


Leads To You

by tsxruka



Series: Bangtan Needs a Hug and a Smoke [1]
Category: ASTRO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jin and MJ are best friends, Kim Seokjin | Jin-centric, Misunderstandings, Multi, Oblivious Kim Seokjin | Jin, Protective Bangtan Boys, Red String of Fate, Soulmates, why is jin like this akjfhjdfbhdj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21762295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsxruka/pseuds/tsxruka
Summary: When you're born, a string appears.At each end are two souls that once together are whole and complete.Seokjin has six of them. He knows this. But what’s the point when they all seem content in their own paths.Or Seokjin is a masochistic little shit that needs to be loved :(
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Taehyung | V, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Park Jimin, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Yoon Sanha, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM/Park Jimin, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Everyone, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin
Series: Bangtan Needs a Hug and a Smoke [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672267
Comments: 169
Kudos: 673





	1. and there were six

**Author's Note:**

> follow my editing acc lukaculous pls

Seokjin often dreams with them; his six. He dreamt every night, in fact, but he was never clearly aware of who they were. No one ever does until they meet them for the first time.

He would sometimes be wandering lost in a forest of trees and he would faintly catch the voice of a young boy, as he laughed and sung with the voice as light as autumn leaves, harmonising with a voice as deep as navy blue. The wind picked up around him and the voices faded with it. Leaving him in the warm isolation of the snow-white bark that engulfed him.

Some other nights he dreamt of being lost in a maze of winding streets and alleyways, leading to some upbeat music lights flashing and gleaming, cheers from a long road he could never reach.

Sometimes he dreamt of dark shelves that lead him in one direction or another. Shelves lined with ancient books and candles, that made the angelic notes of a far away piano, echo through as the dark soothes him once more.

Seokjin often dreams with them; his six. He wonders, do they dream of him too?


	2. rubatosis

**_r u b a t o s i s_ **

The tall and exhausted teen falls gracefully across his bed, after a full nighter at the diner. He swears that each night is dragging longer than usual, the patrons more touchy and friendlier than usual. Not that he particularly minds. It’s the most attention he’s gotten in months. And they are always so kind to him. Never forgetting to tip him heavily. 

He sits in the silence of his room and can just barely hear his father’s alarm clock disrupt the quiet.

He sighs and lifts himself off his previously neat bedsheets and drags his legs into the kitchen to make his father some coffee, since the man barely ate breakfast as it was.

As he waits for the boiling water to set into a simmer, he feels a light tug on his finger, and pointlessly tries to push down the butterflies that make a break for escape and he slips a smile from his lips, knowing he won’t forgive himself later. He looks down and can’t help but yearn for the strangers connected to his soul.

Six. There's always been six of them. The thin strings that wrap so delicately around Seokjin’s rightmost finger. Since he was a child, he would spend countless summer days watching the strings bounce around and tangle with each other and split once more. The one thing that never changes is that although they all touch every so often, they never stay together. He knows that they haven’t met each other yet. He knows because he is surrounded in a cruel, bitter cold when the strings are inches from meeting.  _ What are these dumbasses thinking, you guys are so close.  _ Again, he can’t stop the fond expression his face betrays him with.

Now that he is in his last year of highschool, he has learned all about the fated ones that have been made specially for him, made to be one. But he hates thinking like that. They are all people, with their own agendas and lives and dreams. He shouldn’t keep them to himself simply because they were cosmically connected. He would never hold them back just to be selfish, and he only wishes they feel the same. 

He knows nothing of the six other strangers at the end of the thin strings, except for the fact they have the stubborn talent of changing his mood no matter when or where.

He’s terrified.

He’s heard of people that have fallen in love before even meeting their soulmates.  _ Oh god, that’s what they are, aren’t they?  _

Could he fall in love with six other people? He’s never heard of seven soulmates. The most he’s heard of was three people fated with matching strings. 

It gave him some hope for his ridiculous number of threads that seem to strangle and immobilise his right hand.

It gave him some hope, until he heard that the two that had found each other first, had left the third one, leaving the bond and choosing each other forever. 

He’s  _ terrified. _

A booming voice melts his thoughts and has him snapped back to the cold reality he calls his life. 

“Good morning buddy. I’m surprised to see you awake at this time?” His father chokes out while working his way to the fridge. 

Seokjin realises in annoyance that the pot had grown cold due to his unruly thoughts about his future lovers.

“Yeah I just got back from work. Sorry, I had the kettle going for you. I was too lost in my thoughts again.” He spits with his hand carding through his hair.

His father was a strong man. Strong in will and in body. He was shorter due to his earlier years of malnourishment, but has grown into the father that Seokjin adores.

“Forget about it son. You’ve had a busy night and you still have a few hours until school right? Just try to go back to sleep.” The man says while making himself a strong bitter coffee that makes Seokjin shrink. He can taste the strong liquid just by smelling it. 

“I’ll take that offer. Have a good day at work father.”

The older man hisses at the word and Seokjin chuckles before entering his bedroom once more. 

He goes to say something to his father but soon hears the front door shut closed. Once again, he is alone with nothing but his thoughts.

He ignores the tight, lonely feeling at the bottom of his stomach and chooses to focus on his strings again. Oh, how these precious little red lines could make his stomach flip at odd hours of the day, or how when he was the most loneliest, he swears he can feel a purposeful tug from the strings. A reminder.  _ We’re here, love. It’s okay. _

One day he’ll see them. And he’ll thank them for those little moments. He’s still terrified. For now, he’ll just dream away the ugly feelings and he can almost feel himself, entrapped in the earth of six warm bodies. 

-

Seokjin often dreams with them; his six. He dreamt every night, in fact, but he was never clearly aware of who they were. No one ever does until they met them for the first time. 

He would sometimes be wandering lost in a forest of trees and he would faintly catch the voice of a young boy, as he laughed and sung with the voice as light as autumn leaves, harmonising with a voice as deep as navy blue. The wind picked up around him and the voices faded with it. Leaving him in the warm isolation of the snow-white bark that engulfed him.

Some other nights he dreamt of being lost in a maze of winding streets and alleyways, leading to some upbeat music lights flashing and gleaming, cheers from a long road he could never reach.

Sometimes he dreamt of dark shelves that lead him in one direction or another. Shelves lined with ancient books and candles, that made the angelic notes of a far away piano, echo through as the dark soothes him once more.

Seokjin often dreams with them; his six. He never knew that they also often dreamt of the young man. An actor as he sung, centre stage, displayed as an elegant gold mask covers his handsome face. 

He never knew,  _ that _ was how they would always see him.

-

He never did appreciate the looks he would get from his classmates and underlings as he strode across the wide hallways, never meeting the eyes that drilled into every inch of his body.

He knew that he was a lot more good looking than others would like to admit. His caramel voice complemented his ungodly good looks, which never failed to make the girls (and admittedly, some of the guys) swoon.

He knew he had looks working for him, but what made his stomach twist was what their attention was really on.

The six strings that are, and always were, nobody’s business. The six strings that made heads turn at alarming speeds. The six strings that innocently,  _ claim him. _

People are jealous of him, people are jealous because they don’t HAVE him. Always one or the other.

Growing up, he’s grown used to the names. Hog. Selfish. Menace. Greedy. Indecisive.  _ Whore. _

That’s always been the worst one. He only wishes to stow away the second he hears the word whether they are targeted to him, or not. He hates the word. Truly. Because he is NOT someone that uses his body like that.

_ “Of course the hot one would have six soulmates.” _

_ “Damn, he’s super cute too. Lucky six.” _

_ “Shit dude, how many can one guy need. Asshole.” _

_ “Six? What on earth. Selfish prick.” _

_ “What a whore.” _

He snakes his way into his first classroom and slumps against his worn out and stiff classroom chair, forcibly trying to choke down a panic attack for the fifth time that morning.

_ This was going to be a LONG day. More like a long year. _

–

There’s a melody. A small rhythm that gets stuck in his head sometimes. 

Seokjin is sure he’s never heard a song with the same melody. 

He tries to recreate it. But the melody is gone. 

It calms him.

–

He sat at his bedroom desk after another harsh week at school, barely awake. Exhausted.

He hears a tiny  _ ding _ and reaches for his phone. He smiles slightly at the name that crawls across his screen.

**MJ**

guess who im going on a date with tonight? O^O

do I know them?

bruh…

hmmmmmm

ITS JINWOO

great

leave me alone im studying

YOURE SO MEAN

im kidding im happy for you mj!

thanks

he’s pretty set on “not letting our string determine the fate of our love”

he’s so romantic lmao

ehh i still love him

any luck with your strings?

dont

sorry sorry

youre gonna have to try to find them eventually you know?

cant

i know too busy right?

too scared

-

He ignores the flow of messages from his friend as he stretches from his stiff position at his desk. He’ll answer them sometime today. 

MJ or  _ Myung Jun _ was Seokjin’s best friend for over six years. They had met during the time their parents had basically forced them into a Multiple String Recovery Camp, or in other words; Therapy for freaks.

They would spend hours drawing and imagining what their soulmates would look like. They would forget that to the world, they were meer monstrosities.

MJ had found his first soulmate last year. The thin string would race around him at random times in the day, indicating that the soulmate was extremely close, in the room next to him, or across the courtyard. All he would talk about to Seokjin was how one string would lead behind him one second and be at his front the next. How excited he was.  _ How in love he was.  _

It really was a given that they would find each other one day. It was  _ fate _ after all. They found each other in the science lab of their large school during a lunch break. Since then they have been inseparable. Always seen together. Always touching. Always smiling.

But through their laughter and their masks of felicity, Seokjin knew that they were still hurting. 

They have another string. Leading far from them and seeming just as lost without them as they are. It scares Seokjin how  _ not whole _ they were without their third. How there was a silence when there shouldn’t be. Someone missing. Someone was always missing.

Myung Jun once told Seokjin that he didn’t feel that sadness, that emptiness; not until he met Jinwoo for the first time. Not until they touched their hands for the first time.

Seokjin doesn’t even want to know how the pain of five other strings feels like once he meets one.

So he doesnt think about it.

_ He’s terrified. _

He gets up from his small wooden chair and heads out of his room.

As he walks down the corridor, he is suddenly entranced with the soft voice singing at the end of the hallway.

Slowly, he peers into the living room, where he finds his parents slow dancing in the middle of the room.

He pulls back quietly, not wanting to disturb them. They hadn't seen him but he chooses to look on from behind the door frame in awe.

His mother is latched onto his father’s shoulder and hand as they swing around giggling and humming to themselves. Soft music playing from one of their phones. It looks so incredibly intimate and affectionate. It feels way too private, so he leaves with a pull in his heart.

And of course his mind travels to his six strings. 

_ Will we be able to do that one day?  _ He wonders.

_ How could we? Three pairs make six. There’s seven of us. One left out. _

He ignores his thoughts and heads back to his room, loathing his heart for making him sob on his newly washed pillows.

_ No. They’ll never be left out. There will always be three perfect pairs. _

As long as he is alive, he will make sure that they are together. Loved. Never alone.

-

  
  
  
  


**MJ**

theres no need to be scared

meeting them will be the reason that youre alive right now

they will give you new meaning

you were given to them for a reason

and they were given to you for a reason

dont lose your chance at finding out why so soon 

give them a chance

please

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the first chapter! Its short i know but the other chapters are MUCH longer :)


	3. kenopsia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for over 300 hits on the first chapters! Thats crazy! I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

**_k e n o p s i a_ **

It’s Graduation day. The small family is running around everywhere, eager to get all the preparations ready.

In four hours, Seokjin will be a graduate student and will be entering college.

In three days, the strings disappear. 

In two days, Seokjin becomes a normal person again.

The thing about the red strings of fate, is that when you’re a child, they are displayed to the world for anyone and everyone to see. A label from when you’re born. But the minute the oldest soulmate turns 18, the strings disappear for everyone but the ones attached to them. That’s why you can never see the strings of adults. That’s why Seokjin couldn’t wait for his birthday in three days. 

In two days, him and his soulmates became normal. Not many knew if they were the oldest or not, but as the world had not lost the vision of his strings yet, he guessed that he had to be the oldest. 

He wasn’t ashamed of his strings. He doesn’t want to hide them. He could never. But now was his chance to start fresh. To start new. 

To be Seokjin Kim. Not just the six-stringed _freak._

“Darling do you have my tie!? I swore had it on the table a minute ago.” He father rushes against him.

“Yes, my dear, I just finished ironing it.” His mother yells from the small bedroom.

Seokjin rolls his eyes in amusement. He was the one graduating, and yet he was the one ready first. Shaven, and neat while his parents look like they have just woken up.

Truth be told they hadn’t slept at all that night.

“I’ll be waiting in the car!”

He steps outside and puffs out his chest as he takes in the fresh morning chill and the wanted warmth of the sun. He feels his strings pull at him and he looks fondly at them, reaching his right hand up and kissing the base of his smallest finger. He lingers for a small moment.

_I hope I did you all proud._

He opens the car, slides into the drivers side, and warms up the car for his parents when they come out.

Not a second later he gets a _ding._

  
  


**MJ**

this is it dude!

we are finally freeeeee

we are NOT free yet

we still have to sit through a three hr ceremony remember?

yeah yeah i know

im still sad that jinjin cant sit with us

im gonna miss my baby

oh he’ll graduate next year you sook

besides am i not enough company for today? rude

be nice shithead im in pain 

  
  


-

He giggles to himself and slips his phone into his back pocket.

He can soon hear his parents fumbling with the front door and mumble about the day ahead of him.

The second they enter the car, he is _smothered_ in kisses and hugs from his devoted parents.

His mother is hugging him from behind his chair, in tears. “My beautiful son is graduating this year. I can’t believe how far you’ve come, my darling.”

He turns around and and clasps that small box his father placed in his large hand. “A small gift from your grandparents since they couldn’t be here.” He says looking dapper and proud.

Seokjin smiles curiously and opens the little box, and gasps.

Inside, the box holds a tiny golden compass, decorated with a lace like golden cage and a wooden base.

It’s stunning. It’s very them.

When Seokjin was a child he would often visit his grandparents on their large, (highly over run by time) yacht near the coast. They were the only two people in his life that never questioned his impossible number of strings. They let him be himself, let him be, ‘Seokjin Kim’.

He loves them all so much, his parents and his father’s parents. They never failed to make him confident in himself. To be dedicated to anything he did. To be honest.

“Thank you, dad. I’m sad they couldn’t be here. But I know now that they are. I’ll have to go visit them next week to thank them.” He again smiles to himself and starts the car. He places the small compass in the inside of his coat pocket, and heads to the auditorium. 

It’s a joyful ride, with his mother screaming the lyrics to the song on the radio and his father recording her on his phone, in tears due to his laughing. Seokjin can’t help but feel like today was the start of an amazing life. He laughs as his mother hits an impossible note and joins in, unable to stop the smile that spreads across his handsome face.

Once they reach the crowded and traffic heavy auditorium, Seokjin can feel his heart jump to his throat.

_This is it!_

He feels another tug on his pinkie and smiles as he parks across from Myung Jun’s family.

_Good luck, love. We’re proud of you._

He climbs out of his car and helps his poor mother, who has lost all ability to speak without a hoarse voice.

Once he turns he can see Myung Jun and Jinwoo run towards him and he is careful to catch them both, to not fall on his clean graduation robe. They all let go in fits of laughter.

“The day has come, Jin! That we leave this shithole and make new memories, and meet new people and-” Myung Jun carries on, innocently ignoring the crestfallen face that Jinwoo holds. 

He isn’t far from catching it.

He is quick to grab Jinwoo’s face and leans in close to him. “It’s okay darling. I’m not going to forget you. You’ll always be the one for me. And it’s only one year until you can come with me. We can do anything we want.”

Jinwoo smiles and wipes the tears in his eyes and hugs Myung Jun as closely to his chest as he can. “I know. Doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.” He mumbles.

Seokjin wraps his long arms around the two lovers, bringing his best friends as close as he can. “Don’t worry, Jinjin. You’re going to do great. You’ve always been smarter than the two of us.”

Myung Jun elbows him in the stomach and fixes his graduation cap. “Speak for yourself, ass. I got pretty decent scores.”

Seokjin just huffs out a small laugh and they are all called into the building by the ceremony master.

The event goes by pretty quickly. Myung Jun is one of the first ones to receive his diploma and Seokjin is sure he can hear Jinwoo roar with applause. Once it is his turn, he instantly turns three shades of red due to how loud his parents and friends are screaming for him, along with the rest of his class. 

Throughout the year, his classmates had become a lot more accepting of the six-stringed man. They had learnt to judge him by his actions, than his fated ones.

He was voted by the class to give the last speech of the day. And he was nervous for it. 

He stands at the top of the stage, behind the little mic and coughs nervously. The audience breaks into giggles that he mirrors.

“So. This is it.” He began.

“This is where the rest of our lives begin. Where we become the people we have tried so hard to become.”

“This is the start.”

“We have spent a lot of time with each other. Some might say a little _too_ much.” And he heard a few snorts.

“We have learnt from one another. We have grown with each other. And we have learnt to love, because of one another.” A few agreeing murmurs from the seats.

He continues his speech, and is rewarded with shouts of gratitude, laughter and chants. By the end of it, he is no longer nervous. Makes a couple of jokes and just when he is about to end his speech, something that he could never have imagined, happens.

“- and so that ends my long and boring speech. I hope that you all take that love and dedication, and continue to share your gifts with the rest of the world. We were all put here for a reason an-”

He feels a string of electricity bolt through his arm, and suddenly he is in a trance. He can no longer speak and he watches as the audience murmur in curiosity. And soon he can’t see them at all. He is alone in the building and it’s too quiet.

_Where are you, love? Please!_

He can just see the worried gaze of Myung Jun from his chair at the end of the stage. He points to the strings of Seokjin, in horror.

He gazes down to his right hand and nearly throws up as he notices how the once six perfect strings, have now become only five.

_Five?_

_Where’s the other one?_

He’s quietly panicking. _Where’s the other one?!_

He snaps out of his silence and looks to the audience once more. His speech.

“-A-and our job from now on, is to discover what for. Thank you.” He bows and exits the stage rapidly. He ignores the throbbing in his head and grabs Myung Jun on the way to the bathroom. The other male doesn’t fight it only gripping Seokjin’s arm to balance himself. 

They reach the bathroom and it seems to be empty. _Thank God._

“Jin-”

He turns so quickly it nearly gives him whiplash. “Where is it, MJ?! Where’s the sixth one?” He is panicking. He’s _terrified._

“Jin-hyung, calm down. Look closely.” The younger of the two tells him, running his hand up the older’s shaking arm.

Seokjin doesn’t want to look at them. He’s scared that he’ll actually throw up if he does. He’s terrified.

But he looks down and he nearly sobs. He falls on his knees and actually does.

The sixth string didn’t disappear. It didn’t suddenly leave him. It’s still there. But now…

It was entangled with another, so closely, that they seem like they are one string. 

_Two of them have met. They just met._

He sighs in relief and feels Myung Jun pick him up with a strength he didn’t know he had.

“They met. Two of them have met, MJ! They’re okay!” He sobs happily.

Myung Jun just stares at him in pity. And he doesn’t know why.

-

After the ceremony, the two Kim families (and Jinwoo) head to Seokjin’s house for a celebratory barbeque.

The air is thick between Myung Jun and Seokjin. They laugh at each other’s jokes and answer all the questions that fly their way. But it all seems so forced. And Seokjin is worried to figure out why.

He goes to use the bathroom and once he comes out he is stopped by the voices of his best friends in the hallway.

“So, you have all this free time until college next year. What are you planning to do?” He hears Jinwoo ask gently.

He knows he shouldn’t be listening. It was clear they wanted to talk in private. And he almost leaves until he hears Myung Jun’s response.

“Don’t be mad, but I’m gonna try to find him.”

That shocks both Jinwoo and Seokjin.

The two lovers had agreed that they wouldn’t go looking for their third. That they would go to try to find him after they had both graduated, and have good roots.

“What? Now? I thought that we-”

“I know. I know what we promised. But everyday that we are not with him it hurts. It hurts too much, Jinie. Please, just, let me try. So I can find him. So I can bring him home. He needs to be with us. Please.” 

Seokjin leans a little to the left to see the two lovers, and his heart hurts at the sight. Jinwoo has Myung Jun by the waist as the other has his hands on either side of Jinwoo’s face, placing their foreheads together. Their tears, very prominent on their calm faces. 

“Okay, baby. It’s okay. Just promise me that-” He chokes off.

Myungjin separates them and searches the youngers eyes, desperately.

“What is it? Promise you what?”

“Promise that you won’t leave me. Please. Come back to me.” 

Seokjin leaves immediately. He doesn’t want to feel his best friends in pain. He doesn’t wait for Myung Jun’s response and leaves to find his parents.

They’ll talk to him when they are ready.

It’s late that night, hours after the other families had left, when he gets a text.

**MJ**

i know you saw us earlier today.

how much did you hear

im sorry. I heard everything until JinJin asked you to promise. I left after that i swear

its okay 

you know i hate hiding from you.

u serious about doing it? 

u gonna try find him?

yeah

i have to

you’ll understand soon

what does that mean?

…

MJ?

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of MJ and JinJin, but thats just the start. I promise there's a lot coming! Love you all!


	4. monachopsis

**_m o n a c h o p s i s_ **

That’s the last time Seokjin had any news of his best friend. It had been over a year since he heard from him. Jinwoo had gone missing as well. He would have been worried sick that something that happened to the two lovers if it wasn’t for the small letter he received before heading to college. 

**_Seokjin,_ **

_ I know that my last text confused you. And that you may _

_ have questions for why I hadn’t  _ _ contacted you in a year. _

_ But keeping true to my word, I’m finding my other soulmate. _

_ He is out there and I need to find him. I am slowly losing _

_ my mind, knowing that he is out there on his own.  _

_ I need him so much. _

_ Jinwoo wouldn’t let me go alone. He is with me and _

_ we are searching. We can’t stop now. I promise you _

_ that we are okay, and that we will be for a long time.  _

_ I hope I didn’t worry you too much.  _

_ Good luck in college! Have all the fun you can for _

_ me. Meet lots of people. Make lots of friends. _

_ I know you’re worried about your strings, so promise me that _

_ you will accept yourself and let people know the real you. _

_ And please, _

_ Look for them. _

_ They need you just as much as you need _

_ them, no matter how much you deny it. _

_ I know they’ll adore you! _

_ We will find you again one day. I promise. And you’ll meet _

_ our third. I know you’ll love him as much as we will. _

_ I love you, Jin. Thank you for being the _

_ best friend I could have ever asked for. _

_ I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me. _

**_\- Myung Jun ( + Jinwoo)_ **

  
  
  


It’s funny. Seokjin knows that the tears running down his cheeks were meant to be happy tears. They are okay. They are  _ alive. _

But he can’t help but feel that ugly, selfish feeling of abandonment.

Because he was truly alone now.

No matter how many times he reads the letter, he knows that the words will stay the same. 

They  _ left _ him.

-

It took two weeks until he finally got rid of all his anger. Two weeks of his parents trying to convince him to leave his room to eat. Two weeks of endless, irrational pain.

It took two weeks and he was finally in his own apartment. With help from work, his parents and his grandparents, he was finally able to afford his own place. It was modern, and small. But very  _ home  _ like.

He felt no anger. No pain. No resentment. Only peace.

He looks around his new living room and searches for an empty spot on the wall.

When he finds the perfect place alongside his bookshelf, he hangs the little frame with ease and steps back with a small smile.

He decided that although his friends would be far from him, he would still keep them in his home.

So there, placed neatly in the frame, was the little goodbye letter his friends had written for him. It was in his home where it belonged.

His strings pulled in agreement and he placed a small kiss on his finger.

_ Looks amazing, love. You did well. _

He jogs over to his room to unpack as it is the last to be filled.

His strings have stayed the same over the year. Four perfectly thin strings and the other two entwined beautifully, delicately.

He never stops thinking about them. The six reasons that he woke up. The six reasons the sun always shined. The six reasons he was alive.

He would often wonder of the two that had met. They have been together for a year now.

_ Were they dating yet? _

The thought bothers him. He hopes that they are. Why would they wait?

He wonders of the four remaining. He prays for their health. 

All six. He doesn’t have a face to any of them yet. But they are all here with him. In the hallways, at the bus stop, in his dreams. Laughing, talking, and always, singing.

He dreams of cat like eyes, of the taste of strawberries, of light giggles, of warm smiles, of calming dimples, of bursts of light.

He doesn’t know them, but they have saved his life more than enough times. He loves them.

He loves them so much that it hurts.

His eyes fly open as he finds his chest searing with heat and ice at the same time. It hurts. It burns. Maybe this is the pain that Myung Jun felt all those many months ago when he left.

He finds that he can’t breathe and tries to stop thinking about them.

How could he though?

He collapses on his carpet, with his right hand clutching on to the clothes right above his heart.

-

When he wakes up again he no longer feels the pain in his chest, only a meer memory now. He gets up slowly as to not trigger any more spasms in his chest. Nothing comes.

He walks into the living room of his apartment and lies on the couch without turning anything on. Not even the lights.

He soon realises the time when he stares at the digital clock above his television that reads, 1:46 am.

He groans into the couch pillow, grabs a jacket and heads out the door.

It’s a warm night, and the streetlights are flickering slightly. He lives in a nice area. Just near the river, and across from the small marketplace. He finds an open café and cant help but nearly cry at the sight.  _ Caffeine. _

Once he opens the doors he is met with a warm sight. The barista looks like she’s just about to doze off when he comes in and instantly jumps, glad for the distraction.

“Welcome to Epiphany! How can I help you this fine night?” She’s very bubbly and kind of reminds Seokjin of his friend. 

Seokjin giggles to himself as he eyes her drool on her chin but stays composed. “Can I just get a latté with one pump of caramel and some ice, please?”

She nods intriguingly and fiddles with the coffee machine. “Odd combination, but very much do-able. This won’t take too long, but feel free to take a book and a seat.”

Seokjin looks around the small café, and he’s in love. He’s never seen such an exquisite sight than the view the window leaves. He can see the river as it glows with the light of the towns buildings. How it gleams and bounces, dancing along, what seems to be in rhythm with the soft song that places in the speakers above him. If he could marry a view, that would be it.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” A voice behind him states.

He jumps at the deep voice and is met with an even more stunning sight. The man in front of him cowers over him, with a gentle smile and dark eyes. His golden hair is whipped back, and he carries a gentle demeanor. He’s gorgeous.

“It’s an amazing river. But the light catches it so wonderfully from here.” He smiles down at Seokjin and he feels his voice trap into the back of his throat.  _ His dimples are so familiar. _

The barista calls his name and he bows to the stranger and collects his drink. 

He goes to pay for it and asks the girl, “Do you know who that is? He seems like a regular.” 

The barista looks around confused, “Sir, there’s no one here but you.” She nods pointedly at the rest of the room and Seokjin is shocked to find no one there. He was right here.

“Uh right. Nevermind. I must be seeing things. It  _ is _ two in the morning.” he gives the girl a sweet smile and leaves the counter, “This is amazing by the way! Consider me a new regular!” He says as he sips from his cup.

She smiles and does a cute little clap. “Yay! You’re always welcome here. Call me Sana! I hope we can be friends!”

He bows to her and responds, “Call me Jin! Thank you again.” And he leaves.

_ See, MJ? I already made a new friend. _

Although a little sore from his collapse from earlier, he is still not sleepy. So, he heads a little more into town. He reaches the centre of the lit up square and spots a piano on the platform near the public courtroom. What he finds more interesting, is the man that sits across from it, gently grazing his fingers across the keys, causing an elegant melody to flood towards him. And he is in a trance. 

It’s the same melody that Seokjin has been hearing for  _ years. _

He reaches the edge of the platform and without fully realising, he starts humming the familiar tune.

The stranger looks up and meets Seokjin’s eyes. Once again he is lost for words, the stranger’s eyes are so  _ cat-like _ . He is breathtaking. His curly black hair splits in the middle and frames his porcelain white skin, his lips a pretty pink. He sends a small smile and his gums make a small appearance. Seokjin’s heart flutters a little.

“I knew you would remember.” He says smirking.

Seokjin shakes his confusion caused by the statement and can’t do anything but stare at the stranger.

The other man reaches his hand out and pulls him towards the piano. He gets up and allows the dazed man onto the chair. Behind Seokjin’s ear, he whispers “Try to play it again.”

Seokjin does nothing but obey. He’s never played piano before, he’s always had more enjoyment from a gentle strum of a guitar.

He is shocked to find that he is playing the melody with ease. “Wha-? I’m doing it!” He looks back at the man with a wide smile but falls flat when he finds no one.  _ Where did he go? He was just here.  _

He stops playing and gets up searching for the other man. “Hello?” His echo is his only response. He tries to play the piece again, but he doesn’t remember how it goes. His hands just float above the keys, unknowing what to do.

He doesn’t know what to do. So he grabs his coffee, and heads away from the town. He reaches the bridge across from the small café, and finds himself on a small park bench that overlooks the river.

He takes a few photos of the water ahead of him. None capturing the true beauty.

“Want a strawberry?” 

He jumps three feet in the air, as the man next to him on the bench just giggles to himself. “When did you get there?” Seokjin asks the laughing guy.

His hair is a sea of the most beautiful blues and greens, which seems to almost glow, due to the dark night.

He stops his giggling for a second and stands up, handing the small box of strawberries to the shaking man.

“Here. I’ve already had too many.” He stretches and Seokjin can’t help but look at this handsome boxy smile as he jogs a little toward the bridge. He stops short and looks over his shoulder at the confused man still sitting on the bench.

“Well, come on! We’ll be late!” And waits, laughing. 

Seokjin looks around him, making sure the stranger wasn’t talking to someone else. When he looks back at the sea-green haired man, his heart sinks when he sees that there’s no waiting for him.  _ Where did he go? _

_ I’m going insane. _

He stares at the small box in his hands,  _ strawberries. _

He continues around the river until he is met with an alleyway, that is bouncing with heavy music and cheering voices.

He's curious and walks into the small passageway. Once he reaches the other side. He is in the middle of what seems to be a dance battle. And he immediately feels out of his element. But what catches his eyes is the group of four that are dancing to the right. They all seem to be one with the music. Never missing a beat and Seokjin can’t help but stare at the one right in front of him.

Fiery orange hair jumps around his golden skin. His smile is as bright as the sun and he dances in front of the lights so methodically, Seokjin is sure he is the one responsible for the flashes of lights that seem to bend around him.

He is the one causing the tantalizing _ bursts of light. _

The man stops dancing once they meet each others eyes, and skips to Seokjin, “You came to watch me practice, darling?” He says with a playful grin.

Seokjin takes his time to stare at the sweaty and handsome stranger. And  _ once again _ , loses his voice. ‘ _ Darling?’ _

“I can beat them, don’t worry about it.” The dancer nods towards the group on the left. 

Seokjin looks to the other group and is also impressed with how well they match with the music. He turns back only to find the other three had won the battle. The handsome stranger was gone. 

“Uh, where is the other dancer?” He asks politely. The three men look at him cautiously. “Uh, sorry guy, but there’s only three of us, we’re the tragic trio!” He exclaims clearly proud of himself as the other two just hid behind embarrassed hands. 

Seokjin nods, frustrated. “Yeah of course you are.”

He leaves quickly and stops the pull in his heart.  _ What’s happening to me?  _ He races home as quickly as possible, the small box of strawberries wrapped gently in his shaking hands. He doesn’t know what happened before and he is too scared to figure it out.

Once he reaches the bridge again, he slows across the arch and leans against the rail, careful to not lean too forward. 

He looks at the water and looks down to a small row boat that holds two men. One paddling, his curly brown hair seems to hold multiple colours and one singing, cotton candy-ied hair, flowing smoothly through the breeze. One catches Seokjin’s gaze and smiles so  _ warmly  _ that the older man can no longer feel the fresh morning breeze.

“Hyung! Did you find him yet?” The one rowing screams. The other turns to look as Seokjin stops breathing, they are both so ethereal. The smaller of the two  _ giggles _ so beautifully that it sends Seokjin’s heart in a panic. 

“Come on! We’ve been waiting for you!” The pink haired boy smiles. He stands up so quickly from the boat, that it sends both boys tumbling into the water.

Seokjin reaches out his hand quickly, “NO!”

They both disappear into the water and Seokjin races across the bridge and stumbles across the side to reach the boys in the river. He places the strawberries and his coat on the floor and prepares to jump in the water. But when he looks there’s no one there. No boat. No boys. No ripples. Nothing. He calls out to them.

“Where are you?!” 

No answer. 

“I’m losing my fucking mind.” He tells himself as he grabs his belongings and stomps to his apartment.

Once inside he places the box of strawberries in his fridge, his coat on his hanger and slips into bed.

It’s early morning now and he finds himself on the floor. He stretches from his spot and hisses at the pain in his arm, obviously having slept on it.

He walks into the living room and sighs with relief.

_ Another weird dream. _

He looks at the time and it’s a reasonable 8:10 am.

The kitchen is his next stop. He reaches for the door and is shocked by what he finds there.

There in the middle of the center shelf, is the small box of strawberries. Still red and ripe.

He stumbles backwards until his back meets the counter and he slides down roughly.

_ It was real. Everything last night, was real! _

He feels an unimaginable pain in his chest again, which he shrinks from. He lies, curled up on the cool tiles of his kitchen floor and tries to stop the whimpers that leave his throat. He’s terrified.

All too soon it stops and he can breathe again. He doesn’t move from his spot on the floor until he feels the strings of his soulmates move slightly.

He opens his eyes, and very quickly wishes he didn't.

The reason his arm was in so much pain becomes clear.

Because on his right hand, there is no longer six strings, or five.

There’s only one. Entwined and glowing.

_ They found each other. _

  
  


**MJ**

i know youre never going to get this

i know that you left me

you promised me that we would always be together

but thats changed

i promised myself that from now on, i was never going to trust anyone again

_ (delivered) _

  
  
  


mj

im sorry

im not mad

i was being dumb

i know you wont get this

ive been using this chat as a sort of coping mechanism

and im so lost

they are together

all of them

they have each other now

theres only one string left

mine

_ (delivered) _

  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter so far ;-; Love you all!


	5. exulansis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance sdfnwsabvrhdiuafhndwia
> 
> You're either gonna love or hate this chapter-

**_e x u l a n s i s_ **

College is a weird experience. The teachers are a lot kinder, understanding. The students are mature, and less sex-driven than the horny teenagers in highschool. Seokjin likes college. Although it’s still weird without his friends.

It’s been two weeks since the strings became one. He doesn’t try to ignore it. He feels a lot more empty than he thought he would.

He truly understands what Myung Jun had told him. Why he pitted him. Why he had to leave. It makes sense.

Being without one was painful. 

Being without six was just cruel. 

Seokjin heads to his last class of the day and settles at the back of the lecture room.

He feels a presence sit next to him and sees two people sit on either side of him.

“What class even is this?” Voices the male to his right. Seokjin just laughs forcefully at the male. He’s probably hungover, judging by the sunglasses and the groggy voice. 

“Physics, douchebag.” The female to his left says with a huff as she stretches her legs across the table.

Chan-hyuk and Su-hyun were two of Seokjin’s first friends. They are siblings and are always together, mostly just to bicker with each other. But he can tell that there is a lot of love there.

Seokjin easily ignores the petty fight between the siblings, and goes to fiddle with his strings-

His _string._

He notices how there is no longer that coldness when they are close to each other. He felt, nothing.

It’s numbing and painful.

That’s all it is now.

He ignores that too and concentrates on the lecturer at the front of the room.

Once his classes are done for the week, him and the siblings go off for dinner for a break.

Once they find a decent noodle place they settle themselves and begin chatting about the events of the week.

Seokjin tries to chime in when he can, but he is too preoccupied with dealing with his thoughts again.

_Are they together now? Are they cuddling and watching a movie?_

_Are they at a club, dancing the night away?_

_Do they miss me?_

_Do they want m-_

“-in-hyung! Are you zoning out again?” Su-hyun says waving her small hand across Seokjin’s vision.

He catches her hand and holds it for a while. “Sorry. I do that a lot, don’t I?” He shys away.

Chan-hyuk waves his hand dismissively, “All good. So as I was saying. How many strings do you have, Seokjin?”

The older man’s heart jumps at the mention of his strings. Nervously he responds, “Uh, one, right?” 

He isn’t wrong, but he can tell that the brother and sister know he is hiding something.

“You can tell us. Trust me we know all about taboos bio bio related to strings.” Su-hyun says grabbing Seokjin’s other hand so he was facing her completely.

He’s terrified. If they know they’ll leave him. Disgusted by him.

But he has to keep his promise to MJ. “Six. I have six strings. They met a few weeks ago, so I do technically have only one string.” He can’t look up. He’s terrified.

“Oh sweetheart.” Su-hyun is the first to hold him close, smothering him with hugs and kisses on his head. Chan-hyuk does the same. “Thank you for trusting us, hyung. We know how hard that must be.”

_That’s right. There are people that understand. Thank you MJ._

“What kind of taboos were you talking about?” He suddenly asks.

They pull away from him slowly. Making sure that he can sit straight. Chan-hyuk speaks up first this time. “Have you heard of ‘anaemic soulmate strings’?” 

Seokjin shakes his head slightly and hears them both sigh. He doesn’t like it.

“It means a pointless bond.” Su-hyun states.

The confusion in Seokjin’s face is enough for them to keep going. 

“Su-hyun and I are soulmates, Hyung. Non-romantic. Non-sexual. I could never see her like that.” Chan-Hyung says with a pull in his voice. 

“Our parents abandoned us because of our bond. We basically raised ourselves. High school was hell for us. We knew the looks we would get. We were only the sick, lovestruck siblings to the world. No one wanted to know the real us.” The sister said just as distraught. 

Seokjin looks at the siblings and he can feel the embarrassment and humiliation they must have went through. 

“So there’s nothing between you two?” He treads, carefully. 

“No way. He’s my brother and my best friend. He is my soulmate but for other reasons besides romantic. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.” Su-hyun grabs her brother’s head and puts him in a headlock. 

“AH! BITCH!” 

They laugh for the rest of their time in the small restaurant and the air is light for the rest of the night. 

**MJ**

youll like them mj. theyre sweet and so giving

 _(delivered)_

As he enters his small apartment and immediately feels a thousand times more alone. 

He looks at his string. And for once, he has the unbelievable urge to find them. 

_They must be looking for me right?_

He can’t stay like this. He knows that the longer he stays away from them, the more painful living will be for him.

-

In the next week, he follows the strings (string) around, wondering how close they must be. He is certain that they are all in the same country, as they tend to wander around him at certain times of the day, always in one direction. 

But they are not close enough to know that they are just across the road from him. 

So he makes a plan. 

_I have a break for a week in two days. I’ll spend the week looking for them then._

He decides to video chat the siblings that night. 

“Hello hyung! What can we do for you this FINE night?” Su-hyun answers first.

Chan-hyuk flops on the bed next to her. 

“I’m going to go look for them.”

They both go loose limbed and sigh through the screen. 

“No disrespect, hyung, but about fucking time.” Chan-hyuk huffs. 

Seokjin just looks confused at the brother and sister. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” And they laugh. 

The siblings and him talk for most of the night. He tells them his plan to travel around the country to find the other parts of his soul. Not realising the time until his phone flashes, indicating that the battery was low. 

They say goodnight, and Seokjin dreams of smiles.

-

Sometime during the night, he is startled awake by a noise in this house. 

He is instantly awake and crawls silently to the side of his bedroom door. He opens it slightly and can only just see the light down the hallway from his kitchen. 

He’s terrified. 

Someone broke into his house. _How? Who?!_

Just when he’s about to reach for his phone, the fridge slams shut and he races out to confront the intruders. 

He runs past the kitchen that still has its lights turned on, and searches around the house. No one has left the house, he would have heard the heavy shriek of the front door. And there’s no one inside the house, it’s dead silent. 

He looks around his apartment and finds that _nothing_ is missing. 

He is certain he heard someone. 

_This house is haunted, for sure._

He enters his kitchen and nothing is out of place either. 

He opens his fridge and nearly throws up. 

The nearly empty box of strawberries he had gently placed at the top of the shelf, was now full again. 

Full of ripe, red strawberries.

He faints once more. 

-

He wakes up in his bed and races to the fridge. 

Once he opens the fridge, he sighs at the sight of the nearly empty box once more. 

_That’s enough. I’m going to find them now._

He enters his shower and quickly cleans himself of the bad dream.

_Where do I start?_ He questions as he gets dressed. 

_I could head along the coast. See what direction the string moves to._

It’s a good start. He grabs his heavy duffel bag, his keys, and his phone, and leaves his apartment. 

He sends a quick text to the siblings to let them know that he’s leaving a few days earlier. 

He kisses his pinkie one last time and walks towards the coach station. 

Once there, he buys a ticket for a coastal drive and climbs on the bus, after putting his bag in the luggage compartment. 

_I promise I’ll find you. No matter how long it takes._

He puts his earphones in, and finds a comfortable spot on the large bus seats. 

-

Because he left home a few days earlier, he now has more time to look for them. 

He spends the first two days searching the maps for popular cities and towns, popular destination spots. 

Anything that might lead him to them. 

And he finds it. His string suddenly shifts from being in front of him, to being on his right. 

“Stop the bus!” He shouts from his spot. He scrambles to collect all of his stuff and stumbles towards the front of the bus. He thanks the driver who takes his large bag out of the bottom of the bus, and waves them off as they drive away from his view. 

He looks around and the sun is just about to set, so he heads off in search for a motel. 

He finds a small but clean place and his stomach growls at the smell of the diner across the street. 

He smiles fondly remembering his regulars back when he was in high school. 

He checks into a room and drops off his bag. The room is small, but not suffocating. 

“Shit, this is nicer than my apartment.” He giggles to himself. 

“Do you think they’ll have five-star, room service?” He asks his string. It jumps in response and he chuckles and heads downstairs. 

The sun is hitting the water on the coast so stunningly that Seokjin can’t help but take a few photos. He sends a few selfies to the siblings. And decides to send it to someone else as well. 

**MJ**

( _Sent attachment)_

look how beautiful

oh the ocean is also nice

( _delivered_ )

  
  


He snorts to himself at his dumb little joke and looks down at his string. It’s leading behind him, away from the ocean. That’s a good sign. They’re definitely in the same country. It’s a start. 

A good meal, a few YouTube videos and a shower later, Seokjin drapes himself across his bed. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world. 

But it’s still nice to have a bed instead of a dirty coach seat. 

“I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me.”

_Who knows, love. That’s what’s so exciting._

He falls asleep and drifts of thinking about strawberries and singing. 

-

The next morning he gets up early, races downstairs to start his journey once more. 

He visits many stores and districts. Takes the train here and there to save him from walking. It’s a large town. And he’s glad he’s here. It the first time in months that he’s felt anything besides nothing. 

He spends his day following the string and watching as it jumps around, almost dancing. And Seokjin can’t help but dance along with it. No matter the strange looks he receives. 

But no matter how long he follows the string he doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. 

He’s exhausted, and tired, and a little heartbroken. But no stress. He finds another motel to settle into the night. 

It’s not as nice as the previous night’s location. It’s a lot more isolated. 

Then again. 

Seokjin knows all about that. 

He’ll try again tomorrow. 

He decides to chat with the siblings once more. 

“So, my tall, handsome friend. How’s the search going?” 

He immediately bursts into tears and it shocks all three of them. 

“I’m sorry-I’m so- I- I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve had a good day but I-I didn’t f-find them.” 

He is disappointed in himself. And he know Su-hyun and Chan-hyuk are too. 

“It’s okay, hyung. You still have a week. You’ll find them for sure. Don’t just give up. Trust us, you’ll find them.”

He’s starting to lose hope. And he scolds himself for quitting so soon.

-

The next day isn’t any better. 

It seems that no matter how long he walks, runs or rides, he doesn’t seem to be getting any closer to the strangers on the ends of his strings. 

And it’s getting to him. 

_Why can’t I find them?_

_Are they even in the country? Did they leave?!_

He soon finds that he can’t breathe and dives into a small alleyway, away from the crowds. 

He slows his breathing to calm himself. 

The tangled strings tug on his finger and he’s back to normal. 

_I can’t stop now._

He continues on his journey and the day soon turns to night. 

He’s growing restless. 

Desperate. 

_MJ, are you in this much pain too? Did you find him yet?_

He almost misses how his string whips around him. 

The beating of his heart competes with his panting as he runs towards the direction the strings are leading him. He runs around a brick building and nearly trips as he runs past the marketplace. 

He heads across the town river and watches as his string moves around again, away from where Seokjin is running. 

He reaches towards it and falls on his knees. “NO! Please!” He doesn’t understand. 

Why can't he get to them. 

They must be here and he can’t get to them. 

_They wouldn’t have left the country so quickly, would they?_

He gets up and runs in the direction of the strings again. He runs faster than he’s ever ran. 

But falls once more when the strings move again. 

It’s almost like they’re moving on purpose. 

And the world freezes. 

_Of course._

_They’re not letting me find them on purpose._

_They’re avoiding me._

_They’re not looking for me._

_Why would they?_

_Six. Three perfect pairs. That’s why._

It’s all building up. All the emotions he forgot he could feel. All the ugly thoughts re-word themselves in his head. But they all say the same thing. _They don’t want you. They don’t want you._

He gets up from his spot on the dirty ground and starts his trek to the coach station in this district. 

_Three perfect pairs._

He can’t remember buying the tickets. 

He can’t remember waiting for the bus in the cold. 

He can’t remember when the summer night became cold. 

_Three perfect pairs._

Seokjin may be many things. Narcissistic, clumsy, lonely, but he was never a bad friend. 

Not until tonight. 

He can’t remember dialling Chan-hyuk’s number. 

He can’t stop the words that flow out of his heart. 

“Hyung? It’s midnight are you ok-”

“You’re a fucking liar!” 

He hears the man choke on the other side of the line. 

“What? What are you saying? Hyung, what happened?”

He pays no attention to the confusion in his friend's voice. 

“You lied to me! You told me that they would be here! Waiting for me! You promised that they would want me! YOU’RE BOTH FUCKING LIARS!” 

He hangs up. 

He can’t breathe. 

_Three perfect pairs._

He gets on the oncoming bus. And ignores the string that pulls on his hand. 

_Leave me alone._ He hisses to himself. 

The trip home takes three days. He doesn’t eat. Doesn’t drink. Barely sleeps. 

He’s never felt more empty in his life. 

_They don’t want me. They never did._

The minute he steps into his cold apartment he runs to the kitchen. He grabs the old box of strawberries and he throws them in the bin. 

He feels the wetness on his skin and rushes to the sink, to rub his hands of the sweet smell of strawberries. But as hard as he tries, the smell lingers and he breaks out into a sob. Grabbing onto the edge of the bench, he crashes onto his knees, ignoring the cutlery on the rack he brings down with him. 

He grabs his phone and calls his mother. There’s only one ring until she answers.

“Myung Jun, I thought I told you I would call you in the morning!” 

Seokjin’s blood boils. 

“Why the _fuck_ would MJ be calling you?” 

“Seokjin! Sweetheart- listen it’s not what you think-” She panics.

He sits up straight and pushes the phone closer to his ear. “Has MJ been talking to you? Is he okay? Why hasn't he answered any of my messages?”

Silence.

“Seokj-”

“NO! WHY IS HE CALLING YOU?” He tried to be intimidating, but he only sounds desperate.

“Listen to me. MJ has been calling me every week since he left to check up on us. Just to see how we are.”

Seokjin feels sick once more. “Every week?! If he was so worried, then why didn’t he call me?!”

She doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He waits.

“Mothe-”

“Because he doesn’t _want_ to talk to you, Seokjin.” She chokes on a sob of her own.

He’s cold once more and hangs up. Just drops his phone. And raises a hand to his mouth to stop any more ugly sounds to leave his body.

_Of course._

So he sits, leaned up against the cupboards on the freezing tiles, shaking violently from the tears that he chokes through. All the pain that he’s built up over the years finally burst, and he’s never felt more vulnerable.

He never knew that he could feel so much _pain._

He tries to calm his racing heart and he doesn’t know why his chest suddenly feels like it’s collapsing on itself.

He can’t think about anything but stopping the pain. So through his tears, he looks for something to help him, anything to stop the pain.

And that’s when he spots a knife. Serrated. _Perfect._

He grips the handle and doesn’t hesitate to grab the start of the large woven strings around his pinkie and slices the string inches away from his hand.

He feels the world go black. There’s something warm that runs from his nose. His head hits the floor and he throws up.

From six to none.

  
  


**MJ**

i spent the last few days in a town that ive never been in before

i looked for them with hope

and now i leave with regret

i took some nice photos at least

i wonder what kind of places youve been to

not like you would tell me

right?

  
  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Seokjinnie :(


	6. desiderium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has left kudos and comments so far! Im so happy that you guys are enjoying the story!
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter because the next chapter is SUPER long.
> 
> Love you all!

**_d e s i d e r i u m_ **

The trip takes all the energy from him. He decided to visit his grandparents for a while. He needs the break. For weeks now, he was in so much pain. For weeks, the pain was becoming normal. He needs this. A break. From the constant messages and missed calls from his parents. From the looks of fear from the siblings. And from the ache in his heart. There are no more strings to worry about.

_So why does it still hurt._

He _needs_ this break. 

He parks his car on the curb alongside the pier and tries to spot the rusted boat that usually stood out from the rest of the clean and expensive looking cruisers. 

He finds the small worn down boat by the end of the pier and takes his bags from the boot. 

When he reaches the boat he calls out to his grandparents but receives no answer. 

He climbs aboard, careful to miss the slippery spots on the deck and calls out again, “Ma! Pa! It’s Jin! Where are you?” 

He hears a sudden crash in the cabins and is met with his two grandparents as they rush from their rooms to meet him. 

“Jin, my boy! My god, look how big you’ve gotten!” His grandfather screams right in his ear. Seokjin doesn’t mind. He doesn’t get to visit them very often so he lets them be as excited as they want. 

“And look how skinny you are! And you’re so pale. Goodness child.” His grandmother madly scolds him. 

He lets them drag him into the cabins where they fuss over him, feeding him and chatting the day away. 

Seokjin has never felt more at peace. These two people that knew him the most. That loved him _endlessly._ They truly felt like home. 

They spend the rest of the day talking about old memories and times before Seokjin was born. It’s nice. And he needed it. 

But the thought of the strings are still at the back of his mind. They always are. 

He spends all that night thinking of questions to ask his grandparents about their string. How long it took for them to find each other. He wonders about the best way to tell them.

“My strings found each other.” He says before even thinking. He regrets it the second the two elders stare at him in dismay. 

But suddenly he can’t stop.

“They found each other, and everything just _hurt_ , it still hurts. I wanted to be happy for them, because they would finally be together. I tried so hard to be happy but I was still here, and it hurt so much. So I tried to find them, I went looking for them. I travelled for over six days just to find them, and when I thought that I was finally close, when I could finally get to them, I figured out that they were avoiding me. Moving around me. Rejecting me. I yelled at my friends because I was so angry, so _heartbroken._ And then I find out that MJ was talking with my mother, _monitoring_ me, for over a year because he didn’t want to talk to me. I’m so lost, I feel so empty, I don't know what to _do-_ ”, he ends with a sob and hides his face in his palm. 

“I cut them. I cut my strings and it felt like I died.” He can’t breathe. “I cut my strings without thinking what it would do to them. They probably hate me now. God, what have I done!”

He’s always hated crying in front of his grandparents, they were always so strong that he wanted to be the same as them. Make them proud.

The elder couple were no strangers to Seokjin’s insecurities. To his issues with the six strings. And to see him so distraught because of his horrible turn of events was enough to make them feel sick. They knew what it meant for their grandchild. They knew that if he didn't find them _fast_ , he could be in danger. Soulmates aren't meant to be alone, away from each other. And due to Seokjin’s, rare situation of having more than one, he was in more danger than anyone. He could not survive without them. He had to find him. So that’s what they tell him.

“The longer you leave it. The longer you wait. The more it’s going to hurt, Jin-ah. It’s going to slowly drive you insane, it may even _kill_ you. Please, you need to find them. Ask them why. Get answers. Be sure that they don’t want you. Be mature about it.”

His grandfather was always a cruelly honest with his life and how to do certain things. But that’s what Seokjin needed on his life. What he still needs. Instructions. No decrypted messages. No hopeful messages. No _bullshit._

“I don’t know if I can face them. What if I just break down in front of them and they hate me _more._ ” He's being ridiculous now. But he feels better.

His grandmother grabs both of his hands and turns to face him, a soft smile on her features. “Seokjin, my baby. The second you were born, we _knew_ that you were going to be special. We knew because your strings didn’t show until you were almost six. But by then, we adored you with or without your strings. And I’ll never forget the horror on your mother’s face when she saw your strings for the first time. Not because she was _disgusted_ , but because she was worried. She still worries, your father too. Your grandfather and I trust that you know how to handle anything life throws at you. Trust us when we say that you can do this. We know you. We know what you can do.”

He simply nods at the older woman as she stands up and gives him a strong hug, similar to when Seokjin would get scared with thunderstorms. Or when he would fall from being too excited. It’s comforting.

He knows. He trusts them. He always will.

But he’s terrified. Everyone else that he had once trusted have betrayed him. Abandoned him. He only hopes that they will stay. For as long as they can.

-

  
  


Once Seokjin enters his isolated apartment, he is quick to feel cold to his bones, despite the warm breeze, skating below the heavy, front door.

He places his sand-ridden bags in the hallway and heads automatically, almost robotically, into the living room. Not even giving himself the chance to look at the kitchen, which he hasn’t set foot in since _that night._

It didn’t kill him, cutting the strings, though it would have, had he been born with only one soulmate.

If he was normal.

_Stop it, Seokjin._

All he can do is just stand in the empty room. He doesn’t scream. He doesn’t cry. 

He simply stands. Hands fidgety. Feet _sore._

He thinks of past memories. Everything, _anything_. Going on holidays and scraping his knee when he was a child. Sailing for days on a new yacht with the wind in his hair. Meeting his best friend for the first time. When the first two strings became one. When five strings became one. Anything.

Then there’s a rhythm in his head. A gentle melody. And he just catches the soft, lulling sound, if only just. That beautiful and painful melody that has haunted him his whole life.

Slowly he moves his feet. Imagines that the melody is playing from his phone. Or from the television across the room. 

Imagines the warm laughs of six strangers. He imagines MJ and Jinwoo as they sing along. The siblings are dancing around in their own special way.

He imagines that he is happy. 

Because if he’s only pretending then it’s okay, right?

_Right?_

_One day I’ll be happy and I'll dance until I no longer can. I’ll smile so much that my jaw will hurt and my cheeks will feel full._

He dances around the room, silently. He hums the melody softly, almost too scared that if he is too harsh with the delicate tone, the sound will leave him again.

He dances around the room, and stops when he eyes the small frame that hangs on a small tilt, beside the abandoned bookshelf. The chicken scratch of his best friend on full display.

He is flooded with memories that he's never had, and he finally _snaps._

He rips the frame off the wall and strikes the opposite door frame as fast as he can. _Traitors!_

He screams as loud as he can, sobbing at the unbearable tear in his heart. 

He grabs the small, weighted compass from the side table and throws it against the broken glass of the frame. _Hypocrites!_

Next is the small photograph he has next to his television. The picture holds the small family as they smile in front of the once, new apartment building. 

He takes no time, and rips the pretty picture in countless pieces. _Liars!_

He can't breathe. He claws at his neck and he can't breathe. The room, too small. The light, too bright. _Need to breathe. can't breathe._

Chairs fly everywhere. Glass is shattered. Heart is broken, torn.

Seokjin is a wreck, _he_ is broken. He needs air.

He needs air _now._

  
  


-

  
  


He stands straight against the cold and paint-flaked pole, staring heatedly across the river that passes beneath him. 

_What am I doing?_

He places his right hand close to his heart and hold the fabric lightly. It reminds him of that night he had fainted a while ago. 

Oh, how much has changed in a year. Myung Jun and Jinwoo got rid of him. His parents chose to lie to him for God knows how long. The only ones that truly loved and accepted him had left him. And they’re not coming back. 

His parents lied.

Su-hyun and Chan-hyuk are avoiding him. 

And his soulmates are never to be heard from again. 

“What a waste of a life.” 

He is surprised to find that it’s his voice that echoes his thoughts. 

A tear falls. Then another. Then another. 

He steadies himself on the ledge and sits with his legs hanging across the edge. Far enough for him to be comfortable with the option. 

It’s a quiet night. The air is warm and it’s so similar to that night that it makes his heart hurt.

He wonders if he’ll see those mysterious, beautiful strangers ever again. Maybe when he wakes from whatever cruel nightmare he’s is, hell be greeted by the strangers that gave him a little bit of hope.

“Don’t do it.” A voice cuts through his thoughts. 

He doesn’t look up but he knows that there’s someone there. “Excuse me?” He dares ask. 

The voice gets closer and it sounds like something out of his dreams. It’s deep and soothing. 

“There must be a reason that you’re sitting here right? And if there’s a reason I’m sure there’s a solution.” 

Seokjin just scoffs at the man. _How would you know._

“Thanks for the advice, if you don’t mind I’ll just go back to my self pity, okay?”

He knows he’s being an ass. 

He doesn’t care. 

The man just stays silent. 

It’s irritating that he doesn’t leave. But Seokjin quietly thanks the strange man for the company. 

He sighs. “Fine. You wanna know why I’m up here?”

He looks up at the water, “I’m here because right now, being here, it’s the most I’ve felt alive in _years_ . There’s no distractions, no thoughts. Just _life._ ”

The man sits behind him. Just out of Seokjin's view. “I get that. I’ve been the same for the last few weeks. I don't think I’ve ever been in more pain.”

He just nods. “It’s been that kind of year for us all I think.”

The stranger’s breath hitches for a second, “I came up here to do the same, you know? Not to _jump._ But to accept life. This bridge, this _view._ It has it's responsibility to show us that the world hasn't completely gone to shit yet.”

Seokjin hums in agrees. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m Seokjin by the way, and it’s my strings.” He tells the man after a minute of silence. “I’m here because of my strings.”

The man chokes a little and Seokjin can almost hear his heartbeat a metre away. He still hasn’t looked at the stranger. “You have more than one?”

Seokjin just laughs bitterly, heartlessly. Empty. “A lot more than one.”

“What happened to them?” He asks. Seokjin answers as honestly as his heart will let him. “They met each other, and when I tried to find them, they avoided me. Raced around me in order for me to never catch them. They were clearly happier without me.”

The stranger stops breathing entirely, “How many do you have, Seokjin?” His voice is hesitant, like he’s too scared to hear the answer. 

Seokjin hates how rapidly he turns cold. He is quick to get up from his sitting position and leans away from the railing. 

“What does it matter? I have none now.”

The man is quicker and grabs Seokjin’s wrist softly but firmly. 

“How many strings?” He asks again. Almost desperate. 

Seokjin pulls away from the man and leans forward. 

“There were six.”

And he slips. 

  
  


**MJ**

mj idk if you’ll ever get these

but i remembered something today

the tree

do you remember the tree next to our cabin at camp?

we spent hours pretending that tree was so many things

it was a secret club for special missions

it was our voyager on a long journey

it was a castle guarded by a dragon

do you remember when we would spend hours in the park

eating nothing but ice cream and laughing all night?

do you remember when we would pretend?

can we do that again

lets pretend

lets pretend that we aren’t lovesick idiots

that we were always free

that we weren’t freaks

lets pretend again yeah?

_(delivered)_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_(read)_

lets pretend jin

  
  


-

The large man races through the motel door and five eyes meet him in relief and caution. He is known for breaking things by accident. 

He is panting and suddenly bursts into tears. He falls to his knees and sobs so pathetically. 

The oldest runs to him first. 

“Baby, I'm so glad that you’re okay. God, if something happened to you.” He mumbled into the neck of the tall man. The other sobs twice as hard into the small male’s shoulder.

“What happened to you? Are you okay?” He rapidly pulls away and looks across his face and chest to check for any injuries. 

“Answer me, baby, please. What happened?” His voice is calm, despite the other four men that surround the man as he hiccups in response. He cups the sobbing man’s face and makes their eyes meet. 

The pain behind the male's eyes is hard to look at and it makes the five men want to weep with him. 

“I found him! I found him! He was on the b-bridge, and h-he was talking to m-me, and he’s gone! I- I- What if he doesn’t come back?!” He chokes out through wet coughs. 

The other five men crowd around him and hold him close. They all heard what he said. And they all know what it means. 

“No fucking way.”

The youngest speaks up. “You found him? Where is he? Why didn’t you bring him here?!” His voice is desperate. Pleading. 

“What happened to him? What happened to _you_ ?!” The others ask him copious questions that all blur into one. _What happened?_

The tall man simply goes limp in their hold. “I found him and I let him go.” His tears still race down his cheeks, but he is longer shaking. 

“I let him go.”

“I let him go, Yoongi.”

  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get the boys next chapter!


	7. kairosclerosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LATE MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! <3
> 
> also my friend found this fanfic thats so embarrassing lmao
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, this chapter is almost 10K words long huehue
> 
> Love you all

**_k a i r o s c l e r o s i s_ **

There are seven of them. There always were.

The first soulmate was a high school student. He was competitive, passionate, and proud of his six strings. 

The second soulmate was an amateur model. He was creative, outgoing, and so full of kindness.

The third soulmate was a spoiled, rich boy. He was graceful, sweet, and very cheeky.

The fourth soulmate was a librarian's assistant. He was smart, he was clumsy, who’s smile lit up every room.

The fifth soulmate was a dance teacher. He knew nothing but happiness, he was forgiving, and he was strong.

The sixth soulmate was a talented pianist. He was stubborn, clingy and very generous.

And the last soulmate was a struggling adult, who was falling. Everyday. And very, very rapidly.

-

The youngest, Jungkook Jeon, was never ashamed of his strings. He was made fun of in school because of them, which he would only reply with a sly, ‘At least I’m desirable to six instead of just one’.

He was never ashamed, and he’s loved them all his life. He believes he always will. 

He was the thread of _devotion._

That’s why it’s so terribly hard to see the man he _adores,_ crumble at his feet. It’s so hard, it makes his chest hurt.

-

He always knew what to say, he is _the_ Taehyung Kim after all. He was always surrounded by kind people, and he always knew how to help.

Everyone, younger or older would always come to him, and it was always his pleasure to help.

He was the thread of _charity._

So now that someone _truly_ needs him, for once, he is speechless.

-

Jimin Park has always been confident. He knows this. And he knows just how much power he has as a man. He was beautiful, feminine, and always flirty.

He never had boyfriends before, he saved himself for the six fated ones. 

He was the thread of _attraction._

Now that he is finally theirs and they want him, _need him_ , he feels like he isn’t enough for them.

-

Namjoon Kim was a smart man, he always knew the rational thing to do. They depended on him to do the right thing every time.

He was strict with his thoughts and never let a bad situation change that.

He was the thread of _reason._

So why couldn’t a single, proper sentence leave his shaking body?

-

He was their guardian. He was the one that kept them hoping, happy, healthy. He was the one that looked over his soulmates with his life.

Hoseok Jung was a strong man, and they trusted him.

He was the thread of _protection._

But when his boyfriend was on the floor, sobbing, there was nothing he could do to lift him up, and keep him safe.

-

Yoongi Min was a complicated man. He loved too easily, which allowed people to use him. He was vulnerable to the world. 

He gave too much and got barely anything back. 

He was the thread of _provision_.

Seeing one of the seven men that has ever _truly_ loved him _,_ sobbing in his arms, was enough for him to know; I'll give this man anything he wants, all six of them. I'll do anything.

-

Jungkook and Jimin were the first to meet.

It was messy, and embarrassing, but still beautiful.

And unforgettable. 

Jungkook had just turned 16.

The school year had only just ended, and his class had all organised a trip to the music festival at an abandoned downtown shopping district. There was enough space for music and drinking, and a lot more for _different_ activities. Jungkook paid no attention to that. 

His parents gave him some money, and some embarrassing, _safety_ advice.

He was dressed in his best ripped, jet-black jeans, a silky white, buttoned shirt, and his almost transparent cardigan. His calf-high, lace up boots wrapped nicely around his feet. His face decorated with dark makeup around his eyes and gloss over his lips. He looked _good._

They travelled for an hour in a beaten down truck that heaved with the weight of five grown teenagers and too many boxes of beer. 

It was going to be a night to remember. And it was. But not for the reason Jungkook might have thought. 

-

Jimin was a spoiled kid. Not in the way many would perceive, a brat and ungrateful. No, his parents were giving. And very protective. He had everything he ever wanted. Except the freedom of being a teenager. 

He had heard of the festival in the next town over. His best friend Taemin had invited him to go with him and his partner. Jimin was _going_. 

He dressed up in a sheer pink blouse, tucked into high waisted white denim jeans. His pink converse shoes matched his shirt and hair. 

He slicked his hair back with some gel, and applied some soft makeup to his eyes and lips. Pretty and pink. He was ready.

The next issue, the parents. Simple, he would put on a coat and tell his parents that he was headed to a study session with Taemin. 

_No. They know that Taemin could drink them under a bus. New plan._

_Just sneaking out would be the best._

So he grabbed his wallet and his phone, and opened the front window of his room, carefully.

It wasn’t too late, so his parents would still have been awake. They would know he had left. But he had rather deal with them _after_ he’s had the best night of his life. 

So he balanced himself with ease as he walked along the roof and swung himself gracefully down the side of the house. 

He jogged to the block over and saw Taemin and his boyfriend, Minho, in their black car. His heart sped up as he climbed into the back. _I’m really doing this!_

“About time, princess. Could you have taken anymore time? We have an hour drive, you know?” Taemin dragged as he started the car. Minho just waved at the smaller boy with an exasperated smile. 

“Yeah, yeah. Stop bitching.” Jimin tried to act annoyed. Truth was, he was just too excited. 

He was in love with dancing and music. Who wouldn’t be excited. 

-

When Jungkook’s gang arrived at the old structural buildings, there were lights and music that flooded into the large vehicle. He basically ripped the car door open and ran into the middle of the crowd, ignoring the calls from his friends. 

All that mattered at that moment was the music that played so beautifully, Jungkook could feel his body reacting to the bass drops, almost on instinct. 

He slipped past all the drunk and high people, skid along the long lines, and finally made it to the mosh pit. The guitarist flared a _magical_ chord, it was enough to give Jungkook goosebumps. 

_This_ is what he lived for. The music. The energy. The emotion. 

What he wasn’t prepared for was the jolt of the barricade as a blur of whites and pinks, leaned onto the gates. 

And Jungkook was left for words. He was _gorgeous._ The true picture of elegance. His pink hair jumping with each word and his smile that radiated throughout the crowd. 

And his heart leaped. He paused his movements and gripped his shirt, and he noticed with wide eyes, that one of his many strings, was leading straight ahead of him. The pretty string, connected to the pretty stranger, and Jungkook felt like he could finally breathe. 

He tugged on the little string and he watched with a toothy smile as the smaller male stumbled, before meeting his eyes.

-

Jimin had no idea what to expect. He was never allowed out late, and _definitely_ not to another town. 

So when they had driven in, the festival was in full swing. Jimin was sure he’d never seen so many people at one given time, despite the never-ending parties his high class family was known for attending. 

The fairy lights at the entrance and the stalls of alcohol and food was enough for the pink haired man to tear up. And for the first time in his life, he felt like he had a purpose here. He could finally be Jimin Park.

So ignoring the frustrated sigh of his friend, ‘About time’, Jimin raced past the people and headed closer to the source of the music. The stage was crowded and there was singing and chants all around him, _this is where I belong._

He pushed himself as fast as he could go and found a spot right at the barricade. He laughed in relief and started bouncing to the music. 

He took no notice to the boy next to him until he felt a tug from his right hand, which wasn’t odd, it happened sometimes, and he tripped to his right.

When he looked up, he saw a hand reaching out to him, and a giggle could be heard despite the obnoxiously loud music. He was at a loss for words. He was _hot._ And he gave him butterflies. _That’s never happened before._

He grabbed the strangers hand and they both watched as the string that connected the two souls wrapped around the hands and the world lit up.

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, speechless, lost in a world of pinks and blues from the stage lights.

Jimin jumped on the taller man, wrapping his legs around the taller’s hips as he spun them around.

All Jimin could do was laugh through thick tears. “I found you! I found one of you!”

The other male simply sniffed into his neck. “I can’t believe it’s you. And you’re so beautiful!”

It was an odd feeling, like waking up from a dark dream. Or surfacing out of musty water, where the image was no longer blurred and distorted. Instead it was replaced with wonderful designs of pink and white.

That’s where they stayed all night, _together._ And their world only got clearer.

They talked all night, and completely forgot about their worried friends that were searching for them everywhere. They couldn't care less. They had found each other and their happiness was something nothing could measure up to. Well, unless they found everyone else too.

They talked about school, their families. A lot about their love for music. And they talked about their remaining strings.

“Do you think we can find them soon, Kookie?” The older of the two asked. Jungkook’s chest fluttered at the nickname.

They were currently on a blanket, away from the crowds, Jimin sat in Jungkook’s lap. He was playing with the brown hair that fell nicely across the younger male’s face. It was almost three in the morning, and yet the party was still going. 

“Of course we can. There’s two of us now, together we can do it, I promise.” Jungkook answered as he nuzzled his cheek into Jimin’s palm. 

The pink haired male grabbed the younger boy’s face and just stared at him. “You mean it?” 

Jungkook just adorably tilted his head in question. “Mean what? That we’ll find them?”

Jimin just looked into his eyes, “That we’ll be together.”

Silence, until Jungkook wrapped his arms tightly around Jimin’s waist, face in his chest. “Jimin, I finally found you. I had no idea how I would be able to find anyone. Now that I have one of you, I can’t just let you go.” Jimin’s heart jumped in his chest and he wondered how he had lived without the other male. He felt like he was breathing properly for the first time. 

Jungkook felt brave for the first time that night. “Jimin, would it be okay if I kiss you?” This is what he had wanted his whole life. He was so patient that it was killing him. He had to ask. 

Jimin just giggled softly and nodded. Jungkook quickly placed a hand at the back of the pink hair and pressed their lips together. 

The kiss wasn’t perfect. But it was their moment. It was sloppy, rushed and so loving. And it left them both breathless. 

“JIMIN PARK, YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!” An enraged voice interrupted the intimate exchange.

Jungkook quickly pushed Jimin closer to him in a protective stance, wrapping his arms around him. And just as much as Jimin found it endearing, he couldn’t stop the small giggles that escaped his mouth. 

Jungkook just stared at him. _What a beautiful sound._

“Oh shit, I'm so dead.” 

An angry Taemin walks up the hill they had found besides the, now raided, food stalls, with the most harsh expression Jimin had ever seen on him.

_I'm so dead._

The standing man just waves his hands in confusion, “Well?! Are you going to tell me where you’ve been the past six fucking hours?” He was pissed but Jimin knew that it was just a mask for his worry. He felt guilty.

He got up from the warm spot on Jungkook’s lap, and tried to calm the older man. “Sorry Min, I was just so excited last night that I ran to the pits and then I met Jungkook and then we were talking so much that we lost track of time.” It was a sad excuse. He knew it and by Jungkook’s grisly reaction, he thought so too.

Taemin sighed and placed his hands on his knees, “You can’t do that to me dude. I take you to your first festival, and I thought you got kidnapped or something. Whatever, you're okay so that's what matters. My question for you now is _who the fuck are you straddling over here, dude!_ ” He whispered the last part with a wink.

He looked carefully at the string that lead down Jimin's finger and how it connected to the other male. His eyes widened and he looked back at his friend. “He’s one of them?”

Jungkook had gotten up from the ground and was politely standing behind Jimin, but at the statement he flushed red and all his confidence just collapsed. 

“I-uh- I’m, J-Jungoo- Uh-Jungkook. Sir.” He stuttered as he bowed and his inner conscious just _screamed_ at his failure of an introduction.

Both Taemin and Jimin laughed at the shy boy, and the pink haired male grabbed both Jungkook’s hands and lead him to his best friend. “Taemin this is Jungkook Jeon. One of my six soulmates. Jungkook this is my friend-”

“Best.”

“Right, my _best_ friend, Taemin Lee.” Jimin looked at Taemin and Jungkook as they shook each others hand. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jungkook. I’m sure you’ll just be as cool as us soon enough.”

“That wasn’t a very cool thing to say, though.” Jimin just falls to the floor in laughter. _Yep, he is definitely my soulmate._

Jungkook thought to himself, _Theres nothing that compares to the sound of Jimin’s laughter. Nothing._

That’s what he thought. Oh, how wrong he was.

  
  


-

  
  


There was a storm, the night the six met.

It was the night of the Gorgeian Fundraising Gala Event. Or in other words, a bitching ball for the rich and stunning.

Jimin’s family was invited, of course. This didn’t surprise him. What did surprise him was the invitation from his parents.

They were all dressing for the event when his father appeared in the doorway of his son’s room. “Jimin, we would like to know if Jungkook would be interested in attending with us? We haven’t had all that much time with him and I think it would be a good opportunity for us to all spend some more time with each other if he came.”

Jimin got goosebumps as he got off his bed. “Really? You would be okay with that?” Jimin and Jungkook had been dating for a year by then. His parents were always kind with Jimin’s soulmate. They welcomed him the second they met him. Granted, they did scold him for leaving town for the night. They were quick to forgive him when he introduced them to the younger male. Jimin couldn’t have asked for better parents. Or a better soulmate, who was always willing to learn about Jimin’s hectic life.

What shocked the both of them was when their strings disappeared to the two parents. Their oldest soulmate had just turned 18. They were _normal._

Jungkook had to try to calm his soulmate for over three hours after they found out. It was a strange night. 

“Of course, son. But we _did_ only think about it now, so you’re gonna have to pick him up soon if you want to make it in time for tonight.” His father finishes as he left for his room once more. His mother called out to him

Jimin just beamed and grabbed his keys and raced to pick up his boyfriend. “Thank you!”

-

Namjoon never did like those fancy parties. He always felt like he was being judged, like he wasn't good enough to be there. Although he was probably one of the few people that actually knew his way around a bidding table.

Namjoon was the apprentice for the local librarian and known historian, and spent most of his time upstairs in his own room, reading and writing poems, stories, songs. He had the intelligence of a wise tutor, and physical abilities of a ten month old child. 

He was getting ready for the annual Gorgeian Gala. Usually he would be attending the event with his well known teacher, being one of the many sponsors as the librarian, but the older woman wasn’t feeling well, so Namjoon was attending on his own as her representative. 

He placed his grey coat on and headed downstairs to say farewell to the workers as he headed out to the nearest bus station.

He glanced at his strings every few steps. _Where are you?_

He sat in the small booth as he waited in the shade and swung his head back in frustration when he saw the slightest wetness of early rain hit his shoes. _Great._

-

Yoongi was the most desired musician in the whole region. His musical compositions were inspiring and often brought people to tears. He was always bought out for the most expensive events and birthday parties. He was polite and he gave his all. He was loved by people more expensive than he would like to believe. People praised him and he felt nothing by it. Felt trapped in his own body, smiling and laughing with people that only adored him for his talent on the outside. Ignoring and abandoning what he felt on the inside.

It was no surprise that he was invited to play for the guests at the Fundraising Gala in town.

He dressed in his best suit and tie and fixed his hair with gel and put on some light makeup, enough to cover the fact that he was dreading the event. 

When he arrived at the large building, workers were setting up for the night. He bowed in hello and went around back to practice his pieces. 

He was nervous, but he didn’t show it. He was getting paid for this. He could do this.

He created a playful tune that had some of the workers dancing around and he was calm. He looked down at his hands and watched the strings dance around with the melody. _Please, find me soon._

He couldn’t do this.

-

Taehyung was new to the modelling scene. He was naturally photogenic, and knew how to look after his body, he belonged in front of a camera. 

As one of the up and coming models of a famous magazine outlet, he made many appearances at events like these, to meet potential employers. There were too many eyes and hands on his body to ever really enjoy it. 

That night he wore his best white, lace shirt with wide-leg white slacks. A picture of elegance and seduction. He didn’t choose the outfit, of course because his stylists knew that he would never desire such revealing clothes. 

No matter, he attended with a smile and a hopeful expression. He just hoped that he could last through the night. His strings tugged on his finger and he gave a small kiss at the base of the threads. _You’re here with me, right?_

-

Hoseok loved to dance. It was truly the love of his life. He could match any beat with any movements, and he was known for his great battles in the underground arenas. 

He was loved by any fan of hip hop, he was adored by many as a dancer.

The only problem was that his parents didn't support his passion, despised it. ‘That's no future for my son.’

So in order to afford the comfortable life in his solitary apartment, he worked as a waiter for a big catering business. It paid the bills. But not his happiness. 

No matter how many times he wore the same, ironed down white uniform, he felt like he was lying to himself. Looking at his reflection, was almost second to staring at a stranger. The strings wrapped around his hands in comfort. _I know, I’m doing it for you guys._

Nevertheless, he put his best shoes on and waited for the busy restaurant to finish their preparations for the Gala event in a few hours. 

-

When Jimin arrived at Jungkook’s house it was already getting dark. He would have to hurry. 

He messily leaped out of his car and ran around the side of the house to reach Jungkook’s bedroom window. 

While Jimin's parents were loving and accepting straight away when it came to Kookie, Jungkook’s parents were not as forgiving. When they were introduced to the shorter male, they were quick to judge, calling Jimin just a spoiled rich brat, with no experience of the world. 

Which wasn’t false, but it did send the conversation into an argument with the two parents and their son. So now Jimin tried to avoid them as much as possible. It was easier that way. 

He knocked twice onto the bedroom window and didn’t have to wait too long until Jungkook rushed into view. 

Jimin had to stop breathing at the sight of his boyfriend. No matter how many times he looked at him, he was still as stunning as the night they met. Even if Jungkook looked like he just got out of the shower. 

The younger leaned over the window sill that they had knocked the frame out of months ago. “Hello stranger, what may I ask brings you here. I must say, you _are_ looking quite ravishing.” Jungkook teased lovingly. 

Jimin just stretched up and gave him a chaste kiss on his rough lips, “Mum and dad invited you to come with us to a fundraising gala. But we have to go now otherwise we’ll be too late.”

He jumped inside the window as gracefully as he could in a suit, and Jungkook pulled him into another harsh kiss. “Kookie - Kook, we have to-to go now, darling.” He croaked between the younger boys kisses. 

Jungkook just giggled viciously and got off his bed. “Okay, okay. Should I just wear my black suit. Or the blue one?”

“The blue one. It goes nicely with your skin tone.” Jimin just sighed dreamily. His eyes darted over the other males body hungrily, as the younger purposely took his time buttoning his shirt.

“I can feel you staring, perv.” 

“Get dressed before I change my mind about you being in clothes at all.”

Jungkook gulped. 

-

Namjoon arrived early. No one was there except for some of the waiters and the entertainment. How fun.

The rain had started pouring only minutes ago and it left him soaking. Thankfully for his coat, it was the only thing to be ruined by the rain. That and his hair. 

He had his coat taken care of by one of the staff that hung it along the racks on the south wall, and headed in the direction of the bathrooms. The room was wallpapered and smelt of soft lavender. Though it was enough to make him feel suffocated. 

He leaned across the basin and scanned his face for anything, something that may have hinted that he was asleep, that he could just wake up and be at home. _Anywhere but here._

Nothing, so he splashed his face a little, and headed out into the large hallway. 

He found a spot by the edge of the large room and took in the sight. It was a lot nicer than any other dinner he had attended. There was a large stage, decorated in whites and blues, matching with the white linen tables that held traces of blue ribbon trim along its edges. 

_Not bad._

All of a sudden there was a large tug on his right hand. _That’s new._ Yes there had been small tugs. Never that harshly before. 

It pulled him again and he followed its directions as it guided him through a maze of walls and rooms, sure that he should have just ignored the tugs.

That was, until he was met with two other strangers. His breath hitched. 

He had never seen such angelic people in his life before. One, who was dressed in white and looked like his aura could challenge the sun with his glowing skin and flaming orange hair. The other, dressed in a beautiful white and gold tailcoat with his dark hair as it fell over his thin eyes. He was surprised to be in the room and by the looks of the two other men, they were thinking the same. 

The strings pulled once more and he looked down only to find that the pretty threads were connected to the two strangers that were sharing the room. 

“Holy shit.” That was the tailcoat male. 

There was a gasp and he found that it was all three of them. The black haired male placed a shaking hand on his mouth and cried, as the other just giggled breathlessly and ran to them, pulling them all in a group hug that sent them tumbling into a pile on the floor.

“If you! It’s really you!” The redhead cried. 

Namjoon pushed them away to take a proper look at them. “I’m- I’m- fuck I’m speechless- which doesn't happen often- unless I'm super nervous-or if I have to poop, I mean- Oh my god. I’m- I’m Namjoon. Namjoon Kim, holy shit.” He rambled, unable to think properly. _That was also new_.

He always knew what to say. The smaller of the three just lifted his hands from his mouth and placed them on one cheek of the taller males. “It’s been so long. I’ve been alone for so long and you’re finally here. I’m- I’m Yoongi Min. Oh my god, it’s really you.” He was close to sobbing and Namjoon wished to wrap him up in a hundred blankets and cradle him in his arms, never dreaming of letting him go.

He glanced at the other male, who just seemed to be frozen in a stupid looking smile. “It really is you guys. Who knew this shitty job would lead me to you guys. I’m Hoseok Jung. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Namjoon just placed his forehead on the redheads, and they just sat there. On the floor of an old building, away from the world. Finally together. With Yoongi’s face nuzzled into his hand and Hoseok pressed gently to his side.

There were tears and laughter and so much love. They were not prepared for the next round of tugging strings. 

-

Jimin and Jungkook were late. The younger couldn’t seem to choose what he wanted to wear. Jimin couldn’t be mad at him, but the more his boyfriend stressed about his hair being too messy or his ass not being big enough, caused Jimin to want nothing more than to choke-slam his boyfriend into the floor.

But he was a man of class and just watched in silence as his soulmate rushed around. 

They were in the car and Jimin was driving. Due to the rain and thunder all around them, they had managed to get lost. Unsurprisingly. 

“Darling, we should just stop somewhere and get directions or something.” Jungkook suggested. 

Jimin didn’t want to walk in the rain but what had to be done, had to be done. “Yeah okay, Kookie, You’re right.”

They stopped at a local service station and parked the car under the, much appreciated, shade. And headed inside for the assistance of whoever was working that night. 

They got some snacks, directions and a few jokes and they were off again. 

There was a gentle conversation until Jungkook interrupted the peace. 

“Jimin, the strings!”

Jungkook suddenly screamed out, startling Jimin as he swerved on the road. He parked the car roughly and turned in his chair. “Kookie! You can’t just scream like that, I could have killed u-”

He stopped talking. He looked passed Jungkook and stared out the window. Because on the other side of the road there was a man walking, soaking wet, and looking so small. But what the boys were staring at was the string that connected them both to the stranger. 

“Oh my god, it’s one of them. Kookie, it’s one of them!”

The youngest paid no attention as he burst open the car door and ran across the street, Jimin in tow. 

“HEY THERE! STOP!” Jungkook called to the stranger. 

The man in the white turned rapidly and the world began again in slow motion. 

The two boys were lost for words when the other male stared across to them. “Yes?”

Jimin just simply raised his right hand to his face. “We found you.”

The other male tilted his head adorably which made the other two nearly fall on their knees. 

He was _gorgeous._ He looked like he came straight out of a magazine. He was shaking, and looked so soft, and vulnerable.

The blue haired boy looked to his hand and gasped when he saw how the three of them had linking threads. 

He whipped his head back to them as they started crying, his vision blurred as he covered his mouth with his hand.

They opened their arms and he leapt into them, knowing that he belonged no place better. “It’s you. The ones that met already. You found me! You guys really found me!”

The three of them landed on the ground, wet and dirty. The rain was still ricocheting all around them. 

But the three could not care less. “I’m Taehyung! Taehyung Kim. I’m so fucking happy to meet you guys at last.” He was crying and the heavy makeup was running down his face. The rain didn’t help either. Jimin thought to himself that he could not have looked more beautiful. 

Jungkook placed his hands on either side of Taehyung's face and the oldest of the three looked at him in adoration. “My name’s Jungkook, and this is Jimin. I can’t believe we found you here of all places.”

Jungkook stood up while lifting the two other males along with him. And they both swooned at the strength. 

“Come on, Taehyung. My car is just across the road.” Jimin placed his hand in Taehyung's larger hand, while Jungkook held his other. 

They were giggling once they entered the car, all squished in the back seat, Taehyung in the middle. Once they were inside they could finally see each other properly. 

Jimin and Jungkook worked to clean the face of their new soulmate and both gasped at the raw beauty of him. 

“You guys are so beautiful.” Taehyung beat them to it and started to tear up again. “How can a guy be so lucky.” He grabbed one of their hands and placed a small kiss on each knuckle. 

They were lost for words once more. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” Jungkook says softly. 

Jimin just stared at Taehyung like he was his whole world. Which wasn’t far from the truth. They all were. 

Jimin spoke through the silence. “Have you met any of the others?” Taehyung just shook his head. 

“No. You two are the only ones that have met.”

Jungkook felt a little let down but the happiness and the love was still there. He just hoped that it wouldn’t take as long as it took to find Taehyung, to find the others. He didn’t know if he could wait that long. 

“Why were you in the rain? Were you headed somewhere?” Jimin asked him. 

Taehyung just laughed softly and Jungkook fell in love with his boxy smile. “Yes actually. I was headed to the fundraising Gala downtown. I missed my bus though so I thought I would just walk. Didn’t expect the rain though.” He looks at them with no trace of worry in his voice, and Jungkook can’t help but feel at home. 

“We were headed there too! That’s crazy to think about. We really are destined to be together, huh?” Jimin carefully climbs into the front seat, almost kicking Taehyung in the face. He just laughs. 

Taehyung knows that he shouldn’t get in a car with people he doesn’t know. But they were his soulmates. And they were soft, and handsome and kind. 

Jungkook stays beside him in the backseat and Taehyung can’t help but smile at the hand that slips through his fingers. 

_How am I so lucky?_ He repeats.

“We should probably get moving if we want to make it by now.” Jimin told them as he started the car once more. 

They make small conversations, talking about each other’s lives, what Taehyung does for a living, what the other two do in their spare time. By the end of the trip to the event, they feel like they’ve known each other their whole lives. In a way, they kind of did. 

Once they pulled up along the other parked cars they all stopped moving once more.

They could feel the tug of their strings again. And once more for that night, the world revolved in slow motion. Jimin and Jungkook grinned in understanding while their third leaned slowly to the door.

Taehyung was the first to react. “It’s them. There’s someone else here!”

They all exited the car hastily and ran towards the old building. They all noticed that there was not only one string but several. 

_This is it. I’m going to meet them all. We’re all here!_

Jungkook’s stomach flipped and he sped up a little more as he burst through the heavy doors. 

Jimin and Taehyung stood beside him and were quick to hold his hands. 

There was no one in sight as the event was being held down the hall in the large theatre room. 

“Where are they?” Jimin looked to his strings. 

He followed them and took in how they ran upstairs.

He was the first to go and the taller boys followed him as they stumbled from too much excitement. The noise from the room at the end of the hall blended with their laughter, and they could not decipher what was the difference.

“Kookie, we’re finally together! This is it!” Jimin looked back at him with tears eyes and Jungkook took one of his hands and the other held Taehyung close to his hip. 

Once they reached a certain room, they all stood against the wooden panels to catch their breaths. Taehyung recovered quickly and burst open the door. 

The three inside screamed in surprise, as the three young men burst into tears and ran to the elders who were sprawled across the floor, tossing them all into a cuddle pile. 

They leapt into their soulmates chests and sobbed. 

Namjoon was the first to come out of the haze. “Holy hell, it’s the rest of you! You’re all here!” He grabbed the face of the young boy who was against his chest and raised his face to meet his eyes. He was beautiful and his doe like eyes glowed with the light of the lamp. _Oh my god, are all of my soulmates this breathtaking?_

The others giggled as they all pressed together at his remark. Namjoon flushed as he realised that he had voiced his last thought. “I’m Namjoon, by the way. And this is Yoongi and Hoseok.”

Jungkook introduces his boyfriends as well. “I’m Jungkook. This is Jimin and this is Taehyung.”

Yoongi held Taehyung close to his chest and was overwhelmed by the love he felt in the room. “I can’t believe we’re all here. All on the same night. I was absolutely dreading today, too.” He smiled into the blue hair and gave a small peck. 

Jimin glanced at him from Hoseok’s neck, “Is the other one in the bathroom or something?”

Yoongi and Namjoon both looked at each other before looking towards the smiling boy. “No there was only us three. Is he not with you?”

They all separated as quickly as they could and looked down at their remaining string. “He isn’t here?” Taehyung whispers. And no, he wasn’t there. Their one remaining string lead off in an odd direction, and their hearts froze.

Jungkook started to breathe rapidly, “If he isn’t here, then he’s alone somewhere! We have to go find him! He can’t be alone for too long, otherwise he’ll get sick, or _we_ might, because soulmates aren’t supposed to be away from each other. Oh god, what if something happens to him-”

He was cut off when Namjoon placed his head on his forehead. They were so close that he could feel the younger boy’s heart beat. “Nothing is going to happen to him. We’re gonna find him, I promise you.” He was determined and the certainty in his voice seemed to calm the younger ones. 

“When should we go?” Hoseok asked silently, gripping tighter to the boy on his chest. 

“Right now. Right fucking now.” Yoongi told them. “We go now and find him.”

Namjoon sat up with Jungkook in his lap, arms still around each other. “We can’t. Not right away. We all have jobs. And I’m guessing you guys have school right? What year are you three in?” 

Jungkook spoke up, brokenly. “Jimin and I are in our last year of high school. We graduate in two weeks.”

“So am I.” Taehyung mumbled from under Yoongi’s chin. 

It was strange how comfortable they were with each other already, even after minutes of just meeting. They knew that they fit well together. Happier together. 

But they knew that they weren’t complete yet. Not without the seventh string.

  
“Then we leave as soon as you guys finish.”

So they set up a plan to look for him. They would have to wait a month. Which unnerved Yoongi and Jungkook, but Jimin and Hoseok were always there to remind them of how long they already had to wait. They could do it. 

In that month they got so much closer, learning everything about their other soulmates. Each day the distance between them and their seventh string became harder and harder to deal with. 

Yoongi would wake up from nightmares about the seventh, having to calm himself from a panic attack. 

Namjoon wouldn’t be able to concentrate and all his poems resulted in the same phase at the end of each stanza. ‘Will we find you?’

Hoseok was restless. It took so much patience to deal with the pain. There was never any relief for him.

Taehyung was never comfortable with his job after meeting his soulmates. There was never enough time to see them and he was always distracted because of the seventh thread. 

Jimin took up ballet again. He could only try to distract himself with something. He knew that it wouldn’t work, but the familiarity of the class was calming. Even for a second. 

Jungkook.

He was the worst of them all. He was the youngest and their seventh was the oldest, so there was another special bond that connected the two. He felt responsible for the lone thread. And it took all the love the other five could give him to bring him down from his cloud of depression. 

They had to find him. Soon. 

But as it turned out, that they didn’t have to find him. Because their seventh string seemed to have found them. 

-

It was a Sunday morning when Jungkook was shaken awake from the first tug. He tried to pry himself from the bodies that trapped him in his sleep to look at his hand. It didn’t move. He got up from his place in the middle of the large bed and looked back over his shoulder at his sleeping soulmates. 

He smiled lovingly at the giant pile of men, Hoseok was sleeping soundly on Namjoon's chest, Jimin was curled into Yoongi’s side, and Taehyung spooned the pink haired male. Jungkook held so much love for them and his heart pained once more for the spot in the middle of the bed, their seventh’s spot.

He turned away from the painful scene and headed into Taehyung’s kitchen. Since the male was an up and coming magazine and commercial star, they had found out that the man was already pretty loaded, even before his contract. He hated to spend his money on anything more expensive than necessary. That was until he found his soulmates. He spent thousands on clothes, shoes, equipment, anything the boys could have asked for. He finally found a use for the useless money and he couldn't be happier, but the other boys were a little less excited about it. They knew exactly who it was when they saw seven new pairs of limited edition converse by door, or when the house had a new painting over the bed, or when a brand new white baby grand ended up in Yoongi’s small studio. He spoiled them, and they all felt horrible about it.

“It’s not my money, Tae! I can't pay you back, you know that.” Yoongi once scolded. Taehyung simply kissed the older on the cheek. “It’s our money now, Yoongi. No excuses.” 

They had all basically moved into Taehyung’s apartment. It was big, way too big for the teenager, but perfect for the seven-

The six of them.

Jungkook cracked two more eggs into the large pan and set up the table for breakfast. He prides himself in his cooking skills, and placed the plates on the table.

Just as he grabbed the last two glasses from the cabinet, the tug on his right hand caused him to stumble, sending the pretty glass shards all around the kitchen tiles. 

Almost immediately, the other boys ran to the kitchen entrance, hair wild and breath sharp.

“Are you okay, baby? What happened?” Yoongi asked the youngest that sat on the floor.

“Don’t come in! There's glass everywhere.” He felt abnormally dizzy and he couldn’t see the others properly. Hoseok ignored the warning and started crawling to the man on the floor. He wrapped an arm around the youngest’s thin waist and lifted him carefully and sat him on the counter. He held him steady as Jimin swept the shards into the corner of the room.

“Baby talk to me, what’s going on with you.” Hoseok’s tone was gentle but stern. The others crowded around them and Jungkook instantly felt so much better. “Dizzy.” 

Namjoon placed a hand on his forehead, then his cheek, “You seem warmer than usual. Did you eat something bad?” 

Jungkook shook his head and glanced at his cold breakfast spread, “The first time in months that I cook, and I ruin it.”

Taehyung was about to protest when he noticed the colour in Jungkook’s face disappear. “Careful! He’s gonna pass out!”

Luckily, Yoongi and Jimin caught him before he fell forward onto the floor.

-

He woke up in a cold sweat, and the others mobbed him. They had him in the middle of their bed, their warmth already making the cold disappear.

“He’s here. Our seventh, he’s here. I could feel it.” Jungkook’s stomach flipped at the thought of the remaining soulmate finally being with them. _Finally together._

He got up in one go, ignoring their protests, and got dressed in his favourite jeans and a plain shirt. “Where do you think you’re going? You fainted not an hour ago.” Taehyung scolds him as he reached the taller man in the doorway.

Jungkook looked across at each of them. “He’s here, and I promised I'd find him. So that’s what I'm going to do. You don’t have to come with me.”

Just as he was about to leave the room, Jimin got up and started dressing too. “What happened to, ‘what we do, we do together’?” Jungkook mentally kicked himself at the broken promise and looked down in shame. “You told me that we would find them all. Together.” Jimin wasn’t mad. He never was at the youngest, but he made sure that what he said, stuck with Jungkook.

The others got dressed and Jungkook started to feel embarrassed at his dramatic outburst. They each kissed his cheek on the way out of their room, understanding. Jimin kissed him softly on the lips, “We’ll find him, I promise.” and headed out into the hallway.

Jungkook felt better, Jimin never broke his promises to him.

Namjoon grabbed his keys and they all head out of the door.

After hours of following the string, they were all exhausted as the day dragged on. The sun was close to set, and Jungkook was getting restless. _Please. Please, where are you, darling?_

They were all running across the towns main streets, maneuvering themselves in and out of buildings and alleyways. 

And at one moment, the string moved. Whipped around them.

Yoongi ran in the direction of the strings and the others were close behind him. 

It was frustrating, no matter what direction they ran to, the string ended up behind them in a second. “What the fuck?”, the oldest of the six exclaimed. 

Hoseok started to get desperate, and it scared them all. He never lost his patience.

“Where are you, baby?” Namjoon whispers to no one as he scans the town in front of him.

They ran around the small lake in the middle of the town, gasping as the string falls on the opposite side, where they had just been. 

“What is he doing?” Jimin asks as he sits on the ground with Taehyung over his lap, both sweating. 

“Could he be looking for something? Us maybe?” Yoongi asks no one. 

“He’s avoiding us.” Jungkook’s voice is cold and it shakes Jimin to the core. 

“What? Why would he? He must know we’re looking for him, right?” Hoseok asks himself more than anyone else. 

“It makes sense. No matter where we are the string leads in the opposing direction. He doesn’t want to be found.” Jungkook starts walking back to their apartment, he’s sure that he’s never felt so cold in his life. Even when he’s wearing his boyfriend’s massive jacket on his back. 

“Jungkook we can’t just give up. We owe him that much. We owe _each other_ that much.” Namjoon holds his wrist, gently, hopingly. 

Jungkook stills for a second before nodding, allowing himself to be enveloped by his taller boyfriend. He feels Namjoon’s hand graze upon the fuzz at the back of his head. He’s warm and soft. So calming. Jungkook had to be the strong one when it was just Jimin and him. But now, he knew that it was okay to be vulnerable. To need.

"We would have found him by now." His voice barely escaped the small space between his lips and Namjoon's shoulder and finished in a dreamy sound. Namjoon placed a gentle hand on his neck. 

He frowned and voiced his concern with the other boys, “Kookie's getting too warm. You guys keep searching, I'm gonna take him home."

Jungkook whined from his spot and stood up, shakily. "No, I'm fine. I'm not going home until he's with us." He protested. They all nodded and headed off.

They followed the string once more. It seemed to have bene moving at a steady pace towards the south of town. They were grateful. Neither of them had the energy to run.

That was until they realised where they were headed.

“Is he going to the coach depot?” Taehyung asked innocently, almost cutely.

They all froze and started walking faster, then jogged. Ended up in a sprint towards the depot.

_No no no please._

_This isn’t happening._

_Please, just wait for us._

_We’re right here, darling._

_I promise. We’re so close._

_Don’t do this to us. Please._

They all reached the coach stand, they just missed as their last string turned in rhythm with the bus. He was gone.

Taehyung and Namjoon fell to the floor. Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi all clung, crying, into each others clothes, not caring that they were in public. They couldn’t care less.

Jungkook shakingly stood with his back to the others.

_We were so close._

“DAMN IT!” Yoongi yelled in frustration. It surprised them all, before they all started to chant their own swears of pain.

Jimin noticed the youngest being deadly silent, still facing the direction the bus had left in. “Kookie.”

Jungkook turned with such a force, that it made the hairs on Jimin’s back stand up, “Don’t you _dare_ ‘Kookie’ me. You lied to me! You told me we would find him! You _promised_ we would find him!” He was almost weeping and is held so much anger that it nearly caused him to faint again. “You _promised_ me Jimin.” It was just a pathetic whimper now, filled with nothing but agony.

Jimin attempted to go over to him to comfort him, to apologise for disappointing him. Jungkook just pushed his chest away from him. “Don’t _fucking_ touch me. None of you touch me _ever_ again. If I went alone, I would have found him!”

Namjoon feels helpless. He should do something. _Anything._

Yoongi feels empty once more, almost forgetting the taste of his own self loathing.

Hoseok is crumbling. So quickly, so unnecessary. Useless. _Useless._

Taehyung’s almost perfect world is falling apart. He tried to pick up the pieces but they are dissolving in his hand. 

Jimin can’t stop hating himself. He _failed_ Jungkook. He failed them all.

They were breaking, apart and away from each other.

They were breaking.

  
  


Jungkook's tough reserve broke once more and he fell limp onto the ground, leaving Jimin to scream his name.

-

Three days.

They didn’t talk for three days. They took special precautions to avoid each other, taking different routes, purposely not glancing at their phones. They all spent the three days in their own homes, in their own company. 

They could never have really known how much it was slowly killing them. 

Taehyung destroyed his entire apartment that had become a prison of cold and silence. They was no laughter down the hall. No singing from the balcony. _I miss them. I need them so much._

Namjoon burned all his poetry and stories. The sweet ballads and love tragedies seemed so artificial to him now. The pain in his heart meant more than his words. _I love you, so how? How can it hurt this much?_

Yoongi barely left his house. He didn’t eat, didn’t want to. He didn’t sleep, didn’t want to. He was barely living. A shell of emptiness and void of light, warmth. _You gave me a reason to live. What do I do, now that you’re gone?_

Hoseok had not taught any of his usual classes, nor had he gone to his usual job. He found no need to. When there was no one to talk to, no one to apologise to. Because they all hated him. _You’re so useless. Can’t even protect them._

Jimin nearly died. His heart was in so much pain from the absence of his boyfriends and he wondered how the seventh had survived all alone without them. _I’m so sorry. I can’t live without you. Not again._

Jungkook. Jungkook never left his bed. He didn’t celebrate his graduation like the rest of his class did. He didn’t attend any going away parties or meet ups with his friends. He just stayed in bed. Lifeless. 

_What have I done?_

He knew he was in pain. He knew that the others probably felt worse. It hurt his pride to stand out of the too warm bed, but not as much as it hurt his heart. He should have gotten up days ago. He stretched from his restless spot and decided to take a hot shower.

The water was unbelievably soothing. He remembered having showers with Taehyung, how they would giggle with their wild hairstyles, caused by the pineapple scented shampoo.

He got out and dried himself off while looking in the bathroom mirror, and for a second he was sure he saw Namjoon with his arms wrapped around the younger male’s waist, kissing him gently on his shoulder and neck.

After he’s dressed, he played some soft music on his phone as he makes himself some breakfast, or by judging the time on the clock, lunch. He could almost feel Yoongi’s hand as he glided them both on the tiles, swaying and waltzing.

He grabbed his plate and trundled to the dining table, before thinking good on it. He could nearly see himself sitting on the wooden table, legs wrapped around Hoseok’s hips. The elders lips pressed roughly against the younger’s neck, causing him to let out high pitched whimpers, as his hands grazed his thighs and back.

Jungkook shook his head of the memory.

He was going insane. Which wasn’t surprising. 

_Jimin._

His beautiful Jimin.

Jimin, he could see _everywhere_.

In the warmth of the sheets, in the voices of children playing outside and in the redness of his eyes. 

_What am I doing?!_

He threw out his meal and ran to the front door with his keys. Even if they never forgave him, he had to see them again.

_Once more._

As he opened the door, he nearly jumped out of his own spine when he found Yoongi with his fist raised, still in just as much shock. “Yoongi?”

“Uh, hi Kookie- I mean Jungkook! I-I came here to see how you were going. You didn’t talk to any of us on the way home that day. And you were the first to pack your things. I was worried about you.” He seemed nervous, as he played with his fingers. Jungkook thought he looked adorable with his large sweater that matched his dark hair. 

Jungkook fell in love once again.

“Yeah I’m okay. I was just coming to see you guys. To apologise, I mean. I shouldn’t have shouted. It was so unfair. We were hurting, and I only made that worse. I shouldn’t have just left like that.” A tear dropped at the memory. 

When they arrived at Taehyung’s apartment after a long walk from the depot, he raced into their room and grabbed all of his clothes that he had, ignoring Taehyung’s sobbing pleas for him to stay. “Jungkook, baby, please. Don’t go, please, just talk to us! Talk to me.” He was just too selfish.

Yoongi recognises the pain in the younger’s eyes and pulls him into a firm hug, claiming him once more in a loving embrace. “I forgive you. I love you.” Jungkook gasped as he grabbed the smaller male and swung them around slightly. He had one of them back. He leaned down for a chaste kiss. Nothing experimental, just a lasting kiss.

“Let’s get them back okay?” Yoongi read his mind and pulled Jungkook away from the front door and towards the street. The day seemed so much much brighter than he thought.

It was a long walk to Hoseok’s dance studio, but Jungkook was very much willing to carry the older man on his back, had he become overrun with exhaustion. Yoongi simply scolded him for ‘calling him old’. When they entered, they were confused when they found no music, no dancers, and no light.

They travelled into the small office at the back of the building, expecting the red head to be inside. All that resulted in was an empty room. 

Soon, Jungkook could hear a soft melody in one of the old practice rooms and began to drag Yoongi towards the door. They both looking into the small window that covered the frame and breathed in relief. Because there he was, moving to the music so peacefully, and painfully. They stared for a moment, enticed with Hoseok’s expressions, his arms as they carried him in waves.

Yoongi opened the door and the music came in ripples of sound. Hoseok stopped his movement once he saw his two boyfriends holding hands. He breath hitched as he raises a hand to his mouth. 

_He’s beautiful_ , Jungkook thought to himself. _Stunning._ The cursed the isolation for allowing him to forget.

They move towards him and they all meet in a bruising hug. 

“I thought you hated me. I thought you wouldn’t want me anymore.” He sobbed quietly into their embrace. 

“Never.” Jungkook gripped his hand and kissed his palm softly. “I’m so sorry, Seokie. I’m so so sorry.”

They held onto each other for a few more moments and then went off to find their next boyfriend.

Namjoon was picking up fallen novels off the shelves on the older books section when he felt a presence behind him.

“Look ma’am, if you’re here to ask me about that same damn book again, I swear I’ll-” He fell short when he turned and saw three of his soulmates holding hands. “Oh,'' was all he could say.

He was quick to forgive them, reprimanding them for leaving him alone, even if it was for two and a bit days.

They all travelled to Taehyung’s apartment, all horrified when they heard smashing behind the large door.

Namjoon banged on the door harshly, “Taehyung! Are you okay? Open the door!”

Jungkook grabbed the shirt of the tallest, nervously. 

There was a shuffle on the other side of the door until the pain-stricken male whipped the door open as makeup ran down his face.

“It's you.” His voice was small and Namjoon grabbed him just before he fell on his knees. “Baby, what happened?” They all looked past the broken male at the trashed apartment. It was enough to make even Yoongi choke up.

“I'm sorry. I couldn't take it after you all left. It was so empty and so quiet. Too fucking quiet.”

Jungkook brought the blue haired male to his chest and held him close, tightly. “I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I screamed at you all, and I left. I'm so sorry Tae, I love you all so much. I'm so sorry.”

Taehyung dragged them all to the floor and they all hugged in a small pile. “I love you guys so much, thank you for coming back. Thank you so much.” He smiled at their youngest. “It’s okay Kookie. You’re here now.”

They eventually got up from the floor and Yoongi and Namjoon assisted in helping Taehyung clean himself up. Jungkook and Hoseok tried to clean up the apartment as best as they could without getting glass and broken tile cut through their skin.

Next it was Jimin. _Oh, Jimin._

Jungkook felt a sting in his heart and he knew that Jimin was in so much pain. He felt so guilty. He screamed at him. He had never screamed at Jimin before. Even when the pink haired man did something Jungkook got tired from, he was always patient. He had lost Jimin’s trust. And he knew that it wasn’t going to be easy, but he would go to the ends of the world to get him back.

They reached his house when the sun was already down, long past reasonable hours. Jimin’s parents were out on a romantic getaway for the week. _Convenient._

When they all walked up his front door, Jungkook suddenly lost all the words he needed to say. “What the fuck am I gonna tell him?” Taehyung rubbed his hand between Jungkook’s shoulder blades softly. “The truth, Kookie. That you were scared. That you still are. And that you love him.”

Taehyung always knew the right things to say. “Come on. He’s probably waiting for us now.”

Jungkook nodded and used his key to open the door.

They walked through the house and found nothing out of place. The hallway was clean, and the tiles were spotless. Taehyung winced in disgust at the memory of his destroyed apartment.

They twitched at a loud bang from above them and Jungkook raced up the stairs. “Jimin!”

Once he reached his room, he choked at the sight of his boyfriend as he lay on his side with blood running down his nose. His blood froze and he screamed, “JIMIN!”

They all reach the room and rush to the smaller male’s body. Hoseok brings his face close to Jimin’s in search of his heartbeat. “Jimin, sweetheart. Can you hear me?”

Yoongi rang for an ambulance, telling them where they were and what had happened. Jungkook snatched the phone from him, “HURRY THE FUCK UP! HE’S NOT BREATHING.”

The voice on the other side of the phone huffed in annoyance, but he paid no attention to it as he watched in horror as one by one, his soulmates all fall to their knees, limp, blood running down from their own ears and noses.

He took one step until he too stumbled to the ground. They all fell forward and he barely caught himself as he lost consciousness for the second time that week.

**MJ**

jin are you there?

i know i have a lot that i need to say to you

there’s no doubt that you’re angry at me 

i only wish that youll let me tell you why

( _delivered_ )

jin?

( _delivered_ )

  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter answers some questions! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments!
> 
> Love you all, talk to you guys next time!


	8. dysania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy's side of the story pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for people with emetophobia (disturbed with vomiting etc) It's not too explicit but it is there :)

**_d y s a n i a_ **

  
  


It nearly killed them too. When they woke, they were all in the hospital, barely recognising the white walls. Confused as to where they were.

Namjoon woke up in a daze. He woke to bright lights and irritating noises. He looked to his left and saw Hoseok as he gently slept. His hair was swept from his forehead with a small clip and Namjoon found it so incredibly cute.

When he remembered where he was, he sat up quickly from his bed. As he looked around, he found all of his soulmates in their beds, he wondered how on earth they were able to get one private room for themselves. Probably Taehyung’s ridiculous health fund.

He noticed how Jungkook was already awake, away from his bed and sitting next to Jimin’s bedside. He was mumbling small apologies as he held his boyfriend’s hand to his forehead.

Namjoon stood from his bed and headed slowly to the two, careful to not scare Jungkook.

The youngest caught sight of the other man and looked down in shame. “Hey.”

Namjoon tried to ignore the tear tracks that lead down Jungkook’s handsome face. “What happened? I don’t remember anything after my knees gave out.” He asked the smaller man as he sat by Jimin’s feet.

Jungkook didn’t do anything for a few seconds until he broke into a broken sob. Namjoon’s heart paled and he froze. “Jungkook?!”

The boy simply motioned to his right hand. “Six. Six, and there were six.” He sang. Namjoon was horrified at the tone. 

Then he felt it. He looked down at his finger, his remaining string was gone. _It’s gone?_

Jungkook stared at him. “He cut the bond, Joon. Our seventh cut our strings.”

Namjoon leaned over and puked around the sterile floor.

-

"It was necessary for the six of you to be in the same room. Considering you were all suffering from a bond disruption, it was vital that you were all in close proximity of each other to heal." 

"I see. Does that mean that the one that cut them is okay?"

"Absolutely not. If anything, they would be the worst of you all."

"Oh god-"

"There is no need to panic, as long as they reached a hospital in time, there is a very high possibility that they came out of it unharmed. Of course without the bond, you will not be able to tell or not if they are okay. Just have faith."

"I don't know if I have any left, if I'm honest..."

-

They were all sat on Namjoon’s hospital bed. Jungkook and Jimin hadn’t left each others sides the second they woke up. Jimin forgave the youngest immediately. _“Kookie. Of course I forgive you. You know I love you, right?”_

They were trying to figure out how to move on. “I don’t want to move on, Joon. We need to find him. We need to bring him home.” Yoongi was getting upset and Jimin wrapped an arm around him in comfort.

None of them wanted to live without their last string. It already took too much out of them already to be apart from him.

So they decided to look for him again. No matter how long it would take.

“When we weren’t talking, I tracked down the bus that he had taken at the depot. It was taking him to a town a few days away from here. I reckon we pack our bags, jump in the truck, find him and ask him exactly why he doesn’t want us.” Namjoon spoke softly but determined. “He’ll give us an explanation, right?” 

The others chose to hope. They had come that far right?

“Okay. When all of us recover properly we’ll go and try to find him.” 

-

Of course it takes them almost another month to leave, they never leave each other for long. They struggled to go back to work, but they knew that the rest of them would be there in their home, at the end of the night. It was enough for them. Taehyung would always remember how great it felt to come home to gentle singing in the kitchen again.

Once it was time to leave, they were nothing but a bunch of nerves. Hoseok was careful to not let them stress for too long about finding their seventh. 

Yoongi couldn’t think about anything else. 

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook never left each other’s side. Always holding hands or leaning on one another.

And Namjoon quietly drove the six of them in his black truck. 

They only stopped for night when they were raided by fatigue, all climbing into the back of the old truck with their blankets and jackets and thoughts. They didn’t talk, they only held each other close, scared to be apart ever again. On the last night on the road, Hoseok woke to sniffling coming from the front of the vehicle. He was sure to not wake the others as he gracefully placed his feet along side the car. He walked slowly to the front where he found Taehyung, sitting with his knees to his chest and head in his arms, leaning on the dirty grill of the car.

“Tae.”

The younger looked up and Hoseok’s heart shattered when he saw the blotches of red that decorated his pretty face, lit with the light of the moon.

“I'm sorry if I woke you. I just couldn’t sleep.” He tried to laugh it off, it sounded painful.

Hoseok kneeled next to him. “What’s going on in that head?”

Taehyung huffed a sharp breath. “I'm tired of this, Seok. I don’t want to be in pain anymore. I thought that when I found at least one of you, I would finally be happy, be whole. But now it’s only brought more sadness and hunger for something I shouldn't have had in the first place. It’s like something in me, is dying and I have no way of finding it.” 

He didn’t mean it to target the older male, but it still hurt him just as much as a stab to the heart. “So what you’re saying it that you would be happy if you had only one soulmate?” It came out bitter and angry when really he was just confused.

_Taehyung doesn’t want us?_

_Why would he._

_Useless._

Taehyung looked at Hoseok as if he had kicked a child. “What, no! Of course not!”

Hoseok leaned against the side of the hood and crossed his arms, “But that’s what you meant right? That it would be easier if you found one. The only one. Who would you choose? Yoongi? You seem a lot closer to him than to any of us. Or Namjoon? You two are always going on about museum dates and historical literature. Or Jimin maybe, since you guys are the same age and get along so much better. Or maybe Jungkook since you two are the youngest. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted none of us.”

Taehyung couldn’t say anything, out of shock or from being caught, Hoseok couldn’t tell.

Hoseok was in so much pain already, and Taehyung’s words were only making him feel worse. He unconsciously rubbed his arms, a nervous twitch he developed over that past year. “It’s okay to wish for something better, Taehyung. You don’t think it hurts that I can’t give that to you? All I want is for you all to be safe. To be happy. And I can't even do that. No wonder you want to leave.”

“Leave?” Jimin’s voice appeared. “Taehyung, you want to leave?” He had Namjoon’s hoodie on and it dragged over his thighs, due to its size. He looked so much smaller than usual and Hoseok wanted nothing more than to hold him forever. His small eyes begin to water at the statement, lip quivering.

At the new voice, Taehyung grabbed both of the other male’s hands and pushed them towards the driver's seat, placing Jimin in his lap and Hoseok on his chest. “No, Jiminie, I don't want to leave. I never want to leave. I’m just so scared, I’ve never put so much trust in anyone like this before. Put my heart in so many pairs of hands. I love you all so much, and even our seventh, I love him so so much that I’m terrified I’m going to fail him. I'm not going to be enough for him. And Seok, you have no idea how much I love you, how much I depend on you, how _proud_ I am of you. You’ve been our fortress for so long and that isn’t fair. We should all be in this together, like Kookie said. I want to be strong for you all, for him, and I’m getting through it, I promise you.”

Hoseok kissed the blue haired male for as long as his lungs allowed him, drowning in him. Of course Taehyung wanted him. He wanted Taehyung just as much. He was so warm and his heart soared, a regular occurrence when it came to his soulmates. 

“Stop smooching! I want kisses too.” Jimin’s adorable pout made the other two laugh for the first time in days.

They took turns at giving the smaller male little kisses over his face, ending with Hoseok kissing his jaw softly while Taehyung kissed his neck, making small noises come out of the even smaller male.

-

The next morning they found that they had fallen asleep on the long seat, Jimin and Taehyung were squished together, with Hoseok lying on Taehyung’s chest.

Jungkook practically ripped the door open as they groaned in lack of appreciation of the sudden awakening. “You guys had a cuddle pile and didn’t invite me?! You fuckers- YOONGI!” 

“Hhhhh what?” 

“Cuddle pile!”

“JungKOOK WAIT THERE’S NO ROOM-”

The mood was lighter, Everyone was well rested and they were ready for the day ahead.

-

If they had known how that week would turn out, they would have been better prepared.

They spent days searching the small town and its universities, _What if he isn’t studying?_

They searched in cafés and restaurants. The shopping district. The hospitals. They couldn’t find him.

They were tired and pained, Namjoon explained that because of the broken bond they would be feeling very fatigued, but they kept looking, they knew they would find him any day now.

Today is that day.

The six of them are all laying on the bed closest to the motel door and are huddled in a cuddle pile. Namjoon is in the middle and holds Jungkook in his lap once more. It seems to be the youngest’s favourite spot. 

“I was just walking around, restless. I just wanted to breathe after the fight-” Yoongi looked away in shame. They had gone into an argument just before Namjoon had walked out the door. They had argued about whether or not they should go home. Leave the seventh. 

-

“Joonie, you can’t be serious?” Yoongi looked offended. They had returned from another failed search attempt when Namjoon suggested that they pack up and go back home. Hoseok and the three youngest were taking a nap, while Namjoon and Yoongi talked outside on the balcony. 

Namjoon stared at the shorter male with an unreadable expression. “Yoon, i'm just worried about the others, they are getting worse everyday. And right now I don't see them getting any better. We should be at home, resting, taking care of them.” It hurt to say it but he had to think of his soulmates. He didn’t want to leave, of course not. He had to think about what was best. _Try not to think of the seventh._

Yoongi wiped a tear from his cheek harshly. “No.”

“Yoon-”

“No, Namjoon. We came here to find him, and that’s what we are going to do. Find him and bring him home. He belongs with us, strings or not.” Yoongi was shaking slightly and didn’t dare look into his boyfriend’s eyes. Namjoon winced at the name. Yoongi always called him ‘Joonie’.

“Yoongi, stop thinking about yourself for now and think about the younger ones.” He tried to sound as stern as possible but it seemed almost threatening to the smaller male.

Yoongi finally looked up at him and Namjoon chilled when he no longer saw that warm glow .“Excuse me? You’re the only one that’s needs to start thinking about the others. We are not leaving and that’s final.” He turned to enter the room and Namjoon spoke the words he would always regret. 

“You can’t stop me from leaving.” The idea that Namjoon would go alone, after everything that had already happened, petrified Yoongi.

“Namj-”

“When the others wake up, I’ll tell them that I’m leaving in the morning, whoever wants to come they can.” Namjoon sounded empty. Yoongi knew what that felt like too well.

Yoongi tried his best to hold onto the tall male. “No. No! Namjoon. You can’t seriously be thinking this. We can't separate. Not after what’s already happened. Please, just think about this.”

“Do you think I want to do this? We have no other choice, he cut the strings and that was his choice! We need to look after them now.” Namjoon wants nothing more than to shake Yoongi out of the delusion that everything was okay. Everything was definitely _not_ okay. “Yoon, they are _dying!_ Don’t you understand that?”

Yoongi freezes and tears leak from his eyes. “Of course I know that.” So quiet. Too quiet.

“Wha-”

“OF COURSE I KNOW THAT, ASSHOLE! BUT HAVE YOU NOT REALISED THAT WE ARE TOO? NAMJOON, _WE_ ARE DYING TOO! IMAGINE HOW OUR LAST SOULMATE FEELS?” Namjoons eyes widened at the raised voice as he backed away from the enraged male. Yoongi has no idea where the anger came from, but suddenly he couldn’t stop screaming.

“I wake up from nightmares about finding one of you dead on the floor, shaking violently from another seizure! We nearly died once, Namjoon. Stop being such a fucking coward for once in your life, damn you!”

Once the words left his mouth, he instantly withdrew from the angry man across from him. Namjoon glared at him in so much pain, that Yoongi felt cold, as a fresh wave of tears blurred his vision. “Wait Namjoon-”

He was too late, the taller man just walked away. 

-

Hours later, it all seems pointless now and they were quick to apologise to each other. 

“-so I went on a walk along the bridge not far from here. And that’s when I saw him. He was just sitting there on the railing. I had no idea who he really was, all I knew was that he had tears running down his face and his skin was an unhealthy shade of blue.” He shudders at the memory and Hoseok wipes his tears. “It’s okay, take your time, sweetheart.” 

It’s hard for Namjoon to remember everything. 

The stranger in front of him is falling, he is falling and he is frozen. 

_Six?_

The world shifted from time and the rain around him began once more. 

_That’s him. That’s our other soulmate._

He snaps out of his trance and is just in time to grab the stranger’s arm. And he knows. He feels it. His missing piece. _He’s slipping_. The older man just smiles sadly. He hands something to the panicked man and swings his arm around.

“You know, I regret only one thing. I wish I could have met them. Held them. Just once.” He says softly as he opens his other hand. 

It’s Seokjin’s pink phone. Namjoon can't speak, only tries to hold on impossibly tighter. "Please, give it to them." He feels like the life in him starts breaking down the second he feels Seokjin’s arm slipping. “No. No!”

He slips and he leans across the railing just to watch the body of the male disappear into the water. 

_No. No no no no no no no NO!_

His tears run down his chin and neck almost as rapidly as he sprints towards the end of the bridge and back around to the lake. 

_Please no!_

He rips his phone from his back pocket and calls an ambulance. 

Namjoon throws his and Seokjin’s phones onto the damp bank, scans the lake for any ripples and dives in immediately, his weak muscles refusing to let him to go faster. He reaches the sinking man and wraps his arms around his torso, bringing them both towards the surface.

The river is quicker than the two of them, and he feels the weight of the man he’s holding and the pull of the river, drag the two down.

  
  


**_Jungkook_ ** _._

  
  


No matter how hard he tries, he is only rewarded with a couple of seconds of fresh air, until he again is sinking.

  
  


**_Taehyung_ ** _._

  
  


The fight in him rests, and he lets the river take him and his soulmate. 

  
  


**_Jimin_ ** _._

  
  


At least they would be together. Floating forever in each others arms, finally. 

  
  


**_Hoseok_ ** _._

  
  


But it doesn’t feel right yet. The water feels warm, too warm. 

  
  


**_Yoongi_ ** _._

  
  


He bursts through the water just in time for the paramedics to reach the water. 

He swims to the edge with a foreign strength and gently places his soulmate on the ground.

_What are you saying?! Don’t give up on them too._

Seokjin is blue, and Namjoon starts screaming.

  
  
  


“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't do this again. I can't.” He tells the boys that surround him.

It was hard to relive, Namjoon is sure he’ll never get rid of the image of the dead face of the missing soulmate. “Just give me a minute.” His boyfriends don't rush him. Just softly run their fingers around the distressed man’s face. 

  
  
  


The paramedics get to Seokjin's body and Namjoon lets them work on departing the water in the unconscious man’s chest. 

Every second is heartbreaking and Namjoon thinks to himself that this could really be it. This is where they would last see their beloved seventh soulmate.

Namjoon grabs the older man’s cold and damp hand, cradling it to his chest. “Please darling, don’t leave just yet. Give us a chance. Please. Please. Please.”

The plea seems to be the only words that leave his mouth for the next minute. 

After about two minutes, water springs out of Seokjin’s mouth. His eyes fly open and his head rolls to its side to face Namjoon. He is coughing all mixtures of dirt, water and blood. His breathing, erratic. 

“Am I dead?” He asks roughly. Namjoon can’t do anything but stare in disbelief.

The next thing he knows is that Seokjin was being dragged away from the other soulmate, Namjoon’s thrashing and sobbing doing nothing to help the paramedic that constrains him. He had to be with him.

_Don’t take him away from me again!_

He calmed down and slumped onto his knees. The driver seems to tell him something but Namjoon couldn’t hear anything except the sobs from his soulmate. _Be gentle with him, please._

They leave the man behind, and they take off.

Namjoon doesn’t move from his spot. _They took him. They took him._

_I -_

_I let him go._

_I nearly let us drown._

_What is wrong with me._

_I let him go._

_I nearly let them all go._

He suddenly remembers the phones that he had discarded before. He sees the plethora of concerned messages from his boyfriend. He responds as quickly as his shaking hands allow him.

  
  


**YOONIE**

  
  


baby please come back

im so sorry for yelling at you

im just so scared

im scared of losing you all

i know that youre just as scared as me 

please come back

please

joonie please answer me

at least tell me youre okay

baby?

im getting worried

joonie please

**_YOONIE_ ** _tried calling you. You have (1) new voice message/s._

baby please answer me

where are you

are you okay????

**_YOONIE_ ** _tried calling you. You have (2) new voice message/s._

NAMJOON ANSWER YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW

baby please answer me

even if you hate me no

idc

please

  
  
  


Namjoon is sure a punch in the stomach would hurt less than the pain in Yoongi’s messages. He closes the messages app and listens to his voicemails.

“Joonie, baby, I'm so so sorry, please answer me, please call me back, I love you so much.”

Another tear falls down his cheek.

“Namjoon, I'm begging you. Please, please tell me you’re okay. We’re worried sick. I’m worried sick, _please_. I love you, baby. Please be okay.

He texts the worried man back.

**YOONIE**

yoongi im okay, im so sorry

i will explain when i get back to the motel

i love you so much

oh my god namjoon

youre ok

you dont have to explain anything

just come back

its okay baby

just come back

please

  
  
  


So that’s where it ended. He brought himself and Seokjin’s delicate pink phone back to the motel, where Yoongi covered him with kisses and sobs and apologies.

“Seokjin. His name is Seokjin.” Jungkook rolls his tongue around the name, tasting it. Memorising it.

“Yeah, his name is Seokjin, and he’s beautiful. Stunning really. Like candlelight in the winter. So delicate.” Joon mumbles, looking past them. He is pretty sure that he has no tears left in him.

“And now he's in some hospital that I couldn't even bother listening to the name to. He’s gone again. And I don't know if we can find him.”

He took out the phone out of his drenched shorts, hoping the water hadn’t damaged the vital piece of technology. “He told me to give this to them, just before he jumped.” They all crowded around his extended hand in curiosity.

“Who’s _them_?” Yoongi asks bitterly. Namjoon nuzzles Yoongi’s cheek with his nose. “Us, Silly.”

He opens the phone and is shocked but grateful to find it lockless. There’s nothing on the phone. Nothing but the contacts of a couple friends, and a lot of photos.

They all share the screen as they flick through the photos on his phone. 

There are photos of Seokjin with his parents at his graduation. They all gasp at his beauty and Namjoon swoons. “Beautiful, isn't he.” 

There are photos of his apartment, his kitchen and bedroom, there are photos of him with some friends, a pair of siblings and a couple that look sweetly at each other. They laugh at a couple of the pictures that held an exasperated Seokjin as his friends make out in the back. Or the picture where the siblings wore noodle mustaches. Namjoon could almost hear his laugh from behind the camera.

“He left this for us, this is him. The happy him.” 

There’s a video on the next slide and they all get closer to the screen.

Namjoon presses play. The video starts with the siblings as they wrestle around in a dorm room, Seokjin’s laughter making the room light up as his soulmates laugh with him.

The next video is of the couple at the library. The video starts with the two males blowing each other kisses from either sides of the room. They were playing a game of hide and seek and they're just about to get caught by the librarian until Seokjin makes them run out of the building. Laughter all around him, as they run past the librarians angry stare.

The video after that has the camera on the siblings as they study on the floor of some bedroom. The girl catches him filming them and quickly snatches the phone, turning the tables and filming Seokjin. The male sibling laughs and questions the blushing boy, “How does it feel to have the camera on you for once.” Seokjin laughs and stares straight into the camera with a pleasant smile, shaking his head lightly, almost directed at the six soulmates.

They watch as they make him answer ridiculous questions that leave them in stitches. Then a serious question is asked.

“So Jin, tell us. If your soulmates were all watching this right now. What would you say to them?” 

The room gets heavy fast. They all inch closer to the screen.

“Well. I would tell them that I miss them. That I miss six strangers that I’ve never met before. That I'm sure that they feel the same way. I would tell them to be patient, to be kind to time. It works hard for us. So be kind to it. Because you only have so much of it. It’s pointless to feel hatred towards the passing of time, moments, memories. Be confident, but not arrogant. Trust in others, and learn to let go. I would tell them that it's okay to have six strings. That it’s okay that you have each other. Because that’s what you were made for. A perfect fit for each other. Never forget that as long as you’re together, you’re stronger. You’re invincible. I would tell that that I love them and I’m already proud of them.”

He stares at the camera for a few seconds. Staring at them. 

Namjoon switched off the phone. The noise of the video disappearing and being replaced by the sobs of his other soulmates. 

“He never once said ‘us’. Only ‘you’ and ‘you’re’. Never. Never us.” Taehyung voices what they all heard. What they fear. 

_Seokjin gave up on them. They failed him years ago._

Namjoon jolts when the screen lights up with a notification. He looks at the tiny screen, without his glasses, it's a pointless act. 

Hoseok takes the phone, “It’s a message. From someone named ‘MJ’.”

Namjoon quickly calls the contact and the phone rings on speaker. 

After two rings the phone answers. “Jin?”

-

**MJ**

we found him 

( _read_ )

  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I SAID THAT MJS SIDE WOULD BE EXPLAINED BUT THE CHAPTER GOT TOO LONG
> 
> Also sorry for all the Namgi btw they are my ult ship ooft
> 
> I hope you liked it. 
> 
> See you in the next chap!


	9. hiraeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I HAVE NO EXCUSES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN THIS LONG TO UPDATE. This is kind of short so don't be mad at me.
> 
> Thank you for all the love I've been receiving, I can't believe how this has over 3K hits.
> 
> also slight TW for non-con elements. Nothing graphic it is merely mentioned, VERY SUBTLY. 
> 
> Love you all so much!
> 
> Enjoy!

**_h i r a e t h_ **

  
  


“So what you’re saying is that Jin is at some hospital because he tried to- ” He cuts himself off. 

Myung Jun leans against the wall of his best friend’s apartment hallway, sliding until he was sitting slumped over his knees. 

He feels like ice is flowing through his veins while also being way too warm at the same time. _What have I done?_

Two faces appear in his vision, both filled with concern and desperation, but he is deaf to the world. He doesn’t hear a thing. 

“MJ, listen to me. Do you have any idea where he could be? What hospital is near the bridge? Somewhere, _anywhere_ that we can look for him. We’re not from here so we don’t have a clue where to start.” The voice on the phone reaches him somehow.

Myung Jun’s mind wanders and glides, remembering whatever he can; birth dates, coffee orders, phone numbers. But no hospitals. 

A phone is placed at eye level and he remembers. 

“The Royal Stuart Hospital is the closest. But the Gradyde Hospital is the largest. One of those two.” He manages to choke out of his dazed facade. 

“Okay we’ll check the Royal Stuart, are you guys okay with looking at the Gradyde?” The deep voice asks once more. 

Myung Jun finally looks up at the two men that silently listen to him and the mystery people behind the phone. They both wear such ugly, concerned expressions that Myung Jun just wants to wrap them up in blankets and not leave their side. 

But he had another job first. “Sounds like a plan. Just call this number if you find him.”

He hangs up and slips his phone in his back pocket, ignoring the hands that reach out to comfort him. He doesn’t have time for it. 

“I’m going to the Gradyde Hospital to look for Seokjin. Just wait here, I won’t be long.”

His voice shakes and the other two men hold onto him from either side. 

“No, Junie. Seokjin is my friend too. And we aren’t separating again.”

His other soulmate hugs him tightly from behind. “You need us just as much as we need you. We’ll go together. Please.”

Myung Jun turns in their arms to look at his second soulmate. His face holds a kind warmth and he falls in love once more. “Of course, love. I won’t leave you, then.”

He was taller than the two of them, but younger and oh so cute. Myung Jun and Jinwoo had found their third and they finally felt complete. Like a weight had left their shoulders. If only they had met under better circumstances.

-

_Jin, I just remembered this story my mother used to read to me at night._

  
  


_Yeah? What was it about?_

  
  


_Don’t quite remember, entirely. It had something to do with some poor kid that spent all his money on toys and snacks and drinks, that he didn’t have enough to buy new shoes. He spent the whole year as the ‘poorest kid’ in school because he didn’t know how to use his money properly._

  
  


_What are you trying to say, MJ._

  
  


_To stop spending money on food, you grot._

  
  


_You’re such an asshole._

-

Seokjin didn’t expect to wake up. 

So it shocks him when he can feel the cool breeze reach his face. His eyes remain shut tight, the light too disruptive for his delicate eyes. His mind flashes with memories of the night before and instantly regrets every second of it. He can easily recognise the strong, almost acidic, smell of a hospital room and he sinks back into the pressed sterile sheets. _Great._ His mind feels like static and his body radiates heat in waves.

He turns his head a little and finds a horrible throbbing travel to the back of his neck. He groans at the ugly sound from the top of his spine and opens an eye when he hears a soft giggle.

“You look like shit.”

He tries to sit up to take in the person that is talking to him, but he flops back pathetically. “MJ, that isn’t very nice.”

His eyes widen when he hears the name. When he looks again his vision is clear and he can clearly see two figures standing at the end of his bed. 

_Oh my god._

“MJ? Jinjin?” He tries to refuse the tears, but they are as stubborn as they’ve always been. The two other males look as guilty as he feels and he softens his gaze at them. 

Myung Jun has blonde curly, almost white, hair. Jinjin wears an almost similar style, but his hair seems to glow in pinks and oranges. They both look like something straight out of a music video. But their drain filled faces and sombre eyes tell Seokjin another story. 

“I look like shit? Have you looked in a mirror lately?” His bitter voice croaks and he instantly starts coughing as Myung Jun runs to his side to help with a glass of water that appears on the table beside him. He sits on the bed to hold him and places Seokjin to his chest as he painfully sips the enchanting liquid.

“What are you guys doing here?” He manages to say after a minute, he hugs his best friend from his side as best as he can and he breathes him in, he still smells the same. “I thought you never wanted to see to me again.” He isn’t mad, just curious. He doesn’t think that there is a single thread of anger left in him.

Myung Jung makes the older male look at him, “I'm sorry that I left you. It wasn’t fair, I know, but I was just so desperate to go find our soulmate that it clouded my reason, made me miserable. Jinwoo chose to come with me and we knew that something was wrong. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you, especially after knowing what you’ve done. We- We knew and when we found him-” He cuts off.

Jinwoo stands by his legs and hangs his head low, and Seokjin is sure that the atmosphere in the room will suffocate them. “What?” Myung Jun doesn’t look at him. “MJ, what happened out there?”

Myung Jun tightens his grip on his waist, “When we found him, he wasn’t in a good condition, per say.”

Jinwoo paces the room in a rough stance, “That’s an understatement.” His voice is low and Seokjin can just barely hear it. “We found him just as he was being taken advantage of by some fucking scumbag off the street. He was so helpless, Jin. We didn’t know what to do.” Seokjin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. _No, please, no._

“We were gonna come straight back, I swear to you.” Myung Jun interrupts Jinwoo’s enraged mumbling. “We were gonna find him and come straight back, but-” He pulls away from Seokjin’s side and he can see the tears that race down his face. “We were gonna come straight back, but he needed our help. After what happened with- with San Ha, he crashed. We panicked and had to take him to the hospital because his bond with us was compromised. We had to look after him. I couldn’t tell you because I was so disappointed in myself. I couldn’t protect _him_ and I left _you_ alone. I was so ashamed. I thought that if I heard your voice, then I would break for good.”

Seokjin feels worse than dirt when he hears his friend speak. He had felt so angry at them for abandoning him, when their soulmate was in so much more danger. “MJ, I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through that. That poor kid. Is he doing okay? Is he with you?” He sits up on his own and the throbbing in his head dissipates. 

Jinwoo feels more relaxed at the thought of his soulmate. “Yeah, he’s doing okay. He’s downstairs in the waiting room. We thought that it would be better for you to yell at us when he wasn’t in the room.” Jinwoo looks insulted at himself that Seokjin does what he’s always done, “Jinjin, come ‘ere.” He makes grabby hands at the younger male and Jinwoo runs to his side and hugs his chest like it was a lifeline. He had expected Seokjin to yell and fight and be so angry. The softness was welcoming and so appreciated. The two lovers were worried sick of how the day would turn out.

“I’m not going to scream at you. Never. Never.” He holds Myung Jun’s hand and places a hand on Jinwoo’s crisp face. “I understand now, why you had to leave, and I’m so proud of you for finding him. He’s safe now. He will always be safe.” He reassures them and they both gleam with the praise. 

“Can I meet him?” He asks cautiously. They both widen their eyes at the question, but they don’t lean away. 

“You want to?” Myung Jung asks expectantly. He had hoped for this moment since he found his last soulmate. 

Seokjin chuckles softly at the question. “If that’s okay with you, yeah. I'd love to meet him.”

Jinwoo bounces on his heels as he races to the door, “Wait right here, I’ll go get him!” 

Seokjin just snorts at the statement. “Where do you think I'm going to go, asshole!” Seokjin laughs harder as the younger male races down the hallway. 

“He knows he’s in a hospital, right?” He asks his best friend. There’s no answer. He looks to his side and his gasps to find his friend crying, silently. “MJ? What’s wrong?”

Myung Jun looks up and hugs him impossibly tighter. “We were so close to losing you, Jin. Why did you do it? Why did you try to-” He just wipes his nose on his sleeve, not daring to finish the sentence. “Why did you cut them?”

Seokjin smiles sadly at his best friend. “I’m sorry, MJ. It was just getting too hard. Living without them was just getting so painful and lasting that I just wanted some kind of freedom, release, I don’t know. I didn’t even realise what I was doing until I was falling. I didn’t want to die. I just felt so scared. But at least I felt something, anything. I just gave up and gave the man that was with me my phone, hoping that he would find my soulmates and give it to them. Which was impossible, I spent so long trying to find them, how would he?” He’s honest with his words, and he thought back to the handsome stranger on the bridge. He seemed so familiar. He wondered if he’ll ever see that man again. 

_Did he call the paramedics?_

_Did he dive after me?_

_I wonder if he found the-_

“He is one of them.” A voice interrupts his thoughts. He looks down at the male stuck to his chest in confusion. “What did you say?”

“Seokjin, the man on the bridge, his name is Namjoon Kim. He’s one of your soulmates.”

And his world goes black once more. He travels back to the small cafe at the end of his block, early light streaming through the window, when he hears a voice behind him.

_“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? It’s an amazing river. But the light catches it so wonderfully from here.”_

He remembers his dimples and sparkling eyes.

“Oh my god, I remember.” He looks at Myung Jun and he holds an emotionless face, almost scared to tell him something, _Weird, we always tell each other everything. We did, that is._

“Seokjin, they’re-”

He isn’t able to finish his sentence because Jinwoo reappears in the doorway. “Jin!”

Myung Jun moves from his spot and skips to the door. 

Seokjin sits up and a smile spreads across his face when a tall male walks into his view. He has round lips and slim eyes. He also has wild coloured hair, only his is a lilac purple. “Seokjin, meet our third, San Ha Yoon.”

He smiles at the nervous boy and San Ha relaxes. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Jin. Although I wish it were in better circumstances.” Seokjin coos as the little bow he does and beckons him to his side. “It’s an honour to meet you, San Ha. And I should apologise for worrying you all.” Jinwoo looks so in love that a strike of pain causes Seokjin to hold his chest.

“Jin, are you okay?” Myung Jun grabs his shoulders. 

Memories flood in his mind. His graduation, His college classrooms, the café, the park, the bridge. “I don’t know, I can’t see anything.” It’s alarming, that his vision is betraying him and his hearing is also starting to fail. “MJ, I can’t see you.” He feels like he should be panicking, but his body is as heavy as lead and his head feels like it’s still underwater. He can’t feel anything other than fatigue.

So that’s where he passes out, on Myung Jun’s chest.

-

_This is the worst idea you've had yet, MJ._

_Hey! Last I checked, you agreed that we could do it._

_Yeah not on the hottest day of the year, you idiot._

_Whatever, you can go back if you'd like. I'm getting a slushie, with or without you._

_Fine. But you owe me a donut when we get there._

_Like hell I do._

-

Seokjin skims through the channels on TV, not really paying attention to the crappy romance dramas. The lanky lilac-haired boy who sits next to him snores softly with his arms crossed and his head resting on the bed.

Seokjin probably worried him. He places a hand on his head softly, and wonders to himself that he really has no reason to feel comfortable around the young boy, yet his silent snores are calming. He doesn’t know what the time is but the lights are dimmed and there is barely any noise in the hallways, except for some soft rhythmic beeping. Myung Jun and Jinwoo are nowhere to be found.

He takes a better look at his room, it’s a private room. It has wooden floors, that scale decoratively along the far wall. The window is large and crystal clear, The television across from him is large and expensive looking. Marble tiles are spread around his bed, to the ends of the large room. If he’s being honest, the whole room looks like it was made for royalty.

_How on earth am I going to afford this hospital bill?_

He winces and chooses to think about the crushing debt later. It was his own fault after all. 

MJ and Jinwoo enter the room with a couple paper bags and he perks up at the small fits of laughter. “Did you bring anything good?” 

The two males whip their heads around at the voice and hurry to the side of his bed. “Jin, you’re awake. Sorry we weren’t here. We were getting food for San Ha.” Jinwoo looks guilty once again and Seokjin scolds him for it. “Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I think I just got a little bit excited before. And besides it’s sweet that you’re looking after him. He’s so cute.”

Myung Jun nods and smiles sweetly at the sleeping male. “He really is. He was so excited to meet you, that he freaked out, thinking you passed out because of him.” Seokjin giggles as best as he could with his dry mouth. 

Myung Jun seems to understand and takes a small bottle of apple juice, which he hands to Seokjin. “We bought you some dinner as well. I wouldn’t make you eat this shitty hospital food. Although they would probably serve you a gourmet meal.”

Seokjin scowls at the sweet liquid. “Yeah, about that, where are we? This seems pretty fancy. I have no idea if I’m able to afford this place.”

“Don’t worry about that now. You’re safe.”

Seokjin feels it too. For the first time in years he feels like he’s right where he’s meant to be.

“SEOKJIN!” A voice passes through the hallways and Seokjin feels his whole face light up. He scrambles off the bed, ignoring Myung Jun’s confused concern, and waits by the end of his bed. 

When they pass through the door he instantly feels so much better, and their relieved faces match his as they run into his arms. “Oh my god, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

Seokjin tightens his arms around their waists and sobs into their shoulders. “Su-Hyun, Chan-Hyuk.”

The siblings take his face in their hands as they check him over like a mother with their child. “You asshole, you scared the crap out of us.” Su-Hyun scolds him with a teary smile. 

They both look like they haven’t slept well in a while and Seokjin feels guilt once more. “Guys, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I should never have yelled at you like that. You have done nothing but be supportive of me and I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

Chan-Hyuk slaps his shoulder slightly, “Do not apologise for anything. It’s okay. We’re here now. Besides there seems to be a whole state waiting for you in the-” He is stopped when a petrified MJ shakes his head violently at the statement. Seokijn doesn’t catch it, but the abruption causes the older man to twist his neck, curiously. “Waiting?” 

Chan-Hyuk gazes at Seokjin once more, “Uh- College, the teachers have been wondering where you’ve been. By the way, good luck catching up on your assessments, drop out.”

Seokjin just laughs and turns to the curious males by the bed, their third still snoring away on the bedside.

“Su-Hyun, Chan-Hyuk, These are my old friends, MJ and Jinjin, and their other soulmate, San Ha.” Their eyes widen as he introduces the strangers to each other, leaving a chorus of gasps in the dust. “MJ, Jinjin, these are the siblings, Su-Hyun and Chan-Hyuk. My new friends.” He feels incredibly warm when they meet, Chan-Hyuk and Jinjin laughing at some dumb joke while Myung Jun hugs the life out of Su-Hyun, whispering sweet words of gratitude and her returning the embrace. 

“Oh my GOD, you guys are so FUCKING loud.” San Ha raises from his position on the chair and stretches. He leaps into a polite bow once he realises there are other people in the room. “Ah! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was here. It’s nice to meet you, I’m San Ha Yoon.” His face flushes red when he hears the giggling of the siblings. 

“Don’t fret. It’s a pleasure to meet you, San Ha.” They give the unsettled boy a small bow in return and he relaxes. 

MJ leads the siblings into the corner of the room, obviously trying to hide their conversation. Seokjin rolls his eyes and San Ha whispers to the older man, “Jin, what do you think they’re whispering about over there.”

Seokjin places a stare at the three that look like deer in headlights. “Well, San Ha. MJ is over there trying to stop the siblings from mentioning anything about _the six men, that were once my soulmates, or how they are all wasting time in the waiting room downstairs_.”

Myung Jun looks up horror and Seokjin shakes his head as he flicks through the television channels once more. “Jin, I was going to tell you, I promise. I was just looking for the right-”

“Don’t bother. One of the nurses told me when you guys were out.” He doesn’t look away from the screen and San Ha retreats to Jinwoo’s side, not wanting to interfere.

“Jin-”

“I was curious, so when you two left and San Ha fell asleep, I went downstairs to look for myself.” Seokjin looks at Myung Jun softly. Forgivingly. He never could be mad at his best friend for long. It was a wonder how he couldn’t stop forgiving his friend. 

“Did you talk to them?”

“Didn’t need to. I have all of you now.”

Seokjin settles back into the bed when he feels a dizzy spell creep up on him. He looks around him and can’t help but tear up at the sight of all his best friends together. He never thought he would witness this moment. 

But there is still that hole.

That missing piece, or in his case, pieces.

He is sure that the hole is filled. With water, or maybe confetti. It’s filled today, but someday it will drain again. He just hopes he will be strong enough next time.

He jumps when a sharp pain blooms across his chest.

“MJ?”

-

_Jin! I met him! We bumped into each other in the science lab, and you would NOT believe how cute he is._

_Oh my god, about time! What's his name?_

_Jinwoo. Jin, he's perfect. He's sweet and funny and honestly kind of short, but he's soooo handsome. He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles like a PRINCE._

_I'm swooning._

_I know! I can't wait for you to meet him._

_I know I'll love him too._

-

“I don’t think I can stay here much longer, Joon. I mean, he’s just upstairs!” 

Jungkook’s desperate voice flows through the waiting room, which is occupied with no one but the bodies of six nervous men. 

“Kook, stop pacing, you’re gonna make yourself sick.” Taehyung comments, pulling the younger male to his lap. “When he’s ready we’ll go see him. I promise.”

The blue haired male wraps his arms around Jungkook’s waist and leans in close to his neck. “I just hope that they're looking after him well.”

Yoongi snorts from across the room. “You’re paying for the best treatment I’ve ever seen, Taehyung. This place seems more like a resort, than somewhere people come to die.”

They all shiver at his words. “Not funny. Got it. What I’m saying is that they’ll take good care of him, Tae.”

Namjoon looks at Jimin who occupies his lap and frowns at the shaking hands that cling to his shirt. “Jimin?” He whispers into his ear. The small male looks up innocently at Namjoon and he moves closer to his chest. “I’m okay, Joon. Just kind of cold.” He smiles, sweetly.

Almost immediately, Yoongi moves from his position on the couch next to them and swings his coat over Jimin and Namjoon, stopping for a kiss by the dimpled male. “Thank you, Yoonie.”

Yoongi grins softly as he moves back to the couch and once again places Hoseok’s sleeping head in his lap, careful not to wake the tired boy.

“Any day now, we’ll be together. I promise you.”

The silence was peaceful, relaxing and Namjoon was grateful for the rest.

He thinks back to when they had first talked to Myung Jun.

-

“Jin?”

They boys freeze at the nickname. “No, this is Namjoon Kim. I’m one of his soulmates.”

The strange voice at the end of the call laughs in relief, “Oh thank god. I’m so glad he found you. I’m Myung Jun or MJ. I’m sure he’s told you about me. Unless he’s pissed at me? Which is fair enough, I guess. Is he doing okay? Are the rest of you there? How has he been?” 

The questions become too much for Namjoon to focus on, so Jungkook takes the phone, “Hi there, MJ. Yes the rest of us are here, you’re on speakerphone.” The boys share a chorus of tired ‘hellos’. “I’m Jungkook, his youngest. MJ, it’s a little more complicated than you think. Listen- god, how do I say this?- Seokjin cut his strings about a month ago and we’ve been trying to find him since.”

Silence. “He did what?”

Jimin takes the phone, “Hello this is Jimin. Yes, he cut his strings. And tonight Namjoon found him at the bridge, he tried to- he tried to-” He cuts himself off.

“No he didn’t. He wouldn’t.” MJ seemed to be in denial. “Wait, how do you have his phone? Who is this?!”

Yoongi grabs the phone, “MJ, listen to us. Seokjin jumped from the bridge in his neighbourhood. Namjoon was on a walk when he found him. He tried to stop him and Seokjin gave him his phone. He saved him from the water and once the EMTs took him to the hospital, Joon’s been trying to figure out which hospital he would be at.”

Myung Jun chokes on the other side of the line. “Oh god, so what you’re saying is that Jin is at some hospital because he tried to-” 

  
  


“MJ, listen to me. Do you have any idea where he could be? What hospital is near the bridge? Somewhere, _anywhere_ that we can look for him. We’re not from here so we don’t have a clue of where to start.” Hoseok sounds desperate now, needing answers.

“The Royal Stuart Hospital is the closest. But the Gradyde Hospital has more facilities. One of those two.” The voice chokes out. Jungkook and Taehyung already have their phones out and search for the two hospitals. Taehyung lifts his phone to Yoongi’s view.

“Okay we’ll check the Royal Stuart, are you guys okay with looking at the Gradyde?” he asks the distressed male.

After a moment, Myung Jun responds. “Sounds like a plan. Call this number if you find him.” And he hangs up.

The boys sit in silence for a second until they all leap from the bed, reaching for their coats and shoes.

No one says a word on the ride, Yoongi places his palm in Namjoons free hand, “We’re gonna find him. Together, right?” He wants to reassure himself more than anything that Namjoon won’t leave them. 

Namjoon faces him, “From now on, always. I promise you.” Yoongi huffs a breath he doesn’t know he was holding, grateful for the man that he is holding. 

-

“God, it’s too quiet. I’m getting junk food, where’s that vending machine?” Taehyung sets himself on his feet, ignoring the scold from Yoongi, who worries for his health. 

He turns the corner and once again the silence settles over them.

Namjoon remembers searching the hospital and finding nothing, until he got a message from Myung Jun. He found him. He remembers driving at dangerous speeds to reach the hospital, and finally meeting the smaller male and two other people. He remembers being stuck into the waiting room, despite desperate pleas. He remembers meeting a pair of siblings, Seokjin’s friends. He remembers the silence.

It’s peaceful.

Until it isn’t.

In a second, there is a sharp pain in their chests which shakes even Hoseok from his lead-like slumber. 

It’s almost crushing and it sends the six males into spasms as they grip to each other, “Joon, what’s happening?!” Yoongi struggles to say. 

Namjoon knows, he always knows.

_Not again._

_Not this time._

“It’s him. Something’s wrong.” 

Jungkook runs to the corridor, “Taehyung!” He pulls the man back into the room, “I’m fine, Kookie. Joon?”

Namjoon pulls Jimin closer to his chest and carries him to the front desk. “Joon?” The small male questions.

_I know. I know._

The woman is on the phone and she smiles kindly at the pair, until she sees the look in the Namjoon’s eyes. “Give me a second, Drew.” She speaks into the phone, eyes not leaving Namjoon’s.

She hangs up and jogs to the other side of the desk. “Is everything okay? What happened?” See eyes the other four males behind the pair, all pale and sweating. Namjoon sets Jimin on his feet and pulls him tightly against him. 

Hoseok speaks up, “We were just in the waiting room until we started feeling pain in our chests, our soulmate is here and we don’t know if he is okay.” 

Her eyes widen at the statement, “You’re all soulmates? The seven of you.” They nod and she places a shaking hand on her lips.

“Your strings are still intact, yes?” She sounds desperate and her hands start to shake. 

Taehyung shakes in Jungkook’s arms, “No, ma’am. He cut his connections about a month ago.” He answers for his elders.

She pales and turns to the large staircase. “Follow me.”

She starts a light jog and the boys try their best to keep up with the small woman. “What’s his name?” She sounds very professional and Namjoon wonders if she’s as close to a breakdown as they are. “Seokjin Kim.” 

She speaks into the small device that hangs from her waist. “ICU - V.I.P. unit. Is there a Seokjin Kim in your care?”

The device reverbs and a silk-like voice makes an appearance, “Uh-yes, ma’am. He is currently being taken to OR, as he has stopped breathing and has mixed colouration in his eyes and skin.”

The boys nearly scream at the news and they change direction with the woman that leads them. “Thank you. Report to ‘Delta’ within the next two minutes.”

She places the device back on her waist, and huffs an aggravated breath. “What does that mean? What’s happening to him?”

She slows down to match the boy’s comfortable speed and sighs, “They have to take him to the operating room to get him breathing again. The decoloration is probably due to the lack of oxygen, caused by the fluid that’s accumulating in his chest.”

“What does that mean?” Yoongi asks.

She looks back at him with a painful expression and Jimin sobs just from the look. 

“It means he’s drowning in his own body.”

-

“MJ?”

When he hears his name, he turns and a weight is suddenly crushing him, because Seokjin is almost yellow and his eyes are watering. “MJ, I can’t see anything.”

“Seokji-” Su-Hyung starts but is cut off when Seokjin suddenly slumps, lifeless.

The male starts to jerk violently, causing Jinwoo and San Ha to move to the back of the room. “MJ? What’s happening?!”

Myung Jun calls for a nurse and they are all suddenly aware of where they were. They weren’t at his house, hanging out. Or out with some friends at a pub. They were in a hospital because their friend had nearly drowned. 

“Sir you need to leave the room.” A voice behind him shakes him awake. 

He instantly flares up in defense, “I’m not going fucking anywhere.” 

He gets dragged by his boyfriends and he shuts down because his best friend is right in front of him, dying. 

_He’s dying._

“He’s dying.” The voice he makes sounds foreign. Not him, and it scares both his boyfriends and the siblings.

-

He paces the hallway, ignoring the worried gazes from the other four. “This is stupid. Why can’t they just say if he’s okay or not? It’s not that hard.” 

They hear loud footsteps down the hallway, and Myung Jun sprints into Namjoon’s arms once they are close enough. “They won’t tell me anything, Namjoon!”

Jinwoo and San Ha glance at each other and choose to ignore the small jealous feeling at watching their soulmate sob in another man’s arms. 

The woman leads them all to a small room with seats and makes sure to have them all seated and hydrated. Myung Jun doesn’t leave Namjoon’s side and San Ha tries not to scream. Jinwoo leads him to the other side and places him in his lap, protectively. The siblings sit hand in hand in silence in the corner of the room looking anywhere without really seeing anything. Seokjin’s soulmates all crowd around the middle. 

No one speaks. Too scared or too tired, no one is sure.

She grabs her device once more and orders into her small device, “Can we get news out in Waiting Room Ten for Seokjin Kim, please? Thanks.”

Some shuffling can be heard on the other side of the door after a few minutes and two women walk through. “How’s he doing?” The woman asks the two.

“He’s alive.” Myung Jun slumps against Namjoon when he hears the update about his friend. His stomach twists and his lungs finally start breathing again. _He’s alive._

Seokjin’s soulmates cheer softly to themselves. 

_Thank god._

“But,” One of the women comments, “He’s deteriorating fast. And the doctors here have no understanding of why. We are aware of his attempt of drowning but is there anything that has happened in the past week, or month, to make him this weak?”

They’re almost scared to answer. Scared of what the reaction will be. 

Namjoon swallows the heavy static in his throat, “We are his soulmates, the six of us. About a month ago he cut his strings which sent us all to the hospital.”

“No. He didn’t go to the hospital.” Myung Jun interrupts. They all look at him in shock.

Hoseok faces Myung Jun and hold onto Jungkook’s waist tightly. “He didn’t? We all collapsed with blood pouring from our ears, he didn’t get affected at all?” 

Myung Jun winces at the question and the redhead immediately regrets asking it. It takes him a moment to open his eyes. 

“You might of gotten treatment, but according to his grandparents, he was passed out on his kitchen floor covered in his own blood for over three days.” His words are bitter, angry. At who, no one is certain. 

Jimin finally pukes in the bin below the far side of the wall as Taehyung and Namjoon cover their mouths. Hoseok and Yoongi stay frozen in place, unsure of what to say.

Jungkook seems to be the only one not fazed. “You’re telling me that no one checked on him for three days?” Now he’s pissed. He hates the image he finds in his head of his soulmate lying unconscious on the cold tiles. Alone. 

The two women glance at each other and leave the room. “We’ll be right back.”

“Where the fuck were you three? Or you two for that matter?” He continues as he points to the siblings and they only look down in shame. They know this already. They should have checked on him. _They should have been there._

Jinwoo begins to get defensive for his boyfriends and San Ha looks incredibly guilty. 

Namjoon wraps his arm around Jungkook’s chest, bringing him flush to his own. “Kookie, please. Take care of Jimin while I talk to them.”

Jungkook listens to his soulmate, and lifts the dizzy boy into his arms, holding him close to his chest as he sits them down by the end of the room. 

Hoseok grabs Taehyung and Yoongi by the wrists, and drags them to the sitting males. 

“I’m sorry MJ. Kookie gets over protective of us sometimes. He doesn’t mean any harm, he’s just worried.” Myung Jun waves his hand in dismissal and sits by his soulmates. “Don’t worry about it, Joon. I’m the exact same.” He snatches San Ha’s hand and places a soft kiss between each knuckle. 

It’s sweet, Namjoon thinks.

He can’t help but want to do that with Seokjin’s hand too.

And he will. Once he wakes up. 

  
  


**MJ**

i found him

he’s in the emergency unit at Gradyde Hospital

can you get here soon?

  
  


yeah

give us five minutes. we will meet you out front

  
  


hurry 

_(read)_

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOFT so Jin's alive. OR IS HE :^) 
> 
> We got the background for MJ, Jinwoo and Sanha lets GOOOOOO
> 
> Next chap is uh 
> 
> painful to say the least.
> 
> Goodluck lmao
> 
> Thank you all again.


	10. bruxism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY HELL IT'S BEEN SO LONG IM SO SORRY
> 
> I've recently came back from a three week holiday in Europe and jetlag has been BITING ME IN THE ASS
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and don't hate me :)

**_b r u x i s m_ **

Again, Seokjin wonders why or how he keeps finding the energy to wake up. His body feels like it’s trapped under a thousand bags of sand, while his eyes sting with salt and spice. 

He squirms in his bed and finds that he can’t take a breath as there’s something wrapped around his face and arms.

_What the fuck?!_

His breath spikes up in panic and he jumps when he sees the door open.

A nurse walks in the room, “Hello there, Mr Kim. No need to panic. You simply have a breathing tube, which when awake, does cause a bit of discomfort. It’s good to see you awake.” She’s young and has eyes that are similar to crescent moons, and small lips. She places a tray on the small bedside room, and assists in clearing the wires that wrap around his body.

She hands a cup of water to the dazed man, he takes it gratefully and chugs the liquid down. He nearly groans at the cool feeling, as it soothes the back of his mouth.

“What happened? I don’t remember anything other than blacking out.” He gives the glass back to her and she takes it without looking up from her clipboard. “So you do remember that. That’s good.”

Seokjin scrunches his nose at her comment, “Why wouldn’t I remember that?” She waves her hand and continues her questions. 

“Can you feel any tingling, numbness or any kind of discomfort in any part of your body?” Seokjin knows that it’s best to just answer her, then ask her what about.

“I can feel everything. See?” He lifts his legs as best as he can. “I feel like I’ve been asleep for weeks. It couldn’t have been that long, right?”

The nurse sends him a quick and sharp glare, but turns back to her clipboard.

Seokjin grows cold. “Right?” 

She doesn’t answer him and his breath quickens once more. “Miss, how long have I been asleep?”

He is certain that he saw pain flash behind her eyes. 

-

Seokjin didn’t wake up as soon as he had hoped. 

It was almost 18 months until he woke up to the bright lights and loud machines again.

Myung Jun visited everyday, for about a year. Jinwoo and San Ha would sometimes come visit with their soulmate. Sometimes they came by themselves. 

Su-Hyun and Chan-Hyuk visited mostly at night, telling stories of their days from work and University life. Always making sure that Seokjin was being well looked after. Sometimes they brought their mutual friends too, for a quick visit.

As for Seokjin’s soulmates; they barely left the hospital. 

For almost a year, they had basically paid for their own room. Never leaving Seokjin’s side. 

Jimin would cut his hair and his nails, while Namjoon and Hoseok guarded the room like bodyguards, protecting their vulnerable soulmate. From what? No one knew. Taehyung and Jungkook often read to the others, to Seokjin. They sang. Played games. They tried to find anything to distract their soulmates of the man lying, nearly dead on the bed in the middle of the room. 

Yoongi had to go back to their home, and finish up with their jobs and put their stuff into storage. Myung Jun thought it was best that they stayed near, so he gave his key to Seokjin’s house, where he and his soulmates were currently living too. He would understand.

Thankfully, due to Taehyung’s (still unbelievable) wealth. They were able to provide for each other and for Seokjin’s treatment. 

Until they disappeared. After a year, they stopped showing up; along with Myung Jun, Jinwoo, San Ha, Su-Hyun and Chan-Hyuk. 

None of them visited Seokjin for almost half a year. 

The doctors tried contacting the group of missing people. But they were nowhere to be found. Seokjin’s parents refused to see him. It was too hard.

Seokjin’s grandparents were the only ones that visited their grandson. Whenever they could of course. 

Still. It worried the nurses. 

“It happens.” The kind nurse told Seokjin. “Some people start to lose hope. They believe that you’ll never wake up. It’s tragic, seeing year after year, families just wishing for the best, wanting to take them home, and then suddenly, just giving up.” She tears up and Seokjin grabs her hand softly. 

“It must be hard for you.” He watches as she smiles softly. “It is.”

She takes his hand, “Thankfully for you, you woke up around a week ago, been in and out of consciousness, with your mobility and memory intact. Which is more than anyone could hope for, really. It’s a little surprising that you don't remember waking up until now.” She smiles at his and wipes her eyes.

She straightens her posture and retakes her stance by the door. “I will call for your friends again. We hope they’ll answer this time. Let’s try to get you home as soon as possible, yes?”

He nods as gently as he could, fearing that he’ll burst into tears if he moves too roughly. _What home?_

She nods back in response and leaves quickly.

Seokjin is brought back to a world of silence, a world of strong smells and just as intense light. He curls in on himself as he weeps into his hands, finally alone enough to break down his strong reserve.

The violent hiccups hurt his ribs, causing piercing pain through his chest, and he realised that he is thinner than he remembers. _I’ve been asleep for more than a year? Where have they been? Did they finally forget about me?_

He sobs into his hands for almost an hour, not realising when nurses came in to check up on him.

-

_“Yoongi Min. The eldest one after you. He spends most of his time making music, drinking terrible coffee and playing piano.”_

_“Third oldest, Hoseok Jung. A dancer in an underground beat club. Mostly solo but competes in teams too.”_

_“Namjoon Kim. A scholar. Top of all his classes and brilliant with numbers. Although a little shy, his personality comes out when inspired.”_

_“The smallest one, is also a dancer. Ballerino, Jimin Park. Very bouncy character. Soft with the others and loving with his family.”_

_“The blue haired kid, Taehyung Kim, is a model for a national magazine company. Rich and spoilt with love from his fans and family.”_

_“The youngest worries me the most. Jungkook Jeon. Recently graduated with Jimin and Taehyung. Seems to be the most attached to you. Due to the bond’s primal connection of the youngest and the oldest. He is quite attuned to every movement your body makes. Truly a strong reaction.”_

_“Thank you for telling me this, but I have to be honest.”_

_“I couldn’t really care less, MJ.”_

-

“Of course they would give up. It’s what I’ve wanted this whole time.” He tells the nurse a few weeks later. 

She was currently assisting him on his walk around the hospital. He had grown fond of the girl, she was kind and always understood what Seokjin was trying to say, even when he didn’t know himself. She was smart like that.

“You know I can walk on my own, my legs have been fine for weeks now, I'm not going to collapse again.” He tells her in a joking matter. She hits his shoulder softly and keeps to his side, respectfully. 

“I tried calling them again this morning, Mr Kim.”

He stiffens and doesn’t say anything for a while, not daring to meet her eyes. “And?”

She sighs sadly and shakes her head. “Sorry sir, but nothing.” He nods back in gratitude.

“I didn’t expect anything different.” They continue walking in the direction of his room, making small talk and gentle jokes. Seokjin was sure that he knew every inch of the wide corridor. Every stain on the wall. The faces of every nurse as they pass by, smiling kindly. He had grown used to the sterile home.

Once they reach his room, he flops across his bed and sighs dreamily. “Last day.” His nurse hums in agreement as she gathers the rest of his papers. “I'm glad to see you go, Mr Kim.” 

He snorts at her statement and turns onto his stomach. “I’m sure you are.” 

She straightens her back with a guilty expression, her hair flying in wild directions. “Mr Kim, I apologise. I didn’t intend-”

Seokjin grabs her hand softly, “I’m joking, Jeongyeon. I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me. You’ve been my only friend for the past three weeks. It means a lot to me.”

The young nurse smiles apologetically. “I wish they were here too, Mr Kim.”

He lets go of her hand and stretches in his spot. “Don’t stretch while lying down, you’ll give yourself cramps.” He giggles at her scolding and sits up in his bed. 

“Do you have my clothes?” She nods in response and heads out of the room to fetch his belongings.

When she returns, she hands him a large plastic bag that had been sealed tight. He can see his watch, and his favourite shirt, the same he used the day he jumped. It seemed like only yesterday that he was enveloped by the cold water of his beloved river. 

_How could it have been so long ago?_

He gets dressed and sighs when he feels the familiar warmth of the cuffs on his wrists and the rough texture of his favourite skinny jeans. He brushes his teeth in the mirror of his private bathroom, scanning his foreign looking face and body. He’s still as tall as he remembers, and his hair had grown out of its light brown, back to its original black. He should get it cut eventually, wanting the dark colour once more. His skin is surprisingly clear and for once, Seokjin is grateful for the thousands of different medications that he’s ingested the past month. 

He washes his face and clears the counter of any left over water, eyes wandering over his right most finger, the tiny leftover threads from where he cut it.

_Some soulmates, huh?_

He shakes his head, clutches his small bag, and heads out of the door. 

_You wanted this. You wanted this._

Jeongyeon waits for him by the bed and gives him a second bag. “This is it, Mr Kim. Now you’re back to the world of the living. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I never see you here again.” She chuckles and gives him a tight hug. “Good luck, Jin.”

-

The town is busy. Crowded from door to door, filled with people as they mindlessly travel back and forth from unique market stalls. The air is breezy, and the streets are lit up by decorated lanterns that gleam along with the moonlight. 

Seokjin passes many stalls and he finds it hard to believe that he hasn’t been around so many people in so long. The town seems different, a familiar feeling yet new and it excited Seokjin.

He rounds the corner to his favourite coffee shop and he starts getting anxious for the first time since leaving the hospital. 

_What if Sana left? What if everything is different?!_

He hesitates as he grips to the door handle, he notices movement through the glass. 

_It’s okay. It’s been a year, not a century, dumbass. Just order anything and head straight home. No bullshit. Act cool._

He straightens up and practices the fakest smile he can condure, takes a breath, and walks in.

The room is warm and he feels a little more at ease when he sees that the store looks the same, fooling him into a childlike falsehood. 

He walks to the counter and sighs a little when he doesn’t see Sana. Instead there is a pretty male, whose smile lights up the room.

“Hello there, Sir. What could I get for you today?” He asks politely and Seokjin scowls at the use of ‘sir’.

“Yes, can I just get a latté with-”

“A pump of caramel and ice.” The voice is familiar and it makes him smile, although it seems quiet and unbelieving. 

Sana appears to the male’s right with her hair in a tight bun and light makeup on her delicate face. Her wide eyes hold the beginnings of starlight and her lips tremble when the land on Seokjin’s thin frame. She excuses the boy and runs to Seokjin around the counter so she can hug him properly. “Jin. I can’t believe it’s you. Awake.”

_Alive, she adds, if only to herself._

He holds her for a second longer and he coos at the tears in her eyes. “Don’t cry, it’s good to see you too, Sana.” 

They talk for a while, chatting away with the news of the world, until the barista at the end of the bench calls out his name. “Seokjin Kim?”

Before he can move, there’s a chorus of gasps behind him.

His confidence completely hits the bottom of his stomach the instance he catches the confused eyes of his six soulmates, as they drink coffee from the table beside the large window. Jimin and Hoseok are curled up in a love seat by the shelves, previously chatting to themselves, Yoongi is sat between Jungkook’s legs on the floor with his phone in one hand and a takeaway cup in the other, as Jungkook cards his hands through the black hair. Namjoon and Taehyung share a table beside them.

They stare back at him with a cool, undesignated glare, and the heat of Seokjin’s body runs down his spine. 

_How did I not see them?!_

Jungkook is the first to react, finally realising exactly who was standing in the doorway, “Seokjin?”

Namjoon leaps from his spot, cautious not to scare the older man, as if his heart wasn’t running a marathon already. “It can’t be.”

Jungkook tears up at the sight of their seventh and he runs, meeting Seokjin in a crushing hug, sending them in a dizzy spin, that seems almost dream-like.

It’s all very dramatic, Seokjin thinks. The slow motion caused by the overwhelming brainwaves that Jungkook’s desperate hugs gives him. The looks of the other customers as they forcefully try to avoid Seokjin’s swinging legs. And Sana, who seems to be screaming into her fists at the ‘adorable’ sight.

It’s all a little too much.

“Oh my god, you’re alive. You’re alive.” The younger whispers wetly into Seokjin’s bruised neck.

“Yeah, and still in a bit of pain.” Seokjin comments. They’re still here.

_Why are they still here?_

Jungkook let’s go of the older male with a small apology, and stands a foot away, still smiling at the Seokjin. The others come behind the youngest and all express their relief to see him awake. _Alive._

_“I can’t believe-.”_

_“They told us-”_

_“It can’t be-”_

Namjoon speaks up, “Seokjin. It’s so good to have you here and healthy and awake. My name’s-”

“Namjoon. I know.” Seokjin interrupts. “And Yoongi, and Hoseok, and Jimin, and Taehyung, And Jungkook.” They still had no knowledge of the small visit he gave them when he was in hospital. How his friend had created almost perfect police files for his soulmates. As they stutter to respond, he finally feels like _he_ caught _them_ in the deadlights, and for once, he was ahead of them.

-

_Seokjin grabbed San Ha’s coat, careful not to wake the sleeping boy as he crawled out of his bed and out the door._

_If he remembered the directions of the nurse correctly, he would reach the small room, across from the elevator soon. He passed doctors, and patients, none really awake._

_Once he reached the side of the room, he froze. This was it. They would finally meet him. Would they be relieved to see him? Would they unite in a gross, sobbing hug? Would it be awkward?_

_Oh for sure._

_It took all of his strength, not to laugh at the thought, and he gathered up all the butterflies in his stomach and turned the corner carefully, still not in sight of the six men that waited for him there._

_The room disappeared and all the air in Seokjin’s lungs escaped him. Because there they were._

_Six strangers that Seokjin recognised instantly._

_Namjoon, the angel that saved him._

_The pianist with striking eyes._

_The dancer who radiates warmth._

_The one who’s hair glowed in blues and greens._

_The singer with the smile of a child._

_And the smallest of them all, pink haired and giggly._

_He placed a hand on his chest right above where it started to tighten. They were the ones he had dreamt about._

_That’s why he was so drawn to them, in only a matter of seconds, he would finally meet the people his soul was connected to for his whole existence._

_“This is such a waste of time!”_

_And the room returns, the cold, dreary walls and the loud buzz of the vending machine._

**_Waste of time. Waste of time._ **

_It rings in his ears, and brands in his heart. Waste of time._

_“Jungkook, stop screaming someone will hear you!”_

_Seokjin’s heart beats so violently against his chest, he worries that the other men will hear it through the wall._

_Namjoon brings the pink haired boy closer to his chest, softly caressing his face as the others try to calm Jungkook down._

_“He’s not well, we need to take him home.” The pair by the far wall sigh and Seokjin’s heart burns when he sees them bring each other closer. What’s wrong with him?_

_He wants to take a step forward._

_“Believe me when I say, no one wants to be here, Kook.”_

_He runs to his room as quickly and quietly as possible._

_Waste of time._

_Don’t want to be here._

_Leave then._

_Leave._

_Leave._

**_Leave._ **

-

They expect him to say something else.

He doesn’t.

He simply turns, thanks the barista for his coffee and walks past them without a second glance.

He can feel their desperate glances at the back of his head as he walks out of the small cafe after bidding Sana a brief farewell. He tries to keep the harsh tears inside him until he reaches his apartment, not wanting to show his emotions to anyone near him.

_If they think I’m going to just forgive them like that, they are going to be very disappointed._

-

The six stare as the man walks away from the store in confusion and disappointment. They had expected a different reunion with their remaining soulmate, who right now, seems colder than the snow that falls slowly outside. Hugs, maybe a few tears. Not this. Not withdrawn and stony. _Cold. Not this. Not this._

Jimin turns away first and faces back to his spot on the small couch. “He’s alive. He’s alive.”

Taehyung tries to choke down his tears as Namjoon holds him to his chest.

Yoongi speaks up. “What the fuck just happened?”

Hoseok gapes his mouth like a surfaced fish, not being able to find any words, or sounds to leave his tongue.

Jungkook panics.

_No no no. Not again. I can’t lose him again._

He breaks down right in the middle of the busy coffee shop, not giving a single care about the distraught faces around him.

They had all mourned for their seventh. Believing him dead, lost from them forever. So when they got that piece back, what were they supposed to feel?

_I’m not losing you again, dammit._

Jungkook bursts out the door. 

-

_“This is such a waste of time!” The tired man exclaimed._

_Namjoon shushed his soulmate. “Jungkook, stop screaming someone will hear you!” He reaches his hand to cover Jimin’s ears and sleeping face, careful not to wake him up._

_They were frustrated. Anxious. The youngest, apparently more so. “He’s not well, we need to take him home.”_

_Yoongi sighs, knowing with all his heart that Jungkook was right. Seokjin needed to be with them. It was the only way for him to begin healing._

_“Believe me when I say, no one wants to be here, Kook.” Hoseok reminded the boy, and he settled down. Taehyung brought Jungkook to sit with him, bringing his hand to his lips. “We’ll bring Seokjin home soon, I promise.”_

_They all hated promises, especially ones that were so obviously pointless._

-

Seokjin glides towards his apartment, lost and a little dazed. The small contact he had with his youngest soulmate, caused a rush of feeling back into his skin, thought to be lost for good.

_I don’t understand. Why did his touch affect me so much?_

His vision fades and he has to stabilize his balance by leaning on the brick wall beside him. The air is thinner, the lights become too much to bear.

_I need to get home. Now. Now._

The people seem to miss him as he pushes past the tightly packed crowds of the markets. Children scream in excitement, the drunk laugh and woman chatter, all too much for the throbbing in Seokjin’s head. 

As he leaves the most crowded area, he feels something grab his arm above his elbow. 

His panic spikes and he yanks his hand back, trying desperately through tear glazed eyes, to identify the mystery grabber. 

“Seokjin?” Her voice is small and her eyes wide. Unbelieving, _again_. 

“Su-Hyun.” His voice cracks and he ignores the stares of the strangers around them, unnerving and desperate. 

Her brother catches up to the girl in a matter of seconds, out of breath and out of mind.

“Su-Hyun, what in the hell-”

He pauses and Seokjin nearly throws up in his mouth. They both carry the same shocked face his soulmates did. _Confused._

_No more. No more._

Ignoring the worries yelps of his friends, he pushes past the last of the people. _Away. Away._

_-_

Jungkook rushes past people, eyes darting in every direction, desperate to find his soulmate.

“Jungkook!” There’s a voice ahead of him. He runs into the siblings, and they lead him to his apartment where they saw him run off to.

He reaches the apartment block, searches for any type of sign, a sound. Anything to let him know where Seokjin was. He looks to Seokjin’s apartment level and hears frantic feet echo on the tiled flight of stairs.

-

Seokjin reaches the apartment block and thanks whatever god is out there, that there's no one in sight, that it is quiet and cold and _away._

He runs up the stairs to his door and reaches for the spare key under the potted plant in the corner of the corridor. 

He’s just about to twist the handle, when he hears laughing from inside.

-

Namjoon was strong; mentally, physically and socially. Emotionally? Forget about it. He gets desperate, he panics and becomes irrational, _very quickly._

So when Jungkook glides past the door he becomes conflicted. Does he run after his oldest and youngest? Or does he stay back for the others.

A stern glance from Yoongi, tells him that he feels the same.

“We’re following him. Let’s go.”

-

He stands as still as the dead, and listens to what seems to be Jinwoo and San Ha, as they giggle about some actress on the screen.

Something inside Seokjin burns and his vision blurs.

Not only are they in _his house,_ they seem completely unaware that their ‘friend’ was awake and _alive_.

He grips the door handle, almost ripping it off its hinges as he pushes past the entrance, and with a loud thud of the door, his friends jump from their spots on the couch ahead of him.

“What do you think you’re doing in my apartment...”

-

Jungkook stops when he hears someone call out from behind him. Namjoon and the others reach him just as he heads into the block.

Taehyung and Hoseok look puffed, while Yoongi and Jimin grip each others hands. The siblings run just behind them too, determined and just as confused as the rest of them.

“He’s heading home. He’s upstairs.” Jungkook tells them. There’s an angry shout from upstairs and they whip their heads in the direction.

“Here we go.”

-

A noise wakes Myung Jun from his nap. He jolts in his bed and hears a voice, something he only hears in the darkest of nightmares, deep in his mind.

  
  


_“...What do you think you’re doing in my apartment...”_

  
  


He tries to ignore it. He knows, he can feel that it’s not real. His best friend was dead. _It can’t be._

  
  


_“...Jin, you’re alive?...”_

  
  


That, he knows is real, the sweet voice of his youngest soulmate.

  
  


_“...I’m not gonna ask you again. What the hell is going on?…”_

  
  


Time is irrelevant, he had found out. The day that the doctors told him that his best friend would never awaken, was the worst, and the hardest, because he understood. They had no more time.

He had taken those precious memories, all of their _time,_ and wasted it. Deeming them fruitless.

_“Time is so kind to us.”_ Seokjin had often said. He was hopeful and he was wrong. 

Time was kind and giving and accepting and patient.

Time gave him Jinwoo and San Ha.

_Bullshit_.

Time killed his best friend.

-

When the six soulmates reached the top of the stairs, they were welcomed with an open door and sobs from inside the farthest room.

“Jin, please you have to understand. They told us that you were basically dead, that there was no chance of you surviving, let alone waking up.” San Ha tries to explain, teary and shaky.

Yoongi closed the door behind them and they were all there, except for Myung Jun.

Seokjin hears the approaching footsteps and spins in his spot to find himself surrounded by his ex-soulmates and his friends, circling him as if scared he’ll bite.

Which he _is_ willing to do the second one tries to touch him. Hoseok and Jungkook’s fingers ache to hold him, but they knew better than to make him angrier. 

“Seokjin?” The voice is small and rushed and dazed. Seokjin spins again and comes one to one with the pale and thin face of his best friend. 

He places his hand on Seokjin’s cheek, and searches his face for anything that could lead him into knowing if he was dreaming or not. “You’re alive?”

His hand gets slapped away and Seokjin steps back. “Why do you all keep saying that? I was never dead to begin with.” He whispers violently.

“Jin-” Namjoon tries, “No! Why do you all suddenly care if I’m alive or not?” His breath is numbing, and the drumming in his head has returned, causing his vision to blur and his legs to shake.

Su-hyun steps out of her hiding place behind Jimin and holds her ground in front of Seokjin. “We never stopped caring, Jin. We visited nearly everyday, hoping to see you awake and happy or even sad, angry. Anything. We just wanted you awake. But that day, one day, they told us you weren’t going to wake up. As hard as it was for you, it was just as hard for all of _us_.”

Seokjin feels a tear run down his chin and pool at the trim of his shirt as he stares down into the floor below him. 

“What about all the calls the hospital made. Did you get any of those?” He whispers sadly. 

Jimin shys away when he attempts to explain. “We got them. At first they were updates of how you were doing. Letting us know of any change. But slowly the calls started to become more, I don’t know how to say it, uh. The doctors started asking for information that they could basically sell to the press. After all, you are the soulmate of the most popular pianist and model in the country. It just became too hard to talk about you like you were dead. To sell our story when we hadn’t really even met yet. I’m so sorry, Jin.” Tears leak from his eyes that he paws at softly. 

_Okay, fair enough._

“I get it. That would have sucked. But I’ve tried to call with my own phone countless times too. To all of you and I got nothing back. Explain that.”

He’s growing more and more anxious with every face that looks his way. But he tries to stand strong. 

“They called us using your phone once too,” Taehyung comments with an agonising expression. “Used it to trick us into thinking you were awake. It hurt so much more when we thought it was you. So we had to block your number and those of the nurses and doctors. We just couldn’t take the pain.”

Seokjin avoids Taehyung’s desperate gaze and stares at the floor once more. 

_Was that always the colour of the floor?_

“You gave up.”

Namjoon steps in and peeks under Seokjin’s fringe. “No, we didn’t give up, we just had to accept it.” 

It’s silent, making sure that Seokjin has time to process it all. Until, he speaks.

“That’s a real nice sentiment, Taehyung, Namjoon. Too bad I stopped caring about your bullshit excuses.”

Pin drop. Finally aware of just how angry Seokjin really was. Jungkook chokes up and Jimin and Taehyung cling to their older soulmates. Namjoon steps back in shock and Su-Hyun reaches for her brother.

He continues, to their dismay. “So. I’m gonna ask one last time. What the _hell_ are you all doing in my house.”

Taehyung steps up again and drags himself in what almost looks like shame. “That’s my fault again, Jin. When you were in hospital, your lease ran out, and because we needed somewhere to stay, MJ, offered to let us live here with him as I could afford the rent.”

Seokjin’s breath feels hot at his statement, clearly not seeming to care to his best friend that it was still _his_ house, and that he had no right to give it away so easily. “Oh, well that’s _real_ generous of him, huh?” Taehyung winces as he realises that his words were the wrong ones to use. Myung Jun glares lightly, knowing the wrong he had did. Didn't mean he was willing to admit it.

Seokjin is calm. Too calm. 

No one says anything and something in Seokjin clicks. “It was you, wasn’t it? You paid for my hospital treatment, right?” Taehyung stares at him and doesn’t answer. 

He glares at the siblings who look guilty of the same act and he explodes on them too. “What? You two had the honor of paying for my fucking College fund too?!”

Su-Hyun gasps and her brother’s face explodes with irritation. “Fuck this. Su-Hyun, let’s go.” Chan-Hyuk grabs his sister’s wrist and drags them out to the front door, just before Seokjin sits at the end of his table and ignores the cries from his friend.

“Yeah, it was _real_ good seeing you, thanks for coming!” The sarcasm is almost burning with Seokjin’s rage and it bothers even Jimin who’s barely fazed by anything. The door closes behind the siblings and the air thickens.

“ _Enough_ , Seokjin. This has to stop.” Myung Jun snaps. San Ha tries to calm him with a hand to the shoulder, but his soulmate just shakes it off, determined to make his best friend listen to him.

Seokjin just laughs darkly. “Excuse me?” Hoseok tries to step towards his distressed soulmate, but Seokjin sends him a warning glare. _Don’t you fucking dare._

Myung Jun’s eyes seem almost foreign and Seokjin chokes when he feels the heat of them. “Jin, I don’t understand why you _insist_ on pushing all of us away. Yes, we stopped visiting you, we all did. It was too hard to see you like that! They told us you were as good as dead! How do you not understand that? Up until, what, an hour ago, we thought that you were dead. Give us a break.” He starts shaking, but refuses to cry. _Not now, not now._

Namjoon glares at the blonde, enraged that he would dare upset Seokjin more.

Seokjin sits up in his spot and stares down his friend. “So what? That’s what you’ve always done, ran off when shit got too difficult, abandoned me when I needed you the most. I will not expect anything more from you. Don’t give me this pitiful speech when I know that if it came down to it, you would choose those two over me, anyday.” He points to Myung Jun’s soulmates that look as guilty as they feel. 

That’s when he breaks.

Tears that he saved up for weeks, months, years, all crash down on him and he feels like he is more underwater than the day he jumped. His soulmates weep at their eldest soulmate, and want nothing more than to hold him, to kiss him, wish for him to let them in. Myung Jun instantly regrets getting so worked up once he sees his friend sob into his shaking hands. 

“What was the point of this? To make me forget everything you put me through? To get forgiveness? Tell me? What more could you want from me?” He doesn’t seem to be talking to anyone in the room, causing the worry in the apartment to increase. 

Hoseok speaks up. “Jin, please. We don’t want to see you like this. We don’t want to cause you more pain. We never wanted this. You have to believe me, we would never leave you. We never tried to get rid of you. We have all loved you from the minute we were born.”

Flashes of memories past his mind, of every second, every morning and evening, when he was the loneliest. Or heartbroken, or excited, cheerful. The tug of his strings were there to get him through it. They encouraged him, and taught him and scolded him. His whole life.

Which must explain why he feels so cold inside. So broken. Lost. 

Seokjin _hears_ the words, his _heart_ doesn’t. “Get out.”

Hoseok startles for a second and Jimin reaches for Seokjin. “Jin, please-”

Seokjin rises from his spot and points to the door. “Get out, now.” His voice is calm, but it makes all men in the room shudder. “All of you.” He refuses to look at any of them, insistent on staring down a stain in his dining room table. San Ha grabs onto Jinwoo and Myung Jun. Seokjin can feel the fear in his eyes.

“No.” 

Yoongi moves from his spot on the counter, standing directly in front of his soulmate. “We’re not leaving.”

At the close proximity, Seokjin becomes dizzy, and Yoongi has to step back to give him room to stand. “We are not leaving until you say to our faces that you don’t love us.”

“Yoongi, please-” Seokjin tries. Yoongi almost growls and pushes the other male to talk. “Say it!” 

At that, Myung Jun and Jinwoo reach for Seokjin as he topples to the side. “Yoongi, that’s enough.” Namjoon warns him. Jungkook reaches for Jimin and Taehyung, and Seokjin notices the two crying silently.

_How did it come to this?_ Namjoon thinks. 

Seokjin looks back hazily to Yoongi who has his back to the eldest, choosing to face the other way.

“I don’t.”

Yoongi turns with an angry expression. “You’re a fucking liar.” He states as Hoseok holds him back.

Seokjin hardens. “I don’t love you. I never did.” His heart burns at the lie, but his lungs insist that he needs air. _Get them out. Get them out._

“Yoongi, stop.” The redhead whispers, helplessly. “NO! I know you’re lying, Seokjin! Because no matter what you did to the strings, it means nothing! I can feel you, and I know that you love us!”

Seokjin falls to his side and cries even more. Myung Jun and Jinwoo both try to stop the soulmates from nearing him.

There are voices, shattering glass. He can hear it.

But it’s blurry. All blurry.

Like being submerged once more.

Until there’s a hand. It grabs him and pulls him from the water. 

Seokjin resurfaces and finds himself on the floor with Yoongi wrapped around him, his face trapped against the taller male’s neck. Yoongi is touching him and his skin tingles, warmth. _So warm._

“You feel it, right? Please, it can’t be just me.” The male mutters to himself between sobs. “Jin, you’re breaking my heart.” He sobs.

Seokjin wants to tell him, scream it to them all. _I love you all, more than anything._

But he’s _terrified._

Instead he whispers, “...get out…”

Yoongi freezes and he lets go of Seokjin, instead changing his expression to one of rage. “Stop being so fucking selfish, Jin! Everything that happened to us is because of you! We’re here trying to fix it and it’s like you won’t let us! Do you really hate us that much?! DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA LET YOU DO THIS TO US AGAIN?!”

There are hands, and screams once more. Yoongi gets taken away from him. And the cold. 

**_The cold._ **

“SEOKJIN DON’T DO THIS PLEASE!”

**_I love you._ **

Yoongi sobs, “I love you, Seokjin. Please. What are you so afraid of?!”

And there's no noise.

There are no more hands, no more voices.

The water finds him and he can’t breathe again.

-

When his mind clears, he finds himself slumped against the wall, with his hand bunched up into fists so tightly, his knuckles are almost blue. He looks around and notices how the dining table is pushed to its side, and there is glass everywhere and there is a piercing sound that travels through his head. 

“There you are.” 

The voice is distant, underwater. 

But there’s breath on his nose, so he knows that it’s just inches from his face. “MJ?”

The blonde sits back with his legs propped up in front of him, head leaning on his crossed arms that balance on his knees. His skin is pale and the sweat coming off his forehead doesn’t indicate anything good. “Where’s Jinjin and San Ha?”

“They went home. I told them I would stay with you until you were okay.”

“I’ll never be okay, MJ.” Seokjin says, tries to speak but his voice is scratchy. “What happened to you?” 

Myung Jun shakes his head with a laugh and stares back up at his friend with a grin. “Are you kidding me? Do you know how long it took me to get Yoongi out of here? Dude’s small, but _god_ , he can fight.”

Seokjin reaches for his friend's face, checking for any bruises, and the other male lets him. “He didn’t hurt me. Honestly, he was just desperate to hold you again.”

“He was right. Everything that happened to us, to you guys, all happened because of me. I did this to us and I don’t even know what for. They’re hurting and it’s my fault. I deserve this.” He sniffs. 

They sit in silence and Myung Jun rakes a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand you anymore, Jin. You were always so insistent. So determined to make sure that your soulmates would never feel any pain, that you would protect them, that they would live a good life. What, in god’s name, changed?” 

“What do you mean?”

“ _You’re_ the one choosing to hurt them, constantly. Rejecting them, and choosing to be angry. And for what? What happened?” Myung Jun wonders quietly. 

“You left.”

Myung Jun hisses. 

“You left, and my parents lied to me about it. The siblings broke promise after promise to me. The strings avoided me. Ran around me. College was big. Too big for someone so small. I moved here, with no one to get excited with. No one to celebrate. I was alone, and I realised that I had to be okay with it.” He’s honest. He believes. 

Myung Jun, not so much. He sits back, violently meeting the wall behind him. “Jin, for fuck’s sake. You’re not okay. Look what’s happened to you in the past few years. That mentality, that you have to face everything alone is wrong. It’s telling you the wrong things. There are so many people around you. We’re here screaming, that we would never leave you. That we never really did. That we love you, but it never seems to get to you. You just seem so far out of reach. Too deep.”

He crawls next to his friend, hip to hip against the wall and they just sit there. Together and in silence. 

It’s so familiar, that it hurts. Almost burns. It’s easy with them. It always has been. Spending hours just in each other’s presence. Teasing, and promising to rule the world one day. Even when the world seemed against them, they promised they would fight right back, together. Now the years have passed and the rules have changed. They are no longer children chasing an immature dream. They were adults and they were in trouble. Seokjin knows that it’s his fault. That no one is happy, that they all parade around him, as if walking on eggshells. It hurts, because Seokjin and Myung Jun were used to sharing everything. He can’t find a reason to keep lying. He can’t. 

“I’m sorry, MJ. For everything.” Myung Jun grabs his hand and laces their fingers together, “You have nothing to apologise for. I’ll love you no matter what. You need to know that. Right noe, I'm grateful that I can hold my best friend again. I didn't think this moment would be so overwhelming for me.”

“MJ?”

“Yeah?”

“I love them.”

And there’s a flood, he’s no longer floating helplessly in the river. 

“I love them more than life itself. I always have. I’m just so _fucking scared_ that they’re gonna disappear again. That they’ll get rid of me and leave. I don’t think my heart could take it. I just- I don’t know what I’m _doing_.” His voice cracks pathetically on the last word and his eyes cry dry tears.

Myung Jun stares at him intently. He knows. They all do. Seokjin seemed to be the only one denying it. “You don’t have to know. You just have to learn to trust us again.”

The tears are as hot as the searing in his heart and Seokjin wants nothing more than to submerge into the cold once more. But there’s a hand clamped to his. He looks down and Myung Jun is there. Next to him. 

And he knows that he is okay. 

“I have to talk to them.” 

Myung Jun smiles gently, “Only when you’re ready.”

He knows this. That he is allowed to take his time when it comes to his soulmates. But due to how sensitive the whole situation is, he doesn’t want to wait. 

He can’t wait. 

“I’ve been ready this whole time. Like you said, I have to trust you again. I need them to know.” 

He stands and brings Myung Jun with him, he sways but he feels more anchored than he has in years. 

Myung Jun looks like he wants to say something, but he keeps it to himself. Smiling and proud. 

“What is it?” Seokjin wonders. 

“Nothing. If you’re gonna do something, I suggest you go to them now. They’re planning to leave tonight. You should try to catch up with them, I think they’re crossing the bridge by the main road.” 

Seokjin nods and glances at his best friend. He looks tired. “Thank you, MJ. For everything. I promise I’m going to make this right.” He throws his arms around the others shoulders and holds him there. Tightly and with such a home-like warmth, it makes him hug Myung Jun a little stronger. 

“I’m proud of you, Jin. Now go. Don’t miss them.” Myung Jun brushes him off and leads him to the door. “I’ll be going soon, we’re spending the night at a motel, to give you guys some space. San Ha was getting worried and Jinjin will wonder about how it all went.”

Seokjin grabs his keys and nods. “Thanks. Tell them I said sorry, and I hope they aren’t mad at me.”

“They’re not I promise.”

“Wish me luck, MJ.”

“You got this, Seokjin.”

-

_Cold._

_Then it's hot._

_But so cold._

_There wasn’t a certain moment where I awoke. I was just awake but not really there. My head was lead against the tiles and my feet were as frozen as concrete._

_There was a sharp sound playing through my head. And voices were repeating over and over._

_Laughs, singing, rapping, crying._

_My chest was numb and dulling but my hands were tingly._

_I know this feeling._

_The blood was dried up and had pooled around my head._

_Hot._

_But so cold._

_I could just see my arm stretched ahead of me. I tried to make out the strings. But for some strange reason, they were no longer there._

_Why?_

-

  
  


**MJ**

if feels like I'm going in circles

it seems like my heart

has decided that whichever path I take

it's always gonna be you at the end

all I got is a path

that's in front of me

which I'm wishing

that still leads to you

cause I know I'm not looking back

that's for sure

i know I'm not looking back

that's for sure

_( read )_

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HO HO?
> 
> Jin's finally got his shit back together. 
> 
> See you in the next chap <3


	11. malneirophrenia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the last chapter before the Epilogue! 
> 
> Thank you for all of your support <3

**_m a l n e i r o p h r e n i a_ **

_“We had a dream, when we met. It was super scary but because we were together, it didn’t last very long. You’ll get it too when you meet your soulmates. But don’t you worry, just remember that it’s okay, Seokjin.”_

-

He knows the destination. He always has. All he needed was the courage to run. Run as fast as he could, not away but towards them. 

_What are you so afraid of?_

Just as he’s about to lose consciousness from breathing too hard, he reaches the start of the bridge, and he spots them on the opposite side, nearing their truck. He’ll make sure that they hear him this time. “WAIT!”

He’s made his decision. He won’t let them go again. Not when he’s had them this whole time. 

The six dejected males all twist their bodies so quickly that they nearly trip. Seokjin tries to hold his giggle. Now’s not the time. 

They approach him slowly as he strides to meet them. Jungkook looks so small with his tears running down his handsome face. Taehyung and Jimin are holding hands and seem impossibly close. Namjoon has Yoongi in his arms. Both were too worried to look up at Seokjin. It’s a punch in the stomach when he sees Hoseok stand tall in front of them all.

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m done fighting.” He assures them. 

They are hopeful, confused and Seokjin doesn’t want anything but to hold them all in his large arms. _I’m here._

He begins, “I’m afraid of so many things, Yoongi. I’m afraid of the dark, although I’ve been surrounded by light my whole life. I’m scared of being unwanted and abandoned. I’m afraid of thunderstorms. I’m afraid of geese, because their teeth are fucking terrifying. I’m even afraid of the truth, because who can I hide from when I myself don’t know who is hiding. But most of all I’m-” 

He has to say it. They are looking at him like he holds all the answers of the world. He has to do this for them. 

“I’m terrified of disappointing you. All of you. All my life, all I cared about was that you would be okay. That you needed to be safe. Together. Despite that ugly, lonely feeling that I ignored. I ignored it because I was selfish. It was selfish because I didn’t know you guys felt it too. I thought that you would be happier without me. I thought that was the right choice. You were three pairs, so perfect. Why would you need me?”

He hears a choked sob leave Yoongi’s lips. And he instantly feels bad at making the small male cry. 

“I used to think that my strings were there to taunt me. To tease of a life that I could never have, and they were irritating for only that one reason. But I could never hate it. How could I, when in the end, it leads to you.” 

They are all crying at this point, and Seokjin scolds himself for making them feel worse than they probably should be. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. To all of you. You came all this way, stayed this long, been so patient for me. I know I’ve disappointed you all, and I don’t expect you to forgive me. I know I cut the bond. That was the most selfish thing I could have done. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you too. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, I swear to you. I just hope that you can move on and be happy. I love you all. So much more than words could ever say.” He shakes his weeping form and wraps his arms around himself. He turns from the six men, satisfied with his little speech. 

_This was the right thing to do._

Namjoon speaks up. “You’re the other piece, that’s why.”

He stood frozen with his back against the six. “What?” He turns cautiously and he jumps when he finds Namjoon right in front of him. “You asked us, ‘why would we need you?’”

“We belong together. All of us. Life placed us together and we match. We fit. Like puzzle pieces. And when you threw your piece away, the picture was pointless. Unfinished. So empty. Because you weren’t there. Yes, it hurt like _hell_ when you cut the strings. It hurt us all.”

Shame. Is all Seokjin feels. He’s drowning in it. 

Namjoon catches it and lifts the sorrowed man’s chin with a finger. “But not because of the bond. Not because we were in danger. But because we knew that you were _alone_. We would be okay, yes. But we needed you with us. We still do. And always will. The question is, do you want us?” Seokjin could tell that Namjoon was scared. Of the question and the answer. Namjoon stood tall against him. His chest grazing Seokjin’s, his frame towering over the shorter man. Seokjin found that he didn’t mind it. Having the warmth of this beautiful man, his soulmate so close to him. Watching over him. 

_‘Used-to-be-soulmate’._

Seokjin places the taller man's face in between his long fingers, grazing the soft skin under Namjoon’s cheek bones. “What about the strings? They're gone for good. I’m not your soulmate anymore.”

In response Jungkook hugs him from the back. “We don’t care about the strings. We care about you. We need you. Please. Please come back to us.” He’s sobbing between his shoulder blades. 

Jimin grabs one of Seokjin’s cheeks, turning his head to the right. “We’re here now. And we’re not going to leave you.” Taehyung cups the other side of his face and nods in agreement. 

Seokjin is then pulled into the arms of Hoseok and Yoongi, the short male taking his turn to grab the oldest’s face. 

“Please, Jin. We need you. I need you. Here with us, more than _anything_ .” He isn’t shaking like the others, but the tear tracks shine with the moonlight. This Yoongi looks nothing like the Yoongi from an hour ago. No, _this_ is Yoongi. Soft and small, and so calm.

Seokjin is sure he’s never felt so warm. “You guys really want me after all I’ve done?”

There’s a chorus of groans and ‘oh my god’s as he giggles. 

He hugs Yoongi to his chest and they all cling to each other, as if they would disappear for good. From the past few years, it feels like it could be true. But Seokjin doesn’t worry about past memories. He only wished to remember this moment for the rest of his life.

_You found me. Thank you._

He laughs softly in the space of Namjoon’s neck and feels so incredibly calm that he lets himself enjoy it. “Namjoon, this is where we first met, remember?” 

Namjoon lifts his head and faces the eldest with a soft expression that mixes both pride and love, it’s enough to cause the air to completely abandon Seokjin’s chest.

“Jin- can I-?” He cuts himself off and the others giggle at the flustered man. “What is it? Tell me?” Seokjin grabs his face, checking his eyes for the answer.

The tall male shakes his nerves and holds the man in front of him so gently but firmly by the waist, hoping that Jin would get the message. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Oh. _Oh._

Seokjin’s world turns white and there’s nothing but the loving gazes of the six men that stand in front of him, willing to give him everything, and god knows that he’ll give just the same. 

“Yes. Please.” _Finally, Finally._

Namjoon bursts into a bright smile and hugs Seokjin as close as he can, _finally_ connecting his lips with the smiling man. And _god,_ is it magical. 

The tall man is so gentle, his lips soft and firm and so warm. Seokjin wraps his arms around the other man's shoulders, bringing them impossibly closer. His chest soars and he’s sure he can see gold. 

_I can’t believe this is happening._

The kiss is interrupted by cheers and cat calls from the other men and Seokjin giggles in Namjoon’s chest. 

“You have no idea how long Namjoon’s been waiting for that.” Jimin comments as he wraps his arms around Hoseok’s neck, both of them grinning. Seokjin laughs at the suggestive smiles that decorate Jungkook and Taehyung’s faces, and the scowl of disgust on Yoongi’s face makes him smirk. 

“Oh, so you don’t want to kiss me then, huh?” Seokjin teases. Yoongi’s huffs bitterly and yanks the collar of Seokjin’s shirt as he slams their lips together. 

Seokjin nearly _moans_ at the rough kiss and clamps onto Yoongi’s sweater, holding him by the waist as the other man softens his grip, smiling into the kiss. “This is all I’ve wanted. For so long.” He stares so intensely at the eldest that Seokjin knows that his heart is melting. His chest feeling full again. Yoongi frowns slowly and tears flow from his eyes, as he places his forehead in the crook of Seokjin’s neck and holds him tightly. 

“I’m so sorry for what I said, Jin. That was so unfair. So, so stupid. I’m so, so sorry.” He holds onto Yoongi as tight as he can, and kisses his temple softly. “I’m not mad, Yoongi. You were right, and I only realised what I did, after you told me. Thank you.” Yoongi stares at him in disbelief and Seokjin kisses him softly, letting them both know that it was okay. Letting each other know what they couldn’t say in words.

_I forgive you._

Taehyung reaches for Seokjin’s hand and turns him so they are face to face, hand in hand. “Jin, the day you jumped, might honestly have been the most terrifying day of my life. And I don’t get scared that easily. I was scared because I thought I would never get to tell you that-” He sobs into their hands and Seokjin’s heart breaks at his small sounds. “Tae-”

Taehyung hugs Seokjin with his arms around the elders wide shoulders, keeping his shaking head close to his neck. “I thought I would never get to tell you how much I love you! How much I’ve always loved you! How much I need you.” Seokjin wraps his arms around the blue haired man’s thin waist. Keeping him warm. Safe. 

_I’m not going anywhere._

Taehyung reads his mind almost instantly. “I know. I know.”

A minute later, Taehyung pulls back and wipes the tears out of Seokjin’s swollen eyes. “I’m sorry I made you cry, sweetheart.” Seokjin’s heart flutters at the pet name and he kisses Taehyung’s nose. 

He tries to pull away but Taehyung captures his lips with his. “Not good enough.” Seokjin melts into the desperate, _heated_ kiss and leans on the tall male, feeling lightheaded at the sweet taste. He really does taste of strawberries. 

He resurfaces again and this time, it’s Hoseok that holds him by the hands. He doesn’t say anything for a while, content with just staring at the older man. “How on earth did we get so lucky?” He asks dreamily. The others hum in agreement and Seokjin’s face glows red. Hoseok holds his face and Seokjin’s arms find their way around the dent of the dancer’s hips. “Don’t be embarrassed, love. It’s the truth.”

Seokjin smiles softly at the younger male and wonders how he could still be so warm. 

Hoseok spins them around as he giggles at the surprised expression that Seokjin holds. “I can’t wait to dance with you for the rest of my life, show you that being clumsy and shy is okay, and that we love you because of it.” He holds so much space in his heart for his six soulmates and even if he doesn’t know Seokjin well yet, he knows that he’ll spend the rest of his days loving him.

_You mean more to me than you’ll ever know, Hoseok._

Jimin and Jungkook pull Seokjin away from Hoseok, and he lets them, easily. “Our turn. Seokjin, You may never have known this, but Jungkook and I made a promise to each other, the night we met. That no matter how long, or how hard it was, we would always find you in the end. And we would do it together. But we failed, so many times and I’m so sorry for that, Jin.” Seokjin gasps at his words and his small eyes as they glaze over. He places a hand on Jimin’s cheek, the other male leaning into the touch.

Jungkook stares lovingly at Seokjin, but frowns at Jimin’s words. “Jimin’s right. You have been alone for so long, which is our fault, considering we were the first to find each other. We’re truly sorry.” Jungkook’s so unbelievably guilty that it makes the skin of all the older soulmates go cold. Seokjin grabs both their faces gently and lifts them to his face. 

“Listen to me, Jungkook, Jimin. Don’t ever apologise for falling in love. What happened, was not your fault. What _I_ did to _myself_ , is not your fault. I am not, and never have been, mad at you two for finding each other. It was really quite the opposite.” 

He grabs Jimin’s face and he feels warm. So warm. He places a soft kiss on the other’s puffy, pink lips. It’s sweet, so sweet, that Seokjin becomes dizzy. Jimin jumps on Seokjin slightly and giggles into the kiss. Everything about him screams _soft, and gentle, and sweet, candy candy candy._

He breaks away from the small male and turns to Jungkook who stares up at him with so much adoration that Seokjin doesn’t spend a long time and smashes his lips to the youngest’s, moaning at how Jungkook grabs his waist tightly. Bringing the two incredibly closer. _Closer, closer. I have to get closer._

_Never let go._

_Never._

_Never again._

It’s funny. How Seokjin was convinced that these boys would forever stay out of his reach. But here they were, willing with all their heart to love him. Forever.

“Please. Stay the night. Or the weekend, forever. I don’t care. Just, please don’t go.” There’s a harmonised sound of promises and he smiles gently.

He lets him go and they start walking back to his apartment, Jimin and Jungkook holding either one of his hands, Yoongi and Namjoon walking hand-in-hand behind them, and Taehyung with Hoseok draped across his back, effortlessly. Their pace is slow, not eager to leave the beautiful night.

Seokjin continues a minute later. “You know, for so long, I wondered if I could be the soulmate that you needed. If I could be the one that you came to when you had a horrible day, or just to be there when you needed nothing but cuddles. I wanted to be so much for you, that I lost the fact that I needed you too. All of us need each other and I was blind to it, and I’m sorry that I didn’t find you all sooner.” He giggles at the whine that leaves Jimin’s lips and places a small kiss on his cheek.

Yoongi leaps onto Seokjin’s back and sighs into his ear. Taehyung retreats to Namjoon’s side, once he convinces Hoseok to take mercy on his back. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna have to stop apologising, we’re here now, right? That’s all that matters now.”

And he’s right.

-

When they enter the apartment, Seokjin freezes at the clean and organised room. “What the hell?”

Namjoon and Yoongi find solace on Seokjin’s couch, both sharing a small kiss as Jimin lies across their legs. “You cleaned up pretty quick.”

Seokjin brings the other three to the floor and they all squish together into a tight but so calming, cuddle pile. “I didn’t. Must have been MJ.”

He shrugs. _I’ll thank him tomorrow._

Jimin smirks as he brings the two down to the others and Seokjin only just catches the glint of heat in Jimin’s eyes. “I don’t know about you guys, but I do believe that we have some time to make up for, hmm?”

His growled voice sends waves of heat down Seokjin’s spine, as he nods slightly, as if in a trance. The others giggle and murmur tiny mewls of agreement.

There’s kissing on his neck, and on his nape, and his chest, and then his lips. Hot and fuzzy kisses that cloud his mind and he gasps when he feels the hands, warm hands everywhere and nowhere in particular. They pass him around, eager to feel every inch of his porcelain-like skin, to keep him _warm_ and full. 

They spend the rest of the night on the carpet of his living room, being together finally, as they were always born to. He ends up sore in places he never thought he could be, and there’s still that ringing in his ear, but it doesn’t matter to him. As long as he could always feel Jungkook’s hot breath in his neck, and Taehyung’s beautiful words, and Namjoon’s hands in his, and Hoseok’s smile on him, and Yoongi’s loving gaze and Jimin’s hips flush to his own; he could forget those feelings of pain, and abandonment. Even if only for a night.

By the end of their little night activity, they have Seokjin panting in exhaustion, feeling sticky and hot and indeed _full._

“Damn, that’s one way to reunite.” He laughs breathly. Jimin laughs into his chest and kisses Seokjin’s neck softly. Hoseok kisses his forehead as he runs his fingers through his hair. 

“We love you, Seokjin. Don’t ever forget that.”

There is a chorus of agreeing hums and Seokjin closes his eyes. For the first time in what seems like forever, he can breathe. There’s no more water. No more confetti. And he closes his eyes with the warmth of six voices as they race around his head. 

“I love you too. More than anything.”

Seokjin falls asleep in their hold, and the six others all soften at their soulmate, happy to have the elder in their arms once and for all. There’s something in all of their chests, compared to golden strung candy floss. Filling every little empty crevice left. Feeling complete, and _safe._

Hoseok drifts off into his own thoughts and smiles at an early memory, he once thought was gone forever.

-

_“They don’t tell you this, not when it really matters anyway. It fills you, with heat and with serenity, and causes your heart to burst at the seams.”_

_Hoseok jaw dropped at the horrible declaration. “Why would anyone want that?!” he remembers asking his mother who only giggled in response._

_He had just turned seven, and started to grow curious about his six soulmates. Where they were, what they looked like, if they would like him._

_Were they happy?_

_He could already tell that his soulmates were all males like him. Something only soulmates could feel. That didn’t bother him, he just wanted to meet them. But what his mother was telling him caused a small panic in the small boy. Was it really worth it?_

_“It’s not a bad thing, Hobi. It’s a feeling that’s so indescribable and confusing and elating that you don’t know what’s happening. You only know that you are where you finally belong.” She smiles kindly, something that lost it’s glow after time. Something that Hoseok had not seen for more than a couple years._

_“I hope they will like me.” He whispers softly._

_“I hope that they will feel safe with me.”_

-

When Seokjin wakes, he is no longer in the carpet of his small living room. Instead he lies in the middle of his, now too warm, bed as his soulmates crowd around him in piles of pairs, Yoongi draped over Jungkook, Hoseok between Jimin and Namjoon, while Taehyung is clinging tightly to Seokjin’s side, with his shoulder rested comfortably under Seokjin’s head.

His heart burns with a welcoming amber and the light of the moon shines across his soulmates so beautifully, that he tears up a little. The rays hit in all the right angles, along Jungkook’s sharp jawline, across Yoongi’s pretty eyelashes, bouncing off Jimin’s perfect lips, falling across Namjoon’s broad chest, gliding down Hoseok’s soft nose, and lays across the long fingers of Taehyung, that wrap securely around Seokjin’s waist.

These six perfect men that love him unconditionally, that have always been his.

_This is who they are,_ he tells his past self. _Give them a chance._

He goes to clear his eyes of his sleep but freezes when his eyes land on his smallest finger, wrapped neatly and stunningly in a string, almost a rope of _gold_ thread. 

He pauses. It isn’t possible right? 

He stares at the stings, worried that if he looks away, they’ll disappear. Sure enough, they connect to the six men around him, his mind clears and he can see the gold as it bonds them all beautifully.

His stomach twists and his chest heaves as he weeps silently into his hands. Every lingering emotion, of dread and loneliness, dissolving into the warm night, the cadence of his forced gasps, matching the throne of the gilded string. 

In the end, it didn’t matter if he cut the strings, because no matter what, these six men are all parts of his soul. And as it turns out, they always have been. 

Nothing would ever change that. 

Or so he thought.

-

Jungkook wakes the next day, it’s early morning and the first sheets of light filter through the room. It takes him a couple of seconds for the memories of the previous night to return. Once they do, he smiles and he looks down to where his soulmates rest against his side. 

Except that they aren’t there.

The youngest jumps in his spot and gasps when he finds himself in the interior of his old room. Just as he had left it, with his clothes piling from his desk and his skateboard propped skewed-like by his door. 

He can physically feel his heart drop into his stomach and his blood grows cold. 

“Guys??” His voice shakes and doesn’t travel very far, 

He pushes off his mattress and climbs out of bed. “Jin?! Tae?! Yoon?! Jimin?! Joon?! Hoba?! Where are you?!” He nearly rips his door off its hinges as he attempts to leave his old room in search of the six men. It's locked tight. 

_This is wrong. It feels so wrong. Where are they?!_

-

Namjoon jolts when he notices that he is no longer sleeping with his boyfriends, the blankets are gone and there’s a breeze that wasn’t there before. He glances around and he can immediately recognise the dust covered bookshelves at the city library. 

“No. No no no. NO!” He jumps up and runs to either side of the lined books, meeting no end. His chest aches when the shelves grow further and further away, Namjoon finally realising the shelves wrap around in a loop, trapping him. He falls to the floor after tripping on a book and tries to breathe. “Please no.” He dust from the surrounding shelves faze his train of thought and he stumbles when he attempts to get up, unsuccessfully. 

He looks to his hand, and the strings are gone. 

-

“NO!” Yoongi grips his wrist when he can’t find the missing threads, as tears race down his face. 

The small, wooden stage creeks as he shakily gets up, “No, not again. Please.” He looks around and his weeps fill the silence of the room in echoes. Bouncing and teasing him. He knows this stage, it was the stage that he would have performed on if he did not meet Namjoon and Hoseok. The night of the Gala. The night of the storm. The night he had felt the most unbelievable relief of finding his soulmates, and the night it all came crashing down the second he realised that one was still out there. _Alone._

His voice is small and his head throbs. “Don’t do this to me again, damn it!” he screams into the dark.

His phone! He grabs for his phone and is met with the distressing realisation that he didn’t have a phone until Taehyung had bought him one months into the future. 

“This can’t be happening.”

-

Hoseok falls to his knees onto the hardwood floors of his old dance studio with a panicked face, no trace of colour present in his skin. “This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening. It’s just a bad dream. That’s all it is.”

The room that had once given him haven from the outside, had become a cage, with mirrors covering every inch of the walls. He might not have recognised it, if it weren’t for the scratches of his routine practice in memorised lines.

His mind wanders to his soulmates and he whips his head around again. 

He shakes at the thought of his soulmates going through the same confusion and stress as him and tries to think of some way to get out of his room, anything to be able to get to them. Just to know if they are okay. 

_Did I imagine it all?_

His breath hitches as he screams their names in a heartbroken chant.

-

“Someone answer me! Please!” His voice echoes and bounces through his tiled apartment and it chills Taehyung to the bone. There’s glass surrounding his feet and he feels a couple pieces tickle his fingers. He whips his hand away, as if burned and shakes at the pretty shards.

The apartment had been abandoned but he could just see the footprints of his soulmates as they trace in patterns across the tiled floor. He sobs when he can’t hear anything except for his own breath, and his chest rises and falls rapidly. _No more. Please no more. Anything but the silence, I beg you._

He can’t see past the hallway and his eyes blur when they try to focus for too long. He keeps his eyes closed tightly instead and tries to control his breathing. _I can’t see you. I can’t hear you._

“SOMEONE, PLEASE!”

-

Jimin’s throat burns at his last scream, knowing well that his white and pink decorated room of his parent’s house, isn’t capable of holding anyone for his screams to reach. "I can't breath. Please, I can't breathe."

He slides down his door and crumbles against the floor; hoping, wishing that it was all just a cruel dream. That he would wake up in the arms of his soulmates and that this ugly, lonely feeling that’s just some dark, repressed part of his mind, would just _go away._

“Please...” he sobs. 

_Kook, Seokie, Yoonie, Joon, Tae, Jin._

**_“Jin!”_ **

-

Seokjin jumps from his spot on the couch, whipping his head around at the familiar voice. “What was that?”

Myung Jun huffs a laugh from the other end of the room and increases the volume of their nightly film. “You’re hearing things, Jin.”

_Help. Jin, Help._

The uncertainty sits restlessly in the bottom of Seokjin’s stomach, and he glances at Myung Jun, dubiously. “Are you sure, it sounded like my name was being called out.” 

Myung Jun nearly growls in his spot, staring violently at his friend. “It was nothing, Seokjin. Don’t be fucking stupid.”

_Can you hear us, Jin?_

Seokjin whimpers and curls in on himself. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Sorry MJ.”

_This feels wrong. What am I forgetting?_

_JIN?! HELP, PLEASE!_

He gains a second of confidence and stares at Myung Jun’s form. “You’re not real.”

In a second there’s a figure in front of him and it’s next words are heavy with poison. “Oh yeah? Then this won’t hurt a bit.”

Seokjin stutters as his vision and his consciousness leave him once more.

-

**_Where are you?!_ **

**_Please no._ **

**_Don’t do this to me again, damn it!_ **

**_It’s just a bad dream._ **

**_Someone answer me, please!_ **

**_Please, I can't breathe._ **

-

Seokjin wakes up suddenly, and it’s to his mother and father beside either side of his childhood bed. 

He’s paralysed and can only glance around. “Where am I?” He chokes out. 

His mother smiles grimmly and caresses his arms with a lead-like trail. “You’re home, Seokjin.”

At his name, he remembers a story his grandfather once told him, _“All soulmates dream once they find each other, it can be good or scary or confusing. They’re just dreams, Seokjin.”_

_My soulmates…_

His father pushes some hair from his forehead, “Are you feeling better?”

“Where were you? I was in hospital, alone and you didn’t even visit. Didn’t even think if I was alive or not. Did you care? Did you want me dead? You lied to me for a year, despite promising you’d tell me if you heard from MJ.”

All he wants is to leave, to find his soulmates. To drown in their warmth, and their smell. 

“Seokjin, don’t be silly. You didn’t go to the hospital. You just felt a little sick and we drove you back from school. Don’t you remember?” Her smile is plastic and intimidating. _Fake. Fake._

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

“Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook! Where are they?”

“Oh them? They did this to you. Don’t you remember?”

“Let me wake up.” He demands. 

His father refuses and places a strong grip on his chest. “We can’t let you do that, Seokjin. We can’t have them hurt you again by making you think that they actually want you, can we?”

“Let me wake up, now.”

_They don’t care about you._

“Let go.”

_They abandoned you._

“I’m leaving.”

_You have no one._

“Stop, damn you!”

_They’ll suffer as you have._

“Over my dead body.” 

-

Jungkook's back warms up and he catches the feeling of long arms as they wind around his waist, _“Wake up, bun.”_

-

Namjoon has a hand lifting him from the wooden boards, his chest clears and there are eyes inches from his, _“Wake up, darling.”_

-

Yoongi’s tears are brushed away and he falls onto someone’s chest, arms strong around his back, _“Wake up, sweetheart.”_

-

A hand reaches between Hoseok’s shoulder blades and he turns to find a warm breath on his neck, _“Wake up, baby.”_

-

There’s someone cupping his jaw softly and Taehyung glances up at the warm gaze, _“Wake up, bear.”_

-

Jimin is lifted off the floor and into someone’s lap. They smell soft and sweet, _“You can wake up now, it’s okay. It’s just a dream. I promise you it’s safe.”_

-

Jungkook once again wakes abruptly and immediately checks on his soulmates. It appears that they had all been victims to the horrid dreams, because they all look to each other with teary eyes. 

“I thought you were all gone.” Jimin speaks up softly and his small voice breaks the hearts of his soulmates.

“So did I-”

“I was back-”

“I couldn’t find you-”

“It was so quiet-”

“Locked in-”

They all pile into a cuddle pile after that and count each of their breaths, only then realising that there’s only six. 

“Where’s Jin?”

Namjoon sits up and indeed, Seokjin isn’t there. He leaps out of the room and when he returns to find his soulmates clinging to each other, he shudders a breath. “His keys and wallet are gone.”

That wakes them fully and each climb out of bed to search the house.

Seokjin is nowhere in sight.

-

Almost an hour later and he still hasn’t shown up, they start to get extremely worried. 

“Did that dream scare him off?” Jimin mumbles to himself, dejectedly. They all sit around the living room and kitchen counter, trying desperately to recall every second of the previous night. _Was it a full moon? Was it cold? Why did we dream about those things?_

They were all pretty shaken up, trying desperately to stay strong for the others, although they were all close to breaking point. 

“Why do we keep losing him,” Jungkook mumbles to himself and Hoseok can only catch the end. Still, he brings the youngest into a protective embrace, cradling his head and kissing his cheek softly.

The front door creaks and it sends the soulmates into a mess of bodies as they sprint to see the door just as a person staggers through.

They all sigh in defeat when they see Myung Jun enter with a handful of grocery bags. “Oh, it’s only MJ.”

Myung Jun huffs at the back-handed statement as he tries to regain his balance. “Yeah it’s only MJ, who is fucking struggling at the moment.”

Namjoon apologises and they all grab a bag each and head to the kitchen. Yoongi pushes Taehyung from taking a peak in the bags, and assists in lifting the heavy cartons from the floor. “What’s with all the food?” 

Myung heaves as he lifts the last bag onto the counter and stretches slightly to strengthen his back. “For the barbeque this evening. There’s enough of us to fill a state so Jin wanted to make sure that there would be plenty. _Asshole didn’t need to buy the whole damn store though…_ ”

At the sound of their soulmate’s name, they perk up, Myung Jun clearly oblivious to the six’s worry of their seventh.

“You know where Jin is? Was he with you?” Jungkook asks Myung Jun as he starts unpacking the bags. The tired male glances mordantly at the youngest.

“Yes, he was with me, he got me up at _six_ to go shopping with him. He didn’t want to wake you so he made me go with him. He’s just parking the car now. Poor bastard hasn’t driven in so long, I think he forgot how to. ” He laughs slightly at their relieved expressions. “You guys have nothing to worry about. He spent the whole morning completely blabbering his head off about you guys, and what you got up to yesterday, _in detail may I add,_ which was kinda gross to hear, but whatever.”

Like the devil himself, Seokjin walks through whistling a small tune and in seconds he’s on the kitchen floor with six bodies crushing him. “Jesus guys. Let me at least shower before you jump me again.” He laughs as Taehyung and Jimin nuzzle into his neck, pointedly trying to hide their teary faces.

Myung Jun gags and grabs the keys from Seokjin’s hand. “Alright lovebirds, I’m going to see _my_ boyfriends now since Jin took all my morning cuddles from me. Call me when you’ve finished drooling, ‘Kay?”

Seokjin laughs a goodbye and the minute the front door is closed again, he has everyone kissing his face, similar to last night.

Only today, he can feel the heavy pull of their hearts through the bond. “You guys had the bad dreams too, huh?”

Jungkook tries to explain through his hiccups and wet sniffs, “We didn’t know where you went. We woke up after those horrible dreams and you weren’t there. It scared the hell out of us. We didn’t know if you left, or if you were scared by last night, or if you were still mad, or if you were even with us to begin with.”

Seokjin’s heart rings with the soft sounds of his soulmates as he tries to comfort them, assuring them that he was there, and that he loves them.

“I’d never leave. Not after last night. My grandparents told me about soulmate dreams, and how when we finally meet, we would dream of the things heaviest in our hearts. I don’t remember much about it. Although they are nothing to worry about. They’re just dreams, after all.”

His soulmates stare incredulously at their oldest, because how could he have not remembered? When _he_ was in their dream, saving _them_. “I’m not leaving.” He reminds them once more. 

He holds his right arm up straight, so the gold thread glows under the light from the window. “See? We’re one, again.” The six gasp at the string and he has their lips on him once more. He giggles and talks through the bond.

**_We have each other now. I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you again. Ever._ **

-

**MJ**

u done?

just getting started bby ;)

EW

tmi

have fun  
  


thank you mj

what for

you gave me the courage to talk to them

you did that all on your own

im proud of you

:)

_(read)_

_-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! 
> 
> I'm sad to finish this story because it has been so much fun. I have another work in the making and i hope that people will like it as much as I do.
> 
> Your comments and your kudos mean the world to me so thank you for those.
> 
> Love you all.
> 
> See you in the last chapter!


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